What are your tools?
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
What are your tools?
People talk about using tools as part of a recovery plan. What does that mean to you guys, and what kinds of things do you consider to be your tools?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
-Checking in here every day.
-Trying to respond to five posts a day to keep me focused and maybe even help others.
-Rereading old threads I find helpful. My favorite is "Is Two Bottles of Wine a Lot?"
-Taking time to think every day about the positives to come: career goals, losing weight, getting fit.
This is my big one: my only goal today is to NOT DRINK. I go to work of course, normal things but if I can get through today sober, I won't worry about the Big Mac I ate, the large Pepsi I drank, skipping the gym, my messy car, anything.
In early sobriety all of my tools and strength have to be focused on not drinking.
I can become a health-guru-no-sugar-no-coffee-yoga-freak-Suze-Orman-with-my-finances-Jillian-Michaels-with-my-fitness-paleo-diet-clean-freak next week.
-Trying to respond to five posts a day to keep me focused and maybe even help others.
-Rereading old threads I find helpful. My favorite is "Is Two Bottles of Wine a Lot?"
-Taking time to think every day about the positives to come: career goals, losing weight, getting fit.
This is my big one: my only goal today is to NOT DRINK. I go to work of course, normal things but if I can get through today sober, I won't worry about the Big Mac I ate, the large Pepsi I drank, skipping the gym, my messy car, anything.
In early sobriety all of my tools and strength have to be focused on not drinking.
I can become a health-guru-no-sugar-no-coffee-yoga-freak-Suze-Orman-with-my-finances-Jillian-Michaels-with-my-fitness-paleo-diet-clean-freak next week.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
In the beginning (and many still) for me:
There's a great book called Living Sober, that's full of tools for staying away from the first drink. I think it's an invaluable resource for any newcomer. Easy reading, and doesn't push AA nor God. Just a lot of practical advice. Easy reading, too.
- AA
- The 12 Steps
- The Bigbook
- Calling someone
- Staying away from people, places, and things that might have made me want to drink.
- Prayer
- Meditation
- Counseling
- Deep breathing relaxation exercises
- Physical exercise
- Reading positive material
- Writing journals
- Thinking a drink through (imagining in detail exactly what I think would happen should I drink, right up until the next morning)
- Doing service work of some sort (in AA or elsewhere)
- Being as honest, open minded, and willing as I can possibly be
There's a great book called Living Sober, that's full of tools for staying away from the first drink. I think it's an invaluable resource for any newcomer. Easy reading, and doesn't push AA nor God. Just a lot of practical advice. Easy reading, too.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Good question.
To my way of thinking, there are two types of tools. Broadly speaking, you can put them into two categories. Proactive and reactive.
Reactive tools are for those times you want to drink. They involve the actions that you take in the moment. These can be things like urge surfing, calling someone, engaging in some form of activity in order to distract yourself from the craving, going to an AA meeting (assuming one is immediately available) or recognizing the addictive voice and remembering the big plan etc. It involves putting a plan into action.
Proactive tools are doing things before the actual cravings hit, or involve avoiding the craving altogether. These might include getting involved in a support group (like AA or Smart recovery) or learning about a specific method such as AVRT. Proactive tools can also involve learning about specific ways to deal with cravings (like urge surfing) before they are present. Proactive tools often involve understanding the mechanisms by which urges manifest themselves, for example learning about triggers. Again proactive tools involve doing things to prepare for difficult situations that might put you at risk for picking up.
Fortunately there are many wrenches for just about every nut, but regardless of the specific tool, they require ACTION.
To my way of thinking, there are two types of tools. Broadly speaking, you can put them into two categories. Proactive and reactive.
Reactive tools are for those times you want to drink. They involve the actions that you take in the moment. These can be things like urge surfing, calling someone, engaging in some form of activity in order to distract yourself from the craving, going to an AA meeting (assuming one is immediately available) or recognizing the addictive voice and remembering the big plan etc. It involves putting a plan into action.
Proactive tools are doing things before the actual cravings hit, or involve avoiding the craving altogether. These might include getting involved in a support group (like AA or Smart recovery) or learning about a specific method such as AVRT. Proactive tools can also involve learning about specific ways to deal with cravings (like urge surfing) before they are present. Proactive tools often involve understanding the mechanisms by which urges manifest themselves, for example learning about triggers. Again proactive tools involve doing things to prepare for difficult situations that might put you at risk for picking up.
Fortunately there are many wrenches for just about every nut, but regardless of the specific tool, they require ACTION.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
I value my dignity more than a drink.
How do I know this ?
Would I get absolutely stark naked and walk into a bar or a bottle shop ?
No way !!!!
therefore ... I value my dignity more than a drink.
How do I know this ?
Would I get absolutely stark naked and walk into a bar or a bottle shop ?
No way !!!!
therefore ... I value my dignity more than a drink.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by Joe Nerv 
In the beginning (and many still) for me:
There's a great book called Living Sober, that's full of tools for staying away from the first drink. I think it's an invaluable resource for any newcomer. Easy reading, and doesn't push AA nor God. Just a lot of practical advice. Easy reading, too.
- AA
- The 12 Steps
- The Bigbook
- Calling someone
- Staying away from people, places, and things that might have made me want to drink.
- Prayer
- Meditation
- Counseling
- Deep breathing relaxation exercises
- Physical exercise
- Reading positive material
- Writing journals
- Thinking a drink through (imagining in detail exactly what I think would happen should I drink, right up until the next morning)
- Doing service work of some sort (in AA or elsewhere)
- Being as honest, open minded, and willing as I can possibly be
There's a great book called Living Sober, that's full of tools for staying away from the first drink. I think it's an invaluable resource for any newcomer. Easy reading, and doesn't push AA nor God. Just a lot of practical advice. Easy reading, too.
Ditto.
I’ll add Acceptance of the fact we cannot drink in safety and the one most don’t like which is a much needed one also in my view, CHANGE. This can include much of what Joe posted even if we don’t like it, it’s part of our medicine.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers
-Checking in here every day.
-Trying to respond to five posts a day to keep me focused and maybe even help others.
-Rereading old threads I find helpful. My favorite is "Is Two Bottles of Wine a Lot?"
-Taking time to think every day about the positives to come: career goals, losing weight, getting fit.
This is my big one: my only goal today is to NOT DRINK. I go to work of course, normal things but if I can get through today sober, I won't worry about the Big Mac I ate, the large Pepsi I drank, skipping the gym, my messy car, anything.
In early sobriety all of my tools and strength have to be focused on not drinking.
I can become a health-guru-no-sugar-no-coffee-yoga-freak-Suze-Orman-with-my-finances-Jillian-Michaels-with-my-fitness-paleo-diet-clean-freak next week.
-Trying to respond to five posts a day to keep me focused and maybe even help others.
-Rereading old threads I find helpful. My favorite is "Is Two Bottles of Wine a Lot?"
-Taking time to think every day about the positives to come: career goals, losing weight, getting fit.
This is my big one: my only goal today is to NOT DRINK. I go to work of course, normal things but if I can get through today sober, I won't worry about the Big Mac I ate, the large Pepsi I drank, skipping the gym, my messy car, anything.
In early sobriety all of my tools and strength have to be focused on not drinking.
I can become a health-guru-no-sugar-no-coffee-yoga-freak-Suze-Orman-with-my-finances-Jillian-Michaels-with-my-fitness-paleo-diet-clean-freak next week.
Earlier & unsuccessful attempts for me had me trying to change EVERYTHING at once. I think one of my most powerful tools this time (my most successful attempt ever) is to simply be gentle & forgiving with myself. My only goal right now is to not drink today.
That's it.
I can be Superwoman tomorrow. Plus I truly believe (as I'm experiencing) that everything kind of starts to fall in place naturally simply by eliminating alcohol from the equations.
Great thread. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
SR
AA
Talking to others in recovery
Exercise
Journaling
A focus on self-development and personal growth
Working on steps
Service to others
Seeking to develop myself spiritually
Time spent in nature
Gratitude
Positivity
AA
Talking to others in recovery
Exercise
Journaling
A focus on self-development and personal growth
Working on steps
Service to others
Seeking to develop myself spiritually
Time spent in nature
Gratitude
Positivity
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
I don't think about it much anymore. Had a friend go back to moderating and truly wished him the best. I'm sure the results will be in soon either way. It's the only way to know but dangerous for some who can't put it down for some time after starting(I am one of those-14 yr. relapse). It put a damper on our weekly family meeting as he was our third but not my view. I don't drink and rarely need to affirm that anymore but is a good primary mindset for me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 199
My biggest tool in my box is my own determination. Some argue against it being a willpower thing and addiction is beyond just mindset. I disagree and find that the minute I decided for myself to help myself and it wasn't up to anyone else but me, I started down the path. At only 15 days sober, I understand my point has holes. I am proud to see everyone's milestones, Weeks, Months, Years, but my biggest goal is today. Those milestones take care of themselves if you take care of the day to day. If it is to be it's up to me...
A.K.A Bri
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 159
My biggest tool is the memory of who I used to be. I hated who I was so much because of all the despair and embarrassment I brought myself from drinking. Also, writing helps me make sense of my emotions and my days, working out makes me feel and look great, reading gives me something to look forward to and lose myself in, my spirituality keeps me motivated and happy, daily gratitude lists remind me of how blessed I am, SR has given me a much needed outlet, and last but not least - Chipotle on my weekly "cheat day" brings me heaven on earth. Like the feeling I used to chase but never get from a bottle. 
I used to drink for confidence, motivation, happiness, adequacy, fun, the whole nine. So anything positive that brings me those feelings are what reminds me I don't "need" alcohol like I thought I did. That, in fact, I'm actually better naturally without it.
-B
I used to drink for confidence, motivation, happiness, adequacy, fun, the whole nine. So anything positive that brings me those feelings are what reminds me I don't "need" alcohol like I thought I did. That, in fact, I'm actually better naturally without it.
-B
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Fly's box.....Body, mind and soul
Asking others for help
Oswald Chambers - Utmost for His Highest
Meditation = Timeless Wisdom / passage meditation Eknath Easwaran
Twelve and Twelve / Daily Reflections / 24 hours a day / Big Book
ACTION!
Meeting(s)
Service work
SR Check in - post wayyyy to much
Hobbies - fishing, guitar - cooking
Walking
Gratitude reflection/prayer
Interaction with sober non-earth people - frequently/daily
Above all .....
Thy will be done.
peace
Asking others for help
Oswald Chambers - Utmost for His Highest
Meditation = Timeless Wisdom / passage meditation Eknath Easwaran
Twelve and Twelve / Daily Reflections / 24 hours a day / Big Book
ACTION!
Meeting(s)
Service work
SR Check in - post wayyyy to much
Hobbies - fishing, guitar - cooking
Walking
Gratitude reflection/prayer
Interaction with sober non-earth people - frequently/daily
Above all .....
Thy will be done.
peace
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
I did want to add that my tools did not work at all until I accepted that I cannot drink anymore, ever. No way, no how, no drinking.
No more negotiating, bargaining, wishing, hoping, praying, justifying, lying, apathy, taking days off from sobriety. None of it!
When you accept that you can't drink anymore then you can start collecting tools and using them.
No more negotiating, bargaining, wishing, hoping, praying, justifying, lying, apathy, taking days off from sobriety. None of it!
When you accept that you can't drink anymore then you can start collecting tools and using them.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
My best, and favorite tools are my cats and dogs. Giving them the best possible care means I have to be sober. My reward is their loving gaze or the doggie-or-kitty kisses. My reward is their good health and devotion to me.
Giving them the best possible care means I have to be sober. My reward is their loving gaze or the doggie-or-kitty kisses. My reward is their good health and devotion to me.
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