nwmxcn

Any good tips on handling peer pressure? I've communicated to friends my NEED to remain alcohol-free. Several don't understand this need and continuously nag. This past weekend I caved largely because of the nagging but know I can't do that. It upsets me when they mention it like I am not fun unless drunk or they feel bad that they have to drink alone. I'm afraid that I'm either going to get really upset with them or worse, give in. Any tips on handling these types of friends?

melki

Avoid them.

Soberwolf

If its getting to the point where you feel like screaming just talk to a friend beforehand to have a word and if it persists maybe consider better ppl who realise that your not drinking and respect that

All the best

soberjuly

You may need to distance yourself for awhile. Are all the social things you do with them around alcohol? You could go to the movies or something that doesn't involve alcohol. At least until you are strong enough to just say no.

ghostdad

Big holiday weekend coming up. What are you going to do? Best thing to do would be to avoid putting yourself in a situation that could cause you to relapse. I try to avoid situations where I am surrounded by booze but that isn't always possible. I also had a talk with my closest friends and they have been very supportive.

nwmxcn

I'm pretty good during normal circumstances not drinking as I can be very stubborn. I have kept myself out of situations where alcohol is involved (ie bars, clubs, etc). I'm more concerned with out of town vacations where it's both the AV and the friend trying to persuade me to drink. I have an upcoming cruise and am already anxious as I don't thing the girl I'm going with understands my determination.

soberjuly

A cruise doesn't sound like a casual date. Surely someone you are going on a cruise with will understand. You can have a good time sober. It's a major mental shift you need to make but it's possible. The media sells this idea that you need alcohol to have a good time but it's not true. I get a high off being a good mom, a good wife, a good friend. I was none of those things when I was drinking.

biminiblue

Maybe it's time to examine if these people are really friends.

A friend to me is someone who supports me and does not try to influence me to do things I don't want to do. Acquaintances may try, but if a friend does so I wouldn't really consider them a friend.

NorMar

These guys are not your friends, pure and simple. It is not that you are no fun unless you are drunk, it is the fact that THEY don't have fun unless you are drunk. Big difference. There's drinking buddies, then friends. My friends that I used to get drunk with, and who still drink heavily, always offer me a beer, but always have a water or bottled green tea because they know that is what I prefer. And NEVER pressure me to drink. My drinking buddies I don't see very much anymore.
I have posted this before, but I have had more than one of my FRIENDS come to me one on one and say, "Hey man, I wish I could slow down my drinking. You're doing good." Of course they are usually hammered when they say it.

Decline the drink, be firm, leave no doubts no means no. It CAN be done.

Mountainmanbob

might be best to break away from them for a while

my true friends were happy that I stopped drinking
and the good friends that they were
would not even drink around me for a very long time

I had to reassure them for many months into my continued sobriety
before they would have one or two drinks with me in the same room

seeing ones having an occasional drink in no way bothers me now
but, in the beginning of my sobriety
I think that it might not have been for the best

MM

Dee74

I went back to drinking so many times because I was still living my old drink-sodden life with my old drink-sodden friends.

I had to break contact with some who couldn't, or wouldn't, get it.

D

trachemys

Change peers.

SoberHoopsFan

Find new friends. The only people that peer pressure with regard to drinking are those who have their own addictions and toxic relationship with alcohol. They are lashing out because you are no longer a co-conspirator in an activity that they know deep down is unhealthy and wrong. If they are true friends, they will not care that you don't drink and agree to hang out with you outside of a bar.

Tonymblue

Most people dont understand. They do think its a "harmless" drink. We all know different. I say avoid them for awhile.

oldsoul1122

On a lighter note..If you're going to be with the group tell them you can be just as funny sober and start telling a bunch of BAD jokes. They'll get tired of it and stop pestering you to drink.

pickmepickme

When I abstained from alcohol last year my friends insisted that I have a drink when I came out. The first time I went to a bar I kept saying no, I'm trying to detox, and ended up giving in and drinking before too long. Those "friends" I avoid now, pretty much when I had said I quit drinking they quit contacting me anyway. They were not friends like I had thought, just drinking buddies. I'd rather have no friends than ones who are not real.

The second time, I was at a party, got offered a beer by a different friend, and told them that drinks just seem to make me sick anymore, and maybe I'm becoming allergic. (It is actually possible to become allergic to things even if you weren't before) They backed off pretty quickly. This is a great go-to with little explanation needed.