Venecia

Hi, Johnny. I remember you from our class and it is nice to see you back. I recall you made some thoughtful posts. Have you been working on your photography these days? Along with exercise, I have found it to be one of the most helpful ways to support my recovery.

I write the following guardedly and with only the best of wishes: Nothing changes when nothing changes.

Several things you described are familiar for many of us here on SR. Feelings of worthlessness, awareness of the fact that we're no longer "young" (by some definitions), absence of a love life. And I hear you about winter -- where I live, it is long and often unrelenting.

But you also have opportunities. AA, an exercise club, SR. And the chance to re-enter an inpatient program, from which you could benefit. I'll be frank. The references to state insurance began to sound a little entitled.

You're insured, which has been beyond the reach of many. So what if it's state insurance and not the kind that will provide Club Med, celebrity rehab luxuries? If you have to watch VHS tapes and listen to HIV prevention information (which many people need), is it really that big of a deal? You have the chance to get better.

Getting sober is really hard work. If you go into inpatient, you'll get out of it what you put into it.

And what you get out of it could be a lifetime of sobriety and opportunity. I think you deserve that.

Take care, friend. 44 is still young and you can define what you want the rest of your life to look like.

Seize the day.