RunnerBean

Good news: I've recognised over the past few days that my main triggers are feelings of boredom. I'm currently 8 days sober.

Bad news: Despite so far being able to isolate my AV and distance myself from it, it's getting harder rather than easier. I have an extremely high level of energy when I'm not drinking alcohol, I work 4 days a week and study 3 days a week, with the addition of 3 gym sessions and 2 cardio sessions per week.

However, after I have exhausted myself physically throughout the day, I just want to settle down at night with a bottle of my choice and listen to music.

I am finding it very difficult to focus my mind. For the past week when I am not attending to responsibilities (work/study), my mind cannot stay on one activity and I end up sitting on the internet for hours on end after I've completed a gym session. I think the internet is becoming another form of mind-numbing which I used to get from alcohol.

To be honest, I'm close to visiting the shop today and buying some beers just to take the edge off.

Thank you all for reading

Charlie117926

Runner:

I know exactly what you are talking about with boredom. When I finally decided to try sobriety, I failed miserably. One of my problems was boredom. So I thought if I just stay busy all of the time, problem solved right? Wrong. My plan of 24/7 busyness wasn't solving the root of my problem.

Someone posted on one of my threads and it simply stated "you have to want to stay sober more than you want to drink" (paraphrasing.) That statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I was just trying to ignore my problem instead of dealing with it head on. You can only stay busy for so long. It has taken me since January of this year (first time at sobriety) to figure that out.

I am only on day 4, but I can say that my simple plan is to want sobriety more than being a drunk. It has not been easy, but so far so good.

One other poster stated to me to treat my sobriety like an experiment (thanks to the poster named doubledragons.) In other words, experiment with sobriety. It was a simple statement by changing the way I thought about staying sober. So far it has been a great help. Lean on SR as much as you can. This place is great help for those who seek it.

doggonecarl

What a lot of newcomers call "boredom" is, I think, really discontentment with sobriety. Why do I say that? Well, drinking isn't an activity, so why does it make the boredom go away? What it takes away is the low-level anxiety and withdrawals of early recovery.

You say you want to "...settle down at night with a bottle of my choice and listen to music." Why not just listen to music? That's an activity. Why the bottle? Again, because we aren't trying to resolve boredom, we are giving in to the mind's addiction to alcohol.

ForgetfulKevin

Hmm, one possibility would be to listen to music lying down and leave the drinking out of it.

I certainly know what you mean about internet addiction coming in to fill the void, but all I can offer is to be aware of it and ration it somehow (e.g., with a browser timer plugin or by keeping a real clock next to the computer) and scheduling your free time with some other activities/pastimes.

Hoping someone has better suggestions than these!

Spectered

My biggest drinking trigger was also boredom and led to several failed attempts. In my earlier recovery, exercise was a very fine line - just enough helped with the withdrawal symptoms, but overdoing it made me crave alcohol more than if I didn't exercise at all.

If what you're doing is making you physically exhausted, it might be a good idea to cut back on the exercise for a while. Also, keeping your mind occupied with an activity you enjoy is very important. I find reading novels helps a lot since you can get lost in the book and not be thinking about alcohol. Best of luck!!

PurpleKnight

Day 8 is early days, your life isn't going to be revolutionised in a week, there is no harm in sitting on the internet, I did for the first few weeks, if not months, just to get some Sober time under my belt, to create a solid foundation to move forward with!!

My energy then slowly came back and I could then look at other activities!!

I think as alcoholics we like the quick fix, Sobriety unfortunately is going to take time, so dig deep in these first few weeks, Rome wasn't built in a day as they say, hang in there!!

KateL

Boredom is a huge trigger. Keep on movin' xxx

aborkie

The habit of sobriety hasn't replaced the habit of drinking. It takes a little while.

Choobie

I'm an energetic sort myself, and it takes me awhile to wind down at night. I found that baths, hot tea, music, stretching, playing an instrument, reading, slow walks, watching documentaries and Internet surfing all help calm me down. I relax best when my mind is slightly occupied

Dee74

Some excellent advice here

I think the trick is too find new ways to settle down, relax and unwind.

I amazed myself by discovering it is possible to do those things without involving alcohol or drugs

D

Buggirl

I am finding out new stuff, getting motivated with life again! Just done day 19 and as I said the other day, once past day 13 it was easier. You can do this. Just do stuff you have never got around to doing because you were too drunk! All the best with really early days x

Nonsensical

I learned at a very young age not to tell my Grandmother I was bored. She would say, "Oh, good, you're just the fella I am looking for. Grab a rag, my baseboards need cleaning!"

We found stuff to do at Grandma's.

Go find stuff to do.

Jimboagust

I spent quite a bit of money on booze. I consciously put aside the money I usually spent on alcohol and in a couple of months I had enough saved up to buy a Playstation 4. It's helped quite a bit with the boredom factor. I only play it for about half an hour to an hour a day but it's a nice way to get out of your head for a bit.

Also, I quite agree with what doggonecarl said regarding the fact that the "boredom" in question is probably mixed in with some strong cravings. When you're sober you can actually engage fully in whatever activity you are enjoying (like listening to music). You just need to get into the groove of doing these things in a fully attentive, focused manner, which can definitely take some time. I've actually had to relearn how to watch movies since I quit drinking. One of my favorite things to do was to put on a film and have a half dozen (to a dozen) drinks. I'm increasingly realizing this had absolutely nothing to do with cinephilia and everything to do with alcoholism.

instant

8 days is early. Getting my life back was a journey, it has different stages.

I get a sense you "feel" things should not be the way they are for you now.

Getting sober taught me a lot- basically learning to deal with "me".

At first I got addicted to SR and "recovery" reading. it's not a bad thing- things evolve as as you grow and recover. The daily practice of gratitude really helped (the effect does not "kick in" for 30 days).

Hope you find your way

RunnerBean

Just wanted to thank everyone for reading and replying