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Old 09-16-2014, 07:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Can't believe this happened... actually yes I can


I am not new to the forum, but I am new to this section of the forum. I did most of my posting in the Family and Friends section about my alcoholic brother. Now I have to admit to my own problems with drinking. So I am redirecting from worrying about my brother (who remains an entrenched alcoholic and wants to stay that way..he said so) to taking care of myself.

Slowly and insidiously I have developed a "drinking problem". I have been drinking every night and a lot for the past few years. I made excuses as to why I had to drink a lot... I come from a messed up family, my parents, grandparents, brother, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins all addicts, huge losses in the past few years, financial problems, clinical depression, a broken relationship, a broken fingernail...any excuse will do.

So I finally said to myself... YOU have a problem and it is time to deal. I want to break the cycle in my family and be healthy and clean. I am getting blow back already from people. "awww, you don't drink THAT much do you?" "are you gonna drink when you go out with friends?" "come on...one won't hurt"

I am a closet drinker and people don't realize how much I drink. I never get sloppy or slurry... but I KNOW how much I drink and I hate it. I hate myself for getting like this. I remember as a kid throwing out my parent's liquor because I hated it so much. Now, at age 57, I am just like them...

So... here I am. Day 1. Thank you all for the support and being real.
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:10 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Good for you. You are the best judge of what you need to do. What others say says more about them than it does about you. Stay stern!
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:14 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I am getting blow back already from people. "awww, you don't drink THAT much do you?" "are you gonna drink when you go out with friends?" "come on...one won't hurt"
This is one of the reason I didn't tell anyone I was stopping drinking. Had people said those things to me, I was very vulnerable and would likely have continued drinking. I'm you recognize that you have problem with alcohol. Take the leap of faith you need to accomplish this.
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:21 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thank u for the support!

I told people I was going to quit to be accountable. Perhaps that wasn't a wise idea. I am not planning on saying anymore about it to my friends. Just do what I want to do and if they pressure me I can hopefully tell them to back off.
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:30 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi SadieJack. I am new to this forum also. Congratulations on your wonderful insight and for breaking the addiction cycle.

We can and will do this.
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:33 AM   #6 (permalink)
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We can and will do this.
YES WE CAN!!!

Thank you! And welcome to the forum.
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:42 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I'm very happy for you that you are taking back your life. You won't regret it.

Welcome to the dark side
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:45 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hi SJ and welcome.
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:46 AM   #9 (permalink)
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It's good that you are concentrating on yourself now. Good choice and good luck!
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:47 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Good for you - I can relate. Getting sober and looking in the mirror have been some of my best decisions!
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:50 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I'm glad you're taking the first step to getting sober.
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:55 AM   #12 (permalink)
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What a brave post, Sadie! We're all behind you!
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Old 09-16-2014, 08:11 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Welcome. And well done!
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Old 09-16-2014, 08:27 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I am a closet drinker and people don't realize how much I drink. I never get sloppy or slurry... but I KNOW how much I drink and I hate it. I hate myself for getting like this. I remember as a kid throwing out my parent's liquor because I hated it so much. Now, at age 57, I am just like them...
Sadie it could have been me writing this, and we're very close in age as well. I was able to stop over 2 years ago and life if much better now. I hope it's the same for you.
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Old 09-16-2014, 08:35 AM   #15 (permalink)
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sadie, hello.
i was a closet drinker, also, and had to come out as an alcoholic to a few people in order to announce that i'd quit. (this was at the beginning, when i decided to avoid a few functions here and there that i was expected to go to and decided not to)

dealing with blow-back on day one is yucky, but good on you for coming here after recognizing where you're at. no blow-back here
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Old 09-16-2014, 08:50 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Sadie,

This struck a cord with me: I remember as a kid throwing out my parent's liquor because I hated it so much. I am over 40 and I used to hate my Dad's drinking. I thought I would never be like him. Who would want to? Yet I am an alcoholic today.

I am on Day Two here and starting to feel better. So glad you made the first step in admitting you have a problem. You are not alone. We are all behind you on this.

Welcome to the forum.
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Old 09-16-2014, 09:24 AM   #17 (permalink)
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It's wonderful to have all of this support from those who have been there and know. Thank you all again!!
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Old 09-16-2014, 09:30 AM   #18 (permalink)
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This is one of the reason I didn't tell anyone I was stopping drinking. Had people said those things to me, I was very vulnerable and would likely have continued drinking. I'm you recognize that you have problem with alcohol. Take the leap of faith you need to accomplish this.
Agreed. I didn't tell anyone either until I had some time under my belt. Tough enough doing this for ourselves, let alone with the added pressure from others.

Best of luck, you can do this and we will be here when you need us.
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Old 09-16-2014, 10:02 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Welcome to this side of the fence!!

I watched my dad become an alcoholic as I was growing up and like you hated alcohol because of what it did to my family, but ended up exactly the same, with my own issues with alcohol!!

I've stopped trying to figure out the ins and outs, the whys of the situation, I simply had to accept where I found myself in life and work hard to change the path I was on!!

You can write a new chapter to your life too!!
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Old 09-16-2014, 10:08 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Your words are so familiar to me, SadieJack. You do what is best for YOU, don't listen to anyone else. Welcome to this side of the forum- it's actually a great place to be, if you have to be in a place like this. Lots of support here.

Now it's time for you!
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