My first thought reading this was, "live in the moment" ... don't think. Just stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking. Let the worry, worry itself to death.
Every time your brain "goes there", reroute it. Distract it. Don't humor it. ACCEPTS
I'm sure others will be quick to hop to the rescue here
- good for you for DOING this and reaching out!!! Your desire is obvious in all your posts.
I was scared to be sober too. My brain had convinced me I couldn't live without my addiction. In the end, I realized it wasn't my brain really, that had convinced me - but the voice of my addiction speaking in place of my brain. That ah-ha moment has kept me going.
Have you looked into detox centers/treatment? I think someone asked that here, I can't recall - didn't know what the upshot on that was.