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My life is so dang boring!

Old 07-23-2014, 06:09 AM
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My life is so dang boring!

I don't mean it's boring because I'm not drinking. I mean IT'S BORING!!!! It's not serenity, it's boring. My partner is a skydiver. He has over 3000 jumps. His life is FUN. Pretty much every weekend and many week nights (in the summer) he's jumping out of airplanes. I am home scooping cat litter, emptying garbage, thinking about what to have for lunch the next day... B O R I N G. Help me. Don't say... oh go for a walk Elle Dee or dance around your living room... or sing along to some music. NO! I don't know what to do. I'm stuck in this mode where the things I used to do (pre-drinking) don't do it for me now. Will they come back? Will I want to do those things again? I don't know. I'm resentful. Work is not fun. My life is not fun. I hate the weekends. Last night he said to me... plans for the weekend? I said NOTHING! He has plans... FUN! Me? B O R I N G!!!! I AM B O R I N G!!!!!
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:11 AM
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What is preventing you from making a plan?
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:12 AM
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What's stopping you from skydiving? Or picking up some other hobbies? I tell ya, when I drink, my life gets boring. All I do is sit at home, drink, and watch sports on TV. At least now that I've quit I have a fighting chance of doing some fun stuff haha
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:13 AM
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Go jump, Elle.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:15 AM
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When I first quit drinking the days seemed so long. Before I quit the evenings were a fuzzy blur. I was in a brace and could not drive. Pretty much I had a computer, tv, and lots of books and I could walk in the woods. As the days went by, it started to get more interesting. Now, I am so busy, I wonder if I have time to even check in here. Life gets better. Your mind and body need time to heal. Make some plans, go to a movie, the library or whatever you enjoy. It will get better.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:16 AM
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Originally Posted by trachemys View Post
Go jump, Elle.
Or join the "mile high club" before he jumps.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:18 AM
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
Or join the "mile high club" before he jumps.
Hahahah. Excellent plan
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:19 AM
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Thanks everyone. I am not a skydiver. I did it once and it was great but it's not my thing. I am just STUCK. I am a glass artist when I'm not at work but for a while now it's been a struggle. It's not my way of making a living... it's a hobby that brings in a little cash sometimes. I am just at this point where I feel kinda lost. I have no friends with the same interests... I don't know. I got used to alcohol being my friend and now that's gone too. I am just feeling disconnected from the things I used to enjoy. Maybe I'm depressed? Not sure.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:25 AM
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Originally Posted by ElleDee View Post
I got used to alcohol being my friend and now that's gone too. I am just feeling disconnected from the things I used to enjoy. Maybe I'm depressed? Not sure.
When I stopped drinking I literally felt like I lost my best friend when I lost the alcohol.

It's no uncommon for us to go thru the grieving process, I know I certainly did.

You will get thru this and it will get better, you will see. This too shall pass.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:30 AM
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Anhedonia - Inability to Experience Pleasure | Alcohol Rehab

Symptoms of Anhedonia
Simply put, anhedonia is the inability to experience pleasure from any activities which would typically be found enjoyable. A sufferer cannot feel joy, happiness or any other positive emotions normally found through hobbies, physical exercise, social gatherings and sexual activity. Those with anhedonia have unchanging moods and will feel emotionally empty regardless of what is happening around them.
Anhedonia and Alcohol

Studies have found that those who abruptly abstain from drinking will have a high chance of experiencing protracted periods of withdrawal in which they can suffer from anhedonia. This disorder is directly linked to the withdrawal process and should be treated, along with any other physical or mental symptoms, in order to successfully free a patient from their addiction.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:35 AM
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Originally Posted by ElleDee View Post
Help me. Don't say... oh go for a walk Elle Dee or dance around your living room... or sing along to some music. NO! I don't know what to do.
And neither do we. How can we help?

I don't know what the difference was between your life now and your life when you were drinking. But if the only difference was alcohol, then your life was boring then too, but you were too drunk to care.

You are not in prison. You have your health. You have the freedom to do absolutely anything you want to do to alleviate your boredom.

Or you can do nothing. Your call.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:39 AM
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That's me. So there must be hope.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:40 AM
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I found that when I quit things didn't seem exciting either. I got bored as the things that used to hold my attention when I drank didn't do it for me anymore. I almost never read or watch television anymore. I am finding lately that I am getting glimmers of fun and non boring times but it has taken a while. You will find a groove. Make a promise to yourself to make plans for this weekend. Try something different that doesn't involve scooping cat litter which I agree is a thankless chore and not exciting since I have two cats.

I get stuck in a rut. And it's boring. Maybe you are a little depressed. Sometimes we are crippled by the enormous number of choices of things to do to not be bored and then don't do anything. Start small and start manageable. Sky diving doesn't sound like my idea of fun but I imagine it isn't boring. I look at my six year old daughter who can entertain herself with a stick and a plain paper bag. And then my son who is eight and needs constant entertainment. I try to be the kid with the stick and brown paper bag

As I wrote earlier, you will find a different groove. when you were drinking it was go go go. You quit and it's like screeching to a halt and turning on a dime. It takes a bit to get momentum going in a different direction. It will come with a little practice and patience.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:44 AM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
And neither do we. How can we help?

I don't know what the difference was between your life now and your life when you were drinking. But if the only difference was alcohol, then your life was boring then too, but you were too drunk to care.

You are not in prison. You have your health. You have the freedom to do absolutely anything you want to do to alleviate your boredom.

Or you can do nothing. Your call.
Whatever.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:45 AM
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Yeah, I guess I had to face the fact I only had one central thing in my life. Now THAT is boring.

But you are dead right, that's what it feels like, boring.

Hollow, that's how I felt.

And sad. Cos I knew I didn't want to drink, but I didn't want to FEEL this huge gap of time I had to fill with....what?

That's exactly what you have to go through. Realising what a huge part of your life alcohol filled with empty promises. And no, alcohol wasn't that exciting - oh dear, what to do next?

Walking DOES get endorphins going, and gets you out of the house. Try it every day for 4 - 6 weeks, then tell me it's crap. But not before.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:45 AM
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Maybe you are thinking too much about drinking.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:47 AM
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Thanks everyone. Frankly, I think that I have been restless for a while... it's just that it's like a bright light in my eyes right now because alcohol is not involved. I probably need to make a point to find something new... like some have pointed out. Not skydiving but something just NEW and different. I've been considering volunteering at a local animial shelter (I love cats in case you didn't know that already). LOL.

I am grateful to all of you.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:55 AM
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Okay, girl. Cut that out.

I was a skydiver when I was younger - in Florida. Lots of wives and girlfriends came to the dropzone and hung out for the day.

I remember at big meets (I jumped at Z-Hills, lots of meets in those days) people brought stuff to sell that was skydiving related or baked goods. I bought a lot of stuff from people at meets, even made some silk-screened tee shirts for a while and sold them myself. I love the energy at parachute centers. Maybe you could devise some glass thingamabob that is skydiving related? I dunno, just a thought. I would have bought it.

We say "take a walk or dance around your living room" because exercise is one of the best ways to fight mild depression. It releases endorphins and it really works.

So. I'm with Carl, do something!
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Old 07-23-2014, 07:04 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Okay, girl. Cut that out.

I was a skydiver when I was younger - in Florida. Lots of wives and girlfriends came to the dropzone and hung out for the day.

I remember at big meets (I jumped at Z-Hills, lots of meets in those days) people brought stuff to sell that was skydiving related or baked goods. I bought a lot of stuff from people at meets, even made some silk-screened tee shirts for a while and sold them myself. I love the energy at parachute centers. Maybe you could devise some glass thingamabob that is skydiving related? I dunno, just a thought. I would have bought it.

We say "take a walk or dance around your living room" because exercise is one of the best ways to fight mild depression. It releases endorphins and it really works.

So. I'm with Carl, do something!
Get out! Zephyr Hills! I was there. Sorry but being a DZ groupie is more boring that scooping cat litter. It's like asking my skydiving husband to sit around and watch me cut glass. LOL

Seriously... I get the point. I just haven't found the THING to lift me out of what's going on right now. Just saying "DO SOMETHING" is a joke. That's pretty obvious. I am just having some difficulty understanding. Maybe it is mild depression.
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Old 07-23-2014, 07:07 AM
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I agree with exercise helping tremendously. I love fitness, of all kinds, but if you are not into it just try it. It gets endorphins running, and sets the mood for your whole day. I guarantee if you wake up and throw on your running shoes and get outside for an hour, you will feel so much more positive about your whole day. I recommend weight
Training at the gym as well. You will be around people, and when you start to see results you will feel amazing. Works for me! It couldn't hurt to try.
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