lucidsnake

I'm not even sure if joining this site is a good idea. I'm not trying to sound negative, I just want to find help and I don't really know where to go. Here is my sad story: everything is fine for me. I just drink a little too much. Every place I look for help people are in bad shape, and I feel like they wonder why I'm bothering. The issue is I have a beautiful wife and three wonderful children and I'm growing increasingly distant from them. I am barely hanging on; the true definition of a functional alcoholic. I am getting more and more out of shape, and only one crisis away from being the alcoholic you see in the news or the movies.

I see many resources available for people with DUIs or criminal records. I have none of those, but I am so close and have a family history of both. I want to be sober, but I don't really know where to start.

HeartsAfire

You're in the right spot, Lucid. Welcome.

Many of us share your story. It will be eerie to you how well we know you (and you us). Stay a while and have a look around. We're glad you found us.

dSober

Yep, you're in exactly the right spot. Pull up a chair, look around and keep coming back.

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome, lucidsnake. You have indeed come to the right place, and at the right time. It sounds like you're ready. There's the myth of the "high functioning" drunk but it really is just a myth. In all probability you don't do things as well as you thing you do. People probably do see through the facade.

To all outward appearances I had it together but like you I could feel the cracks forming on the inside even if they're weren't visible from the outside. Tired...that is the best way to describe the feeling. I just felt tired and hopeless, like there would never be anything besides drifting from drunk night to drunk night and from hangover to hangover.

It's good to have you with us at SR. If you're ready for something different, something better, you've come to the right place. You don't have to hit rock bottom to make a change.

MythOfSisyphus

BTW, for me AVRT was just what I needed. Do a search for it, and look at the "Bullet for my Beast" slideshow. There is more to the program but just that short presentation gave me tools to quit (sober now for 22 months).

Soberwolf

You have started my friend !!

Try18

Welcome. You have made a great start. Don't wait until the point all of us inevitably reach if we continue on the path of self destruction - when you start to lose things thick and fast and the consequences pile up. Plenty others have done that research for you. You don't have to lose the outside things - it sounds like you are already losing the most vital component of your life to alcohol - yourself.

You recognise you have a problem and that is a great starting point. There are many ways to seek support. I go to AA for face to face and find SR a wonderful support as its available 24/7.

Well done on the first step to being well.

IOAA2

Hi. I will suggest going to a months worth of AA meetingS and just listen. You might only say “I’m John and I’ll listen.” This way you’ll probably hear your story a few times and might care to speak to those telling it.
AA is for those who have a desire to stop drinking. It’s a program that works, like some others, IF we work it.

BE WELL

lucidsnake

Thank you all for the warm thoughts and suggestions! I'm may give AA a shot. I'm not really religious or anything, but from what I hear they are a pretty open group and if nothing else it's good to listen and have someone listen sometimes. I talked to my wife about it and took the day off work to just try and sort some of this out.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum lucidsnake!!

Keep it simple, the goal is to not drink today, just make it to bedtime and that's Day 1 ticked off, and then do the same tomorrow!!

Plenty of support is key, something to help you through when things get tough!!

You can do this!!

emmsie

Welcome, Lucidsnake. You've started the ball rolling by admitting you have a problem and coming here for help and that's a very brave thing to do. We've all been where you have, myself included so you're definitely in the right place. You've also been very brave to have spoken to your wife and to have taken a day off to put this first. There are many ways you can approach your recovery. As well as AA, there is SMART Recovery and Rational Recovery and you might want to consider alcohol counselling too. I've met quite a few people in successful and happy recovery on my journey and there are different ways work for different people. You have to find that way. If you really want this, you will. I wish you all the very best on your journey.

Hevyn

It's great to have you with us, Lucid. You'll find plenty of help from understanding people.

JaylaaKent

You can get off the train now or keep going until you get one of those DUI's, lost jobs, ruined relationships. Just because you don't have a terrible story doesn't mean you don't have all the symptoms of addiction: restless, irritable, discontent when not using, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, isolation, spiritually cut off. These are things that go with addiction, some of us have had them all of our lives. The tools used in recovery can be used by anyone to fix these deficiencies if the individual makes the decision to use them. I was at the same place as you, it did get bad, and I relapsed a few times, but I decided to get off the train before I got a DUI, lost my job, lost anymore relationships. Sometimes though if a person does not have a significant motivation to seek change such as those catastrophic events, there isn't sufficient reason or push to do recovery. It's a hard place to be in.

Tamerua

I was like that when I quit. No legal issues, no relationship problems, loved my son, good job, etc.

But, if I had one drink (which was mostly just on the weekends, didn't drink on school nights) I couldn't just stop at one or two. Not in my DNA. And there were times that I could, but that wasn't the norm. Here I am a year and a half later and I can see where this was headed. And it wouldn't have been pretty.

Mountainmanbob

yes, the liquid devil will do that in time

welcome to the site

many here will wish to lend a helping hand

count me in as one of those

M-Bob

Larrs430

Good luck Lucid, you sound alot like me. Never had a DUI, good job, no real probs.
But drink way too much over the years. Anyway lets work on no booze day to day.
Give it a try for awhile, bet you'll feel better. - Larry

Davethewave

Good luck snakey, it's not as hard giving up as you may imagine. I'm 6 weeks into it now and have never felt better. You learn to ignore that voice that says just drink would be nice. In my case I tell it fxxx off straight away.
I also found not thinking to far ahead helped. Live in the moment, don't think about saying no to a drink in a drinking situation tommorow, just say no right now. Don't over think it.

Enjoy the pleasure of going to sleep and waking up with a clear head and guilt free!

All the best!

SoberHoopsFan

Welcome aboard. If you are able to stop drinking, you will one day look back at the bolded statement and snicker to yourself. The reality is, when you are an active drunk, nothing is fine and everything is on the verge of disaster. Outward appearances mean nothing when the inner turmoil is eating you alive. You're in the right place. And as for the real bad consequences? As you allude to, they haven't happened... YET. I found towards the end of my drinking, my "YET" list had gotten quite quite small. It's never too early to address what could be a life and death problem.