Ive noticed something on this last relapse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: london
Posts: 146
Ive noticed something on this last relapse
I had been sober for nearly three weeks when i hurt my knee running and had to take a few days off. Exercise has been like my new addiction something i could focus all my energy on. My next thought was if i couldnt exercise then i might as well drink. I had been working out 3 hours a day and eating right and trying to be a better person. Alcohol rarely entered my mind. But it wasnt until i hurt my knee that i started craving alcohol , i also wanted to eat junk food and stuff my face like a fat pig.
This had happened before and I then realised that unless i eat healthy, dont drink and exercise i usually end up drinking all the time and overeating , and not doing any exercise. Theres no middle ground for me , Im either a fat mess who drinks all the time or a health freak who exercises all the time until something triggers a drinking episode.
Its like there is no grey area with me, im either a complete drunk who cant function, or im a a gym freak who is obsessed with the gym.
Why cant i just moderate , why has everything gotta be done so over the top?
This had happened before and I then realised that unless i eat healthy, dont drink and exercise i usually end up drinking all the time and overeating , and not doing any exercise. Theres no middle ground for me , Im either a fat mess who drinks all the time or a health freak who exercises all the time until something triggers a drinking episode.
Its like there is no grey area with me, im either a complete drunk who cant function, or im a a gym freak who is obsessed with the gym.
Why cant i just moderate , why has everything gotta be done so over the top?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
I hear you, Bradley. I have to force myself into a day of rest every week, elsewise I overtrain. Today is that day and I'm kinda antsy, like a drink would maybe calm me down...but that's not an option. Taking today off will make my next round of workouts better.
Hopefully you will finnish mending soon
Bunnez
Hopefully you will finnish mending soon
Bunnez
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Thepatman 
I beleive seeking balance should be a priority in sobriety.
When I remove alcohol, balance becomes more realistic.
I still tend to do things all-or-nothing, but am starting to mature into the understanding that I cannot do that and do it all.
Finding balance is a lifelong pursuit, I think. Some of us are further along than others.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Learning a sense of balance is key to good recovery I think.
Think about work, but give equal thought to healthy life affirming downtime activities too.
Maybe you need to widen your recovery programme from simple abstinence and exercise too - have a back up plan for when exercise is not possible?
D
Think about work, but give equal thought to healthy life affirming downtime activities too.
Maybe you need to widen your recovery programme from simple abstinence and exercise too - have a back up plan for when exercise is not possible?
D
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 129
I always say to people that I either smoke 20 a day or none at all. I've come to realise I am this way with drinking, too.
Although I find smoking tastes vile to me now so it isn't a appealing habit, whereas I'm not sure I'll ever feel that way about alcohol.
I was just thinking to myself, will it get easier? And when?!
Although I find smoking tastes vile to me now so it isn't a appealing habit, whereas I'm not sure I'll ever feel that way about alcohol.
I was just thinking to myself, will it get easier? And when?!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: london
Posts: 146
Originally Posted by flossyfressia
I always say to people that I either smoke 20 a day or none at all. I've come to realise I am this way with drinking, too.
Although I find smoking tastes vile to me now so it isn't a appealing habit, whereas I'm not sure I'll ever feel that way about alcohol.
I was just thinking to myself, will it get easier? And when?!
Although I find smoking tastes vile to me now so it isn't a appealing habit, whereas I'm not sure I'll ever feel that way about alcohol.
I was just thinking to myself, will it get easier? And when?!
Youre also right to knock smoking on the head as it really is a horrible habit,
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 848
That is EXACTLY how I am. I have a very similar situation going on. I detoxed and instantly became a health nut again. I am exercising 6 days a week.
Last week I messed up my hand (crucial to most weight training days). I craved so bad it was insane. The only thing that got me through it was this site and hanging out with my family.
I know how you feel though. I went from eating out 5 days a week and drinking a fifth of whiskey everyday to eating a very clean diet and hitting the gym 6 days a week.
I'll take this lifestyle any day.
Last week I messed up my hand (crucial to most weight training days). I craved so bad it was insane. The only thing that got me through it was this site and hanging out with my family.
I know how you feel though. I went from eating out 5 days a week and drinking a fifth of whiskey everyday to eating a very clean diet and hitting the gym 6 days a week.
I'll take this lifestyle any day.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 848
I forgot something. One of the other things I did that helped me stay sober while not being able to work out was letting myself have one big ass junk meal.
I swear it helped so much. In my mind it let me eat a ton of calories without forgetting that evening from getting trashed. Treat yourself for being sober. Don't punish yourself for injuries.
I swear it helped so much. In my mind it let me eat a ton of calories without forgetting that evening from getting trashed. Treat yourself for being sober. Don't punish yourself for injuries.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
I can't really tell you what's going on in your head, but I can tell you that over the long run it doesn't matter. You just have to manage those moments, when your brain says, "well, because <X> happened, screw it -- I should just drink".
Because you shouldn't "just drink" -- that's a premise based on faulty logic. You're thinking that event <X> has some relationship, causal or otherwise, with drinking, and that doesn't need to be the case at all, and in fact cannot be the case, in a sober life.
If you think about things in a long-term mentality, it never makes sense to drink. You wouldn't think, "I am eating like crap and not running during the last few days, so I should just drink", because you would know that you will be running again and eating better today or tomorrow or the next day, because you're invested in living a healthier, more active life, and today's lapses don't mean you've failed, they just mean you're on a break, a lull.
I hope I'm conveying this idea in semi-comprehensible form, but I don't know.
Because you shouldn't "just drink" -- that's a premise based on faulty logic. You're thinking that event <X> has some relationship, causal or otherwise, with drinking, and that doesn't need to be the case at all, and in fact cannot be the case, in a sober life.
If you think about things in a long-term mentality, it never makes sense to drink. You wouldn't think, "I am eating like crap and not running during the last few days, so I should just drink", because you would know that you will be running again and eating better today or tomorrow or the next day, because you're invested in living a healthier, more active life, and today's lapses don't mean you've failed, they just mean you're on a break, a lull.
I hope I'm conveying this idea in semi-comprehensible form, but I don't know.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 129
Originally Posted by bradley26
Ive only ever gone 92 days without alcohol and it did get easier as time went on but I let complacency and my thoughts take over and kept slipping back to old ways. Youre also right to knock smoking on the head as it really is a horrible habit,
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
In the past I tried to replace alcohol with exercise- more of a 'moderation' drinking on certain days etc. It never worked in the longer term- winter comes, gets boring with the routine, work gets busy etc, going on holidays.
This time I accepted I could not run from pain or discomfort- in many ways it has been a more challenging road. I only did gentle things for a year (walks, bit of swimming, some bike riding) and I ruled out any 'measuring' (weight, heart monitor, diaries, distances, times, repetitions etc etc etc).
After three years I now do what I want to do- I am reasonably fit. recently my wife asked me how much I weighed- I said I didn't know but I think it is about 90kg turns out it was 81kg. I now feel like I could get into a 'program' and not obsess about it.
Balance and what I call being 'centred' is the thing for me
This time I accepted I could not run from pain or discomfort- in many ways it has been a more challenging road. I only did gentle things for a year (walks, bit of swimming, some bike riding) and I ruled out any 'measuring' (weight, heart monitor, diaries, distances, times, repetitions etc etc etc).
After three years I now do what I want to do- I am reasonably fit. recently my wife asked me how much I weighed- I said I didn't know but I think it is about 90kg turns out it was 81kg. I now feel like I could get into a 'program' and not obsess about it.
Balance and what I call being 'centred' is the thing for me
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Originally Posted by bradley26
I had been sober for nearly three weeks when i hurt my knee running and had to take a few days off. Exercise has been like my new addiction something i could focus all my energy on. My next thought was if i couldnt exercise then i might as well drink. I had been working out 3 hours a day and eating right and trying to be a better person. Alcohol rarely entered my mind. But it wasnt until i hurt my knee that i started craving alcohol , i also wanted to eat junk food and stuff my face like a fat pig.
This had happened before and I then realised that unless i eat healthy, dont drink and exercise i usually end up drinking all the time and overeating , and not doing any exercise. Theres no middle ground for me , Im either a fat mess who drinks all the time or a health freak who exercises all the time until something triggers a drinking episode.
Its like there is no grey area with me, im either a complete drunk who cant function, or im a a gym freak who is obsessed with the gym.
Why cant i just moderate , why has everything gotta be done so over the top?
This had happened before and I then realised that unless i eat healthy, dont drink and exercise i usually end up drinking all the time and overeating , and not doing any exercise. Theres no middle ground for me , Im either a fat mess who drinks all the time or a health freak who exercises all the time until something triggers a drinking episode.
Its like there is no grey area with me, im either a complete drunk who cant function, or im a a gym freak who is obsessed with the gym.
Why cant i just moderate , why has everything gotta be done so over the top?
You got frustrated 'cause you couldn't do what you wanted and your AV jumped in the gap.
The first thing that little beast wants is any frustration on your part to leap in and say: "ME,ME,ME!"
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