Meraviglioso

Well, the guests I thought were coming over tonight are not in fact coming, which is less stress for me. However, my boyfriend is coming over and I have 3 bottles of wine in the house that I bought today for the dinner guests. I know I could easily not tell my boyfriend of my latest plan to not drink and just go ahead and open one...... But I don't want to. I'm almost through day two and need to get to day three and day four and one week and one month and one year and forever and I'll never get there if I drink tonight. I cannot believe how I can be so happy and secure and positive one minute and then it just creeps in, I think, ah, screw it, I'll just have a glass to relax. I'm feeling so frustrated but determined to fight through this. I know I am so new here and have been kind of over posting, but I am really trying this time, really tryng anything.

ScottFromWI

Coming here to post was absolutely the right thing do to, don't worry about "overposting" by any means. How about this - just dump out the wine or give it away.

You said a couple of days ago that one of your big motivators was your boys - do you think saying "ah screw it, I'll just have a glass to relax" would be setting a good example for them? Especially when you know that it will NOT be just one glass - you'll probably end up all of it and REALLY feeling bad tomorrow.

Boudicca

Well done on your decision to stop. You can do it!
How about giving the bottles to a neighbor or friend? I don't want to suggest you pour them out......although that is certainly an option. I can tell you that the first few weeks after I quit I simply would not have been successful had I had any alcohol in the house. I wouldn't have been able to resist.

Is there any way you could share your feelings with your boyfriend? Will he be supportive of your desire to quit? Alcoholics hide so much, we have so many secrets.....we need to expose them so we can get better. I can also share that I would not have been able to quit without including my significant other.....I need his support.

I hope everything goes well for you. Keep posting here and let us know how you are doing.

Windancer

I have been there and felt exactly as you have felt. I would be honest with your bf or I think you are setting yourself up for failure. Also, I know that I myself, would have a HELL of a time not drinking if I was entertaining on day 2 and my guests were drinking wine, especially alcohol that I supplied for them. Just a thought....
If I were you, Id get rid of the wine ASAP. Give it to someone else, or pour it down the drain. Yes, hard I know..the alcoholic mind screams at you all the excuses and reasons not too, but imagine the relief and pride you will have once it is gone.
I think the bf HAS to be on board with this if you are going to be successful.
Best of luck to you! Be strong Posting on here and doing something hasty is MUCH better than the alternative.

PurpleKnight

No such thing as "overposting"

You can do this, keep pushing through!!

ultradad

Thanks for sharing, that's what helps us all get through days like that! Couple of options, don't open the bottle. Pour the bottles out (my favorite). And tell your boyfriend that you've decided to stop drinking. Letting others know that you're stopping helps with accountability and usually they'll understand and not tempt you!

Be strong! You got this!

soberclover

I agree with no such thing as overposting and I also agree with get rid of the wine. It has been really essential for my sobriety that my home is an alcohol free home.

Meraviglioso

He is supportive if I want to stop, he knows I have a problem, but he doesn't physically restrain me and prevent me from drinking. He treats me as a fellow adult who makes her own decisions and mistakes. I know if I didn't tell him that I am trying to quit.... again (god he has heard that line so many times) he wouldn't physically prevent me from drinking. I am embarrassed to tell him I am quitting again because I know he won't believe me. I have to get through it and prove it with my actions, my words are meaningless at this point. He is a great man, so healthy and normal, I have no idea why he puts up with me sometimes. I'm a bit better now. I gave the kids a bath which was surprise surprise, so much easier sober! I've got a soda water now and think I will go enjoy my new outdoor couch from Ikea that my mom bought me when she was visiting! What a treat it has been to have that!

NoJimmy

Perhaps the guests not showing is a blessing. Social gatherings which involve drinking can be very dangerous in early sobriety.
When I decided to quit I told everyone close to me my plans, I needed the accountability and the support. Besides, it's exhausting to keep making excuses why you're not drinking.

I wouldn't be shy about posting

doggonecarl

In an earlier post today, about the dinner party, you wrote:

"...which I will be hosting at my house and will need to offer wine at."

The word, "need" stood out and I was going to comment on that, about "needing" wine, but didn't. Now the party is a scratch. You don't need the wine, right? But the voice in your head will convince you otherwise. So be strong. I say dump it...in front of your boyfriend. A statement you can make, an action he can see.

Gilmer

That's a good idea.

If you can't bring yourself to waste the money, run up and down the block till you find someone to take it off your hands.

Once I was able to return a bottle of wine to the supermarket I bought it from. Try it! I got my money back!

JD4010

Place it on the curb with a sign that reads, "Free Wine!". A few weeks ago, I would have happened by and grabbed those bottles without even thinking.

Meraviglioso

haha! I like that idea. I'm actually terrified to open it to dump it. Right next to my house (this being Italy and all...) is a statue of the madonna with an alter that random people stop to pray at or bring flowers, light candles. I could go put them there as an offering! I think what I am going to do is get through tonight saying I don't want to drink. My boyfriend will be supportive and also not drink so the wine won't be opened. Then when he leaves I'll ask him to take it with him. Thank you everyone. I can say with 100% security, your words stopped me from making a mistake tonight.

dwtbd

SR is great support, and yeah no such thing as overposting

But don't sell yourself short, you are doing it! Good on you !

Serenidad

Good job telling on yourself! I did that this morning and haven't had another thought of drinking since. You can do it!

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Meraviglioso

I did it! Another sober day for me and a really enjoyable dinner without wine! Off to bed feeling happy and proud. I just hope I get some sleep, sleeping sober seems to be rough right now. Thanks again everyone, your support means more than I could put into words.

ReadyAtLast

Well done on another sober day.

For me I had to avoid dinner parties, events etc in the very early days. You do have this choice and can say no to invites. Your bf sounds like a decent, supportive sort which is great. I think being honest is the best thing and following it up with actions so he will see you are serious about sobriety. It is the best gift you can give yourself and your children

Dee74

I'm really glad Meraviglioso...you should be too

D

Serenidad

Great job!!!!!!!!!

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Nuudawn

I love this idea (as well as the "Free Wine" curbside idea lol). But with respect to the Madonna offering...I couldn't help but see some YouTube video in my mind's eye of folks attending the altar...seeing the wine...and wondering what to do? Is it for her? Am I to bring offerings? Should I take it? Would they look around to see if anyone was watching? Oh gosh..makes me chuckle to think.

What did you do with the wine?