doureallycare2

Wow great post you guys!! Wish I would have had those post a month ago when I was going through the worst of my withdraw from him.... I am now really bolstered up... Reinforced with the knowledge that I can crack this dynamic and I am not going to be his chicken!!!

iggy24

there is no such thing as an alcoholic mind

sickofthiscrap

I also have a controlling axbf. We split three months ago. I deleted his number and changed mine, deleted and blocked him on fb, the whole nine yards. I still see him around at work because we work for the same company but he got the message after I took those actions and he leaves me be now.

It was hard for me because I loved him very much despite all his crazy, and still do... but he was toxic to me and I had to get rid of him. Now that I'm sober I can't imagine being in a relationship like that. I think I could only tolerate it in the haze of booze. Sometimes I am tempted to reach out to him but then I remember he was part of my drinking life and that way bad stuff lies.

doureallycare2

Wow you had his number... 4 missed calls last night from him.....I feel so strong.. I was tempted to pick up. but didn't... I actually want to block his calls now.. yet something, that hard connection to break hasn't let me do it... and yet I can see myself doing it and not panic about it... (last time I even thought of doing it sent me into a severe panic mode)

EndGameNYC

Letting go of someone who at one time was important to us is never easy. It's difficult to abandon even a bad relationship. You can't change your feelings by a conclusion of the mind, but there are things you can do to accelerate the transition. By taking action, which is much more under our conscious control than our feelings, we can at least begin to influence our feelings.

For me, the same holds true with achieving sobriety. Regardless of my feelings around putting down the drink -- forever or for a single day -- my taking actions to live a sober life eventually brought my feelings more in line with what I wanted to achieve.

Jupiters

LOL I knew it. Typical.
Just keep ignoring them, he will go away at some point. It may take awhile though. So you need to be strong in your resolve.