Thatdeliveryguy

I was reading my post over the last couple of days and you know I noticed something. I read a post by sprout50 ( a good friend hope I don't get in trouble for mentioning him) and he was dead on. I mean it hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. I read excuse after excuse after excuse, my cats, my wife, rent, power, but, but but but, the rehab is free ( like that necessarily makes it worse) and if the rehab had a cost I would say it cost too much.

So this excuse machine is going to contact his two viable options for rehab today, make a decision and try to get in tomorrow or when I am offered a job.

In recovery, or my on again off again recovery, I did try to promise myself I should be honest in what I do and say. Its funny talking about honesty, I mean honesty is hard for me. I exaggerate, fool myself, try to decieve others, but really in all honesty ( pun intended) I am only really lying to me. Nobody has been deceived in ages.

So here is too hoping these rehab centers will take me today. Yeah, its not going to be perfect, yes I am reluctant, yep still drinking on occasion and fell off the bandwagon just days ago, oh and I don't always take my medication. What I can say is this though, everything, and I mean everything I just said preceding this, was the absolute truth, and just a few months ago you would of never heard me say those things. I know, SR isn't enough for some, me included, but I thank you friends for helping me get this far.

So I am supposing today rehab might take me, if not I am going to post later if they do, wish me luck! I think the time for lies and excuses has long passed.

anattaboy

Tdg, sadly the excuse-making doesn't stop when the booze is gone. I've been hemming and hawing about getting on the treadmill for 4 hrs. Now my daughter is up (I would only be on it 10 minutes).
I will say that making the jump to non-drinker is a process I do not have to repeat. Only after being abstinent for a coupla weeks did I see my AV arranging my circumstances to be chaotic. Chaos is easy to say eff-it to and drink (nothing matters anyway). My outlook has changed and yours will too if your will to be free is stronger than the addiction to the self-fulfilling disaster if drinking.

Nonsensical

The most difficult aspect of addiction for me was coming to grips with the fact that part of my brain is addicted to alcohol and will lie to me to get what it wants.

The second most difficult part was coming to grips with the fact that I believed it's lies for so long.

Good luck to you TDG. You are a fighter, and you will win this war.

sprout50

Jeremy, You don't know how happy I am to hear this! The reason I wrote what I did to you is that I have been there/done that. I also know the relief that comes from letting it all go and getting the help you need. Once you make the full jump, you are going to truly feel so much better.

No matter where you are in your recovery, you can always be straight up honest here. I have only seen folks here that truly want to help. Please post later so we know what is going on with you.

And...pssst....Jeremy, I am a her not a him.

Altoids

TDG - I had this conversation recently with my mom. My sister died of alcoholism 20+ years ago, and even though my niece is not a drinker, she has many many many of an addicts mannerism. . . like lying, stealing, manipulation, justification. It's like she is an addict without the drugs, and it is scary. I told my mom that those of us with addiction are masters of this. It surprised her that I was including myself in that group. Yes, I am a master at manipulation so continually check myself to the point of brutal honesty. We have to notice the things we do so we can correct them. YAY for you for noticing and taking steps to fix this.

I feel blessed to have experienced addiction because it has really helped my mom understand what happened with my sister, and now it is helping her deal with my niece. It has also helped my niece understand why her mom "chose" drugs and alcohol over her. You, TDG, will and are using your experiences to help others. Keep on working. Keep on making it happen. Every step in the right direction helps, not only you, but many many many people.

SoberLeigh

Best of luck, TDG; rooting for you!!!!!

Soberwolf

Hi J what exactly is happening with rehab is it today ??

if so good luck be waiting right here for you or can you use internet there ?

remember tooth brush spk soon J

Dee74

Let us know what you hear about the rehabs TDG

D

Hevyn

We are with you TDG. Hugs.