ForgetfulKevin

I chose to drink again yesterday, after 54 sober days. I don't regret it -- it was worth the experience, especially in contrast to that recent stretch of sobriety.

I do not wish to resume my previous drinking habits. It feels like alcohol would drag me under if I did. There are other things I would rather do than drink.

Today I am recommitting to a sober life.

Thank you all for your contributions to SR, which are a big help to me.

awholenewlife52

Hey Kevin, I'm glad you've jumped back on with us.

Well done on the 54 days you had before that. That proves that you can do this.

trachemys

And I'd say that was a learning experience that was worth it.

afloatsober

Hold yer head up and back on the horse buddy.
Did it myself a good few times before it stuck...
Welcome back!
G

PurpleKnight

You can do this Kevin!!

biminiblue

Looking forward, never back.

Glad you didn't fall in the bottle for a long time.

Happy Day One!

SoberHoopsFan

Glad to see you're jumping back on board man, you still did those 54 days, use what you learned and make sure you don't slip again. You can do this!

I'm guessing it wasn't as "fun" as you were hoping? I feel at this point I've come so far that drinking would never truly be "fun" for me again as I would be racked with so much guilt over returning to a life that I had grown so sick of. But I appreciate reading your post as well (I'm on day 53) as a reminder for me to stay vigilant and keep working my recovery.

Aellyce

Hi Kevin, good to see you back on track fast. I believe you've learned something from this slip. Perhaps you need to expand your recovery toolkit a little? I hope you are well. Keep at it, will get better with time and effort!

Jackandbess2

Perhaps you could help those of us who are tempted to have just that one glass after a fair while of sobriety. Was it worth it, you said you had no regrets? If it was so worth it why did you go straight back to your commitment of sobriety, why not go on a bender? Which do you prefer, to be drinking or to be sober and why?

ccam1973

Good luck Kevin. Glad you came right back to your commitment. Those 54 days aren't lost and now you know what you have to do...

ElleDee

Hi Kevin... Glad that you are back on track.
You're right about alcohol (slowly) dragging us under.

jryan19982

Like my dad always says, you dont know success until you fail. Good luck, I just started anew...

ForgetfulKevin

I think there is some ambiguity in how I wrote that. What I meant was that it was worthwhile for me to have and observe that experience in light of my recent sobriety.

I'm not recommending this to anyone else. I should add that when I chose to drink, I was not planning to have just one or two, but the usual amount from my drinking days ("my fill"), which I did. Luckily I did not go out for more later in the evening.

Having compared and contrasted the drunk and sober states, I prefer to be sober. As for why, it's a matter of taste, not reason.

Hoping that helps!

Hevyn

Glad you chose to stop again Kevin. We know you can do it.

charleesavedme

Kevin, I'm glad you came back and that you prefer your life sober. Hope to "see" you on the Weekenders thread.

soberjuly

One day after 54 and you come right back here the next day...that's great!

Dee74

I'm glad you're back Kevin

what made you choose to drink?

D

Verte

Hey Kevin,

The Whee!kend and Weasel's Weekender Thread just would not be the same without you there Make sure you check in tomorrow as soon as the afternoon draws near. We all care about your journey here.

ForgetfulKevin

Dee, thank you for that much.

Something I wish I had done differently would have been to give myself more time to process this experience on my own before sharing, or just to have documented it for myself in a private blog post.

I feel like I lost something I was processing by allowing myself to be distracted by some of the questions in this thread as well as my anger about that distraction.

Oh well. What's done is done. So, now I know!

ForgetfulKevin

Sorry to bump this but I wanted to follow up to say I regret having started this thread.

I'm not sure what I was thinking when I "chose to drink" last week (other than "I can drink and I will"), or what I hoped to accomplish by posting about it the next day.

Looking back, it seems a little cocky and "tra-la-la" to me, as if I was confidently testing the waters to confirm my decision in favor of sobriety, or something like that. I'm not sure it makes sense to me.

Today it looks really irresponsible, on a forum where there are many struggling people who cannot afford to "test the water" even once. Please accept my apologies for that.

I do appreciate the questions that were asked (seeds planted and germinating), and of course the encouragement.

I should keep in mind that there must have been some convincing reasons/intuitions that led me to quit drinking (again) and join SR two months ago.