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My life is so dang boring!

Old 07-23-2014, 07:08 AM
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Oh, and I volunteered at the shelter in the cat area for four years.

1.) I was the first one there in the morning. Buy a gas mask.
2.) Before you know it you'll be fostering - and if you're at all like me, you'll get litters of kittens, because...kittens.
3.) I kept keeping cats. Not a sustainable practice. I'm back to two now, thank God.
4.) Be prepared for a lot of heartbreak. I consoled myself with the fact that I was doing what I could to help the ones I could.
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Old 07-23-2014, 07:09 AM
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I feel restless a lot. It is my primary source of discontent. I can't just "be". I have this compulsion to "do". It is frustrating. Sometimes I try to just sit without doing but then I see something that needs doing. Maybe meditation or yoga might help? I'm writing this as much for me this time.
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Old 07-23-2014, 07:17 AM
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I second the motion of joining the mile high club
LOL

no, but seriously....there's so many things to try and do. Someone mentioned, you aren't in prison. I know, even after only 6 weekends locked up...I am going to make the most of the ones I get when the damned things are done. whole new perspective on that front!
The volunteering sounds like a GREAT idea and cats are awesome. Go for it!!!
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Old 07-23-2014, 07:18 AM
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Zephyrhills and Deland. I started jumping in Indiantown, FL. Back in those days it was the only place in the US where a first jumper did a freefall, so I've never even done a static line jump.

I was a little trampy in those days, I lived with the owner of ZHillz for a while, then one of the pilots. It was a great time of my life - so. many. stories. So many drugs. Ugh. Florida was a hotbed of cocaine and weed back in the 70s. It was especially pronounced at a parachute center with big empty C47s and extra fuel tanks, if you get my drift. I jumped on a womens' team based in Deland and we went to the Nationals and did really well. It was so much fun. But I'm sure you hear enough stories

See, I wouldn't look at it as a groupie situation. I never had those thoughts about the women who hung out at the dropzone. There are fifty men for every woman skydiver, so I was really glad to have other women there with whom to talk. They were just being involved in their husbands' lives. Whatever, of course you can find plenty to do in other ways.

The feelings you are having will pass. I'm at five months now and feel a lot more balanced: I'll take it over the drama and crazy of drinking days. I agree with meditation, too. It really helps me slow down my speedy brain.
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Old 07-23-2014, 07:40 AM
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I have been experiencing the same feelings lately even though I have things that I am interested in and can do. It's that "flat" feeling you spoke of before and then feeling like I am boring now that I don't drink.

I attribute it to growing pains as we get comfortable with ourselves, finding out who we really are and what we truly enjoy. As some others have mentioned, exercise is key in keeping the depression at bay while you figure things out. You may not feel like it right now, but it does help....even if just a little each day.

This part isn't too fun, but I have to believe we won't be in this valley forever if we attempt to keep moving forward. Hang in there - one day at a time.
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Old 07-23-2014, 07:41 AM
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Im sitting here wondering what kind of
words of wisdom, experience or hope I
can share with you. What I like about
living in recovery is how whenever we
are in a rut, we never have to go thru
it alone or by ourselves.

The fellowship within recovery comes
to the rescue to help other fellow members
learn new ways how to achieve a healthier,
happier life without killing themselves with
alcohol.

I use to whin in early recovery to my
sponsor about my unhappiness, bordness,
not liking Mondays and who knows what
else. She always shared a few suggestions
or her own experiences that could and would
be helpful in my own recovery.

Reading about acceptance was and is
important. Learning to get out of my
selfish thinking was another. As an
at home mom and wife, I felt like I
didn't have much to share with others
because all those I saw in meetings
were career oriented or much older
folks than I.

Anyway....I continued to go to meetings
just listening and absorbing all I could
just so I wouldn't fall back on what I
was learning because I wanted to remain
sober no matter how I was feeling.

You'd think being a mom of 2 in school
would stay busy, which I did , and still got
bored. Well I did. Youd think being married,
Id be happy, I wanted to be, but many times
I wasn't. There was something missing.

Communication and understanding that
comes when someone is in recovery. Support
was there but everything else seemed to
fall by the waist side.

I was sober some yrs. down the way and
our kids went on to college. No one with
an addiction problem but me in recovery.
I thought my husband and I would grow
old together and yet it wasn't meant to be.

We had moved to Houston 10 yrs before
which was perfect for our kids and for him.
For me, I never wanted to leave my hometown
but did for our kids giving them more
opportunities in life, school, careers.

I was still filled with despair, loneliness
even with a little part time job. So I went
to find out about my chemical imbalance
that could be affecting my mood swings.

Finally there was relief for my emotional
and physical part of my recovery while
continueing to remain sober with my
recovery program. Eventually I returned
to my hometown which ended a 25 yr.
marriage and thru Faith, recovery, I was
blessed once again with a new marriage
and life in recovery.

Life continues on each day never knowing
what will happen next. In the meantime,
my responsibility is to remain sober, healthy,
honest in all my affairs so that I can be prepared
for whatever comes my way.

I cant always expect to be on a pink cloud,
because with age comes changes in the
body. As long as I take care of my mind,
body and soul, mentally, physically, emotionally,
and spiritually, then I can have live life to
the best of my ability, happy, joyous and free.

Im not sure if anything I share will help, so
take what you want and leave the rest as was
always told to me.
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Old 07-23-2014, 07:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Daretodream View Post
I attribute it to growing pains as we get comfortable with ourselves, finding out who we really are and what we truly enjoy. if we attempt to keep moving forward.
I think this is a huge part of it. Who the he11 am I and what things do I even enjoy?! Drinking took up so much of that time I could have spent over the years actually learning all these things about myself, my real self....now I feel I'm "stunted" almost. Which of course, leaves you restless, bored and generally BLECH.
But someone else mentioned, we can "re-invent" ourselves and I think that is an awesome way to try and look at it.

what does ElleDee want to do?
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Old 07-23-2014, 07:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Ruby2 View Post
I feel restless a lot. It is my primary source of discontent. I can't just "be". I have this compulsion to "do". It is frustrating. Sometimes I try to just sit without doing but then I see something that needs doing. Maybe meditation or yoga might help? I'm writing this as much for me this time.
You got me! That's how I am. I can't just be. I need to DO. The weekend is coming and I am without anything to DO other than the usual grocery shopping, etc. and that is not fulfilling for me. I've been wanting a scooter. I think God wants me to have one too. Yesterday I saw 2 ladies my age-ish on scooters and I think that was a sign.

I'm nuts.
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Old 07-23-2014, 08:00 AM
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Try a Harley Davidson ??
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Old 07-23-2014, 08:00 AM
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I have the anhedonia thing going--I had a rough childhood so it isn't just from drinking,
but since I've quit, it is much more obvious.

I drank to feel for a long time.

I started playing guitar again after thirty years away.
Learning a new skill is absorbing and I actually have "fun" doing it.

I also joined a Crossfit when I first stopped and got lots of endorphin rush from that.

Currently, I'm getting quite a lot of satisfaction from Yoga and meditation.
The yoga especially has put life back into many "numb zones" in my body and
made me aware of shallow breathing, tension held in the body, and so on.

Things like this haven't "cured" the anhedonia, but they have given me quite a lot
of peace and satisfaction.

The animal shelter sounds like a fantastic idea--I would certainly try that right away.
It just takes some time to build a sober life. It's a process but has been so worth it.

Give yourself plenty of credit for getting this far, and believe you can make the next step gracefully
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Old 07-23-2014, 08:05 AM
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Local colleges and community colleges offer all sorts of fun interesting classes for adults (non degree). Learn photography, web design, stained glass, cooking classes. LOTS of classes. Lots of groupons for fun things to do. I know here in my area I have gone scalloping and swam with the manatees (FL). Get a brochure and peruse to see what might interest you.
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Old 07-23-2014, 08:17 AM
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Just make sure you wear a helmet and jeans with that scooter! One of my co workers had a mishap just yesterday when he got cut off by a car. He's ok. I want a scooter too. They are fun. Maybe you can rent one this weekend?
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Old 07-23-2014, 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by ElleDee
I don't mean it's boring because I'm not drinking. I mean IT'S BORING!!!! It's not serenity, it's boring. My partner is a skydiver. He has over 3000 jumps. His life is FUN. Pretty much every weekend and many week nights (in the summer) he's jumping out of airplanes. I am home scooping cat litter, emptying garbage, thinking about what to have for lunch the next day... B O R I N G. Help me. Don't say... oh go for a walk Elle Dee or dance around your living room... or sing along to some music. NO! I don't know what to do. I'm stuck in this mode where the things I used to do (pre-drinking) don't do it for me now. Will they come back? Will I want to do those things again? I don't know. I'm resentful. Work is not fun. My life is not fun. I hate the weekends. Last night he said to me... plans for the weekend? I said NOTHING! He has plans... FUN! Me? B O R I N G!!!! I AM B O R I N G!!!!!
I know the feeling, i was TERRIBLY bored the first couple months!

What is your age?

If you are on the older side i would recommend getting yourself a World of warcraft subscription......... it's a measly $15 a month but you'll literally NEVER run out of things to do. I'm a former player, ask how i know

Other +'s:

- you can indulge from the comfort of your own home, no need to leave the house/waste gas
- again, since you can indulge privately at home...... no one even has to know
- very social game contrary to popular belief, there's always people to talk to or guild activities to participate in....... a good headset/microphone is recommended for real-time chatting
- very team-work oriented game, adding to the social aspect
- will give you "goals" and "goodies" to chase after, even if they're only virtual
- real time-waster........ time FLIES,you'll notice that to get anything done you need to put in like minimum 2 hours per session

The -'s:

- real time-waster (i guess not really a con if you are in that "terribly bored" state)

Regarding the ridiculous but commonly-held belief of "only little kids play video games": this is patently false, in fact in the last 3 guilds i was a part of the youngest players we had were in the 18-21 bracket - kids in college. 70%+ of our good/relevant players were all working adults including an engineer, a cop, a business owner, a college professor, a stock trader, just to name a few. Really diverse group of people on there. Yes...... there are "annoying" little kids as well, but if you only hang out with good/quality people you won't even notice them that much.

Just thought i would throw that idea out there, when i am older/my youth is behind me and if WoW is still around...... i'll probably come back Low-risk, low-cost entertainment that i can do from home without lifting a finger - just perfect for the older years.

If you are towards the younger side of the scale, what's the problem? Try to go out more? Take up new hobbies? It's easy to try new stuff while you are young, use your imagination.

I've been taking up new hobbies the last 2 months, my boredom has tapered off considerably.

~ player from 2006 to 2009-ish

EDIT: i noticed you live in WI, that must be tough....... that state is one of the "alcohol central" states
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:07 AM
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I can relate, very much so. I feel stuck in the doldrums. There are things I used to really, really enjoy doing like writing music. I used to spend hours, sometimes all day, doing that and felt so inspired by it. Now I have an expensive keyboard just sitting in my living room that I haven't touched in months, except to dust it off. I want to get back to it but don't feel motivated. It sucks! Added to the boredom is sometimes intense anxiety that feels like its sucking the life right out of me. When I drank, I just didn't give a damn. I'd numb out and feel content to dream about the things I could do. I'd have delusions of grandeur then. I could accomplish anything and be the best! I got very good at being a drunk dreamer. I'm with you. I hope it passes but I have a feeling I'm going to have to help it along. I'm going to have to make myself DO something.
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:09 AM
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ElleDee, try scuba diving, or learn to fly an airplane, rootin for ya.
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:13 AM
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learn a new language?
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:15 AM
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GetMeOut... It's the DOING part. LOL!!! I know that. I also really appreciate everyone's responses here, including the video game suggestion by Grubby. Man I haven't played video games since we bought an Atari in the early 80's. Frogger was one of my faves. LOL!!! Anyway... for now I'm going to just "be" and hope it passes.
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:16 AM
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working on getting comfortable in the Uncomfortable I suppose is part of our process.
stay tough Elle!!
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:20 AM
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This is EXACTLY how I've been feeling the last couple days. The mornings are fine, but the afternoons and evenings feel never ending. I am going on a hike with my kids in a little while, wish I could say I was excited about it lol. I think the bored feeling will get better with time, and once we get used to doing things without drinking
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:43 AM
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Originally Posted by ElleDee
GetMeOut... It's the DOING part. LOL!!! I know that. I also really appreciate everyone's responses here, including the video game suggestion by Grubby. Man I haven't played video games since we bought an Atari in the early 80's. Frogger was one of my faves. LOL!!! Anyway... for now I'm going to just "be" and hope it passes.
Give it a try, it's good fun

A decent computer, hooked up to a big TV, with a headset and your Wow buddies...... good times. Regular computer screen works fine too, but i like using a big screen - "bigger is better" and all that. That game......... it will suck you in.

Yes, there's girls who play as well...... you'd be surprised.
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