Loneliness in early recovery.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Ga
Posts: 1,511
I drank alone and hid it... Would drink around others but just like you guys said it always either ended badly or I got irritated having to keep pace with others. It would embarrass me if someone noticed if I was ahead... I was usually more ahead then they knew because I probably started at home before we even met up.... Hid it from my husband, hid empties in everywhere... Really dumb stuff....
I can do all things through he who strengthens me
I can do all things through he who strengthens me
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I was always lonely - even in a crowd.
One thing my recovery did for me - and I can;t express how grateful I am for this - it forced me to spend time in my own company.
I always avoided that before, because I hated myself so much.
I found I was actually a pretty ok guy, and I was working to make myself even better.
The paradox was - as soon as I got ok with being by myself, other people started to enter, or re-enter my life.
I'm sure the same will happen with you too, mrrryah
D
One thing my recovery did for me - and I can;t express how grateful I am for this - it forced me to spend time in my own company.
I always avoided that before, because I hated myself so much.
I found I was actually a pretty ok guy, and I was working to make myself even better.
The paradox was - as soon as I got ok with being by myself, other people started to enter, or re-enter my life.
I'm sure the same will happen with you too, mrrryah
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Silver Spring, Maryland
Posts: 198
Mirrryah1---- This is totally normal and I think you answered the question yourself. AA is a good start if it works for you. It works for me. Once you start working the program and have a network, I bet you will start feeling better. Give your self some time, you are mourning something that was with you all the time. It takes time to let that go and accept that fact that you have a new, healthier life now. I wish you the best of luck. Congrats on two weeks. That is awesome.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Sydney NSW
Posts: 350
Originally Posted by Mrrryah1 
That was exactly me. I had plenty of opportunities to drink with other people. But I didn't want to drink with other people. Because that always turned out one of two ways:
I would either NOT enjoy my drinking, because I was controlling it so I wouldn't be judged... or alternatively, I would drink freely so I could enjoy it, and end up doing something to humiliate myself, and feel judged.
Neither option was much appealing to me. Lol.
Even when I went out to "social events", I would USUALLY (if I was lucky) stick around for one quick drink and then bolt, heading straight to the liquor store, so I could go home and commence drinking alone.
I would either NOT enjoy my drinking, because I was controlling it so I wouldn't be judged... or alternatively, I would drink freely so I could enjoy it, and end up doing something to humiliate myself, and feel judged.
Neither option was much appealing to me. Lol.
Even when I went out to "social events", I would USUALLY (if I was lucky) stick around for one quick drink and then bolt, heading straight to the liquor store, so I could go home and commence drinking alone.
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