petals

feeling stupid.......... gave in last night to av....... feeling very disappointed with my self................ sorry to let you guys down again.
am going to try not to wallow but write another plan as the last one didnt work...well i shouldnt blame the plan it was all my fault.
so the journey begins again at day 1.

IOAA2

An expression that helped me was “KEEP COMING.”

BE WELL

Nonsensical

Welcome back. Glad you made it back. Not everyone does after picking up the drink again.

I reworked my plan several times. Added stuff, deleted stuff. Getting my sober living plan right for me was the most personal thing I've ever done. And quite possibly the most important. Stick with it. Change is possible, therefore hope is reasonable.

You can do this.

petals

struggling with my plan..... just want to run away and hide from everything. i know that wont help and of course i wont do it but im just to very tired of everything i feel constantly exhausted and just want to sleep... not an option as i have insomnia.sorry to moan, point to self try and find some poitivity........

HeadLump

I absolutely believe in the power of people to change. If I didn't, I would have given up on myself a long, long time ago.

Nonsensical is right - you CAN do this, petals. Pick up those sober needles and knit yourself a new (and happy) future

Nonsensical

For persistent users the effects of alcohol endure long after the buzz and hangover wear off. Google "anhedonia and addiction" for more information.

Don't underestimate your capacity to feel better. It will happen.

Mountainmanbob

keep trying
if given yet another chance
we never give up

helps if we make a (firm) decision

and load up heavy our sober tool belt

MM

instant

Just give it another go. The first couple of weeks can be unpleasant-it gets better.

I'm sober three years- I remember the buzz, I feared being sober "forever"- after I got sober that fear wasn't there.

I'm not going back- sober is better

trachemys

petals, put us in your plan

When you feel yourself slipping, come in here and yell "HELP!"

We're here. We'll try to talk you down.

ultradad

Glad you made it back! Have you considered a 12 step program as part of your plan? For me personally AA has saved my life. Having a place to go and friends to call in recovery makes a world of difference when hard times come. Pulling for you!

petals

thanks guys, part of my trouble is i like to do things on my own.... i feel the only person responsible for me and my mess is me so i should be able to sort myself out.
would i be able to ask on here for some suggestions on how to come up with my plan or is that not allowed? sorry i dont mean to offend or be nosey.
i have considered 12 steps, ultradad, but at the moment do not feel its for me.
i really need to keep on here at times of struggle you are right trachemys.

Foolsgold186

Hi Petals,

Dont beat yourself up it happened, now just let it go. One thing I was told was be kind to myself, the feelings of guilt lessens when you are able to do that.

I felt the same in regard to doing it on my own and it just didnt work. You need support whether it be on here, AA or other avenues.

Today is a new exciting day - your life can begin again.

Wishing you every ounce of luck on your journey.

L x

Mizzuno

You have not let the forum down. You can learn from this and move on. Its a new day and different decisions can be made. Keep your head up Petals!

PurpleKnight

Go at it again, tweak the plan and you'll get there!!

ForgetfulKevin

Petals, it's great that you are trying again!

Also, that you are not trying to quit completely on your own.

Keep collecting and practicing skills and strategies to deal with the AV, boredom, loneliness, stress, etc.

Eat well and get your rest, even if that means lying down and listening to nice music when you can't sleep.

Wishing you well!

Deleteda

Hi petals, I honestly have had more day 1's than I can remember and from years before I found SR. Every new day 1 then relapse has taught me something and Im hoping that Ive now learned enough for this time to be my last day 1, ever! Just keep going and don't give in X

July1

Petals, we're on the same bandwagon.

Too bad I can't change my name to July9

Here's what I'm learning: 1. However many days you were sober, view your consumption pattern as a graph, extending before your sober date. For me, I had one night of drinking in the last 8 days. That's a GREAT trend for me. . . . . . . . . I'm healthier, seven days' worth, than I was on June 30. Of course, it also means another Day 1. But I'm back on my feet.

2. The conscious mind makes a decision to quit, but there are other parts of you that are lagging. Accept this for what it is. Limit your self-flagellation. The rest will catch up.

ReadyAtLast

You've done the best thing, coming back here. Try not to be despondent-focus your energies on what you're doing now to stay sober rather than worrying about the past.That's not to say don't learn from it and understand why you drank, but be positive going forward

breath

I did the groundhog day like you thousands of times. You state that you let "you guys" down; and that AA is 'not for you'.
I had to do it FOR ME, and I wasn't going to succeed doing it alone did my recovery begin. I admitted I was powerless and my life was unmanageable; realized I had to get sober for ME, and with the support of others just like ME.
SO far, that has worked for 3+ years.

...and I do it One Day At A TIme...Welcome, keep coming back. It Works!

Hevyn

It happened to me too Petals. I guess I needed further proof of what needed to be done.

Proud of you for coming back and owning what happened. You'll be back on track and feeling good again soon.