I may be Over-reacting a bit
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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I may be Over-reacting a bit
My wedding is less than 3 weeks away and honestly during some of the planning, there have been some tough moments. Relationships have become strained and feelings have been hurt.
Last Saturday I was invited by my well-intentioned brother to come over to our mutual friend's house. He is also the DJ. My brother thought it would be nice for all of us to spend some time together.
Our mutual friend/DJ's wife, who never did like me, reacted in horror when she found out. She said she didn't want me there because she didn't want anyone to talk about my wedding.
Ok, fine no big deal right? But, what hurt me the most was that they all lied to me and that my other brother and a few other friends did not defend me and also reacted in disgust at the idea of my presence being there.
My other brother called me and lied to me telling me that they were done having dinner and he would meet up with me after. I knew then he was lying and had no intention of meeting up with me. My assessments were correct and he did not meet up with me. His reasoning was because he did not realize how much longer the dinner would last.. I did.
I rarely see these folks and as a result don't really talk wedding stuff with them. The few times I have was because our DJ's wife has inquired about it.
I am not sure exactly why this is hurting my feelings so much but it is. Maybe because I feel rejected or maybe because I want to be liked so badly. Or maybe its because I held some of the folks over there in such a high regard and found out the feeling is not mutual.
In either case, its making me want to drink so bad so I don't have to feel this way anymore. I want to try and confront my other brother and tell him how I feel but there really is no point. Its not like he will return my call. Why I am letting this get to me so much right now is beyond me but right now all I can think about is alcohol and how quickly I can kill these feelings I am having.
Instead, I thought I'd reach out to you guys because I know no one will judge my irrational thoughts/behaviors and its better than hitting the bottle.
Last Saturday I was invited by my well-intentioned brother to come over to our mutual friend's house. He is also the DJ. My brother thought it would be nice for all of us to spend some time together.
Our mutual friend/DJ's wife, who never did like me, reacted in horror when she found out. She said she didn't want me there because she didn't want anyone to talk about my wedding.
Ok, fine no big deal right? But, what hurt me the most was that they all lied to me and that my other brother and a few other friends did not defend me and also reacted in disgust at the idea of my presence being there.
My other brother called me and lied to me telling me that they were done having dinner and he would meet up with me after. I knew then he was lying and had no intention of meeting up with me. My assessments were correct and he did not meet up with me. His reasoning was because he did not realize how much longer the dinner would last.. I did.
I rarely see these folks and as a result don't really talk wedding stuff with them. The few times I have was because our DJ's wife has inquired about it.
I am not sure exactly why this is hurting my feelings so much but it is. Maybe because I feel rejected or maybe because I want to be liked so badly. Or maybe its because I held some of the folks over there in such a high regard and found out the feeling is not mutual.
In either case, its making me want to drink so bad so I don't have to feel this way anymore. I want to try and confront my other brother and tell him how I feel but there really is no point. Its not like he will return my call. Why I am letting this get to me so much right now is beyond me but right now all I can think about is alcohol and how quickly I can kill these feelings I am having.
Instead, I thought I'd reach out to you guys because I know no one will judge my irrational thoughts/behaviors and its better than hitting the bottle.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
not exactly the same circumstances -- but
Originally Posted by newhope01 
I am not sure exactly why this is hurting my feelings so much but it is..
this may be a touchy time for your sobriety
once I had 3 years sober and attended a wedding
I felt stressed at the wedding (not sure why now)
I drank at the wedding
I should have stepped out for a short break
didn't have good sober tools at the time
try to relax and count your blessings
get your sober tool belt in order
M-Bob
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Its 12:35AM where I am at and I just cant stop this uncontrollable sadness. I am trying to not cry but I seem to be sobbing anyway.
This wedding stuff is becoming so painful to deal with. How can I have my brother stand with me and sit at my table after all this crap?
At least I didn't drink over it.
This wedding stuff is becoming so painful to deal with. How can I have my brother stand with me and sit at my table after all this crap?
At least I didn't drink over it.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Our mutual friend/DJ's wife, who never did like me, reacted in horror when she found out. She said she didn't want me there because she didn't want anyone to talk about my wedding.
what hurt me the most was that they all lied to me and that my other brother and a few other friends did not defend me and also reacted in disgust at the idea of my presence being there.
I realize I don't know you, or your situation, but my gut reaction is this: Men are not this into their OWN wedding. I really have a hard time believing he is this much into yours, positively or negatively.
I think a large part of this is you PROJECTING what you feel is going on.
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I hope that I am not coming off as a bridezilla as that was not my intention. I just felt bad my brother lied to me and my presence was unwelcomed. I felt bad when I was in transit that the invitation was revoked and it was never meant to be provided originally.
Maybe my brother wasn't as upset about me possibly talking about a wedding as much as his g/f and the DJ's wife, but he didn't object and then proceeded to lie to me. Which unfortunately is not the first time he has disregarded my feelings.
I suddenly feel very silly for venting about all this junk. I guess I need to get over myself and stop being so sensitive.
Maybe my brother wasn't as upset about me possibly talking about a wedding as much as his g/f and the DJ's wife, but he didn't object and then proceeded to lie to me. Which unfortunately is not the first time he has disregarded my feelings.
I suddenly feel very silly for venting about all this junk. I guess I need to get over myself and stop being so sensitive.
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