MidnightBlue

Miz, it's good that you are back and sharing your pain.

I feel your pain - my mother died of cancer, at home.

I wish I could give you a big warm hug.

Please, take care of yourself.

DoubleDragons

I am so sad and sorry for you and your sister, but selfishly, I am happy you are back to being active here at SR.

Sending prayers and peace ~~~~~~~~~~

mecanix

Hey Mizzy ,
It's nice to have you back and posting .

You'll get through this , other people have , sobriety is worthwhile .

Regards , m

Soberpotamus

Hi Mizz, glad to see you back. And my heart goes out to you right now. My grandmother died of cancer and begged for the drugs toward the end, anything to get some relief. It's understandable.

Sending you hugs, and you're doing a good thing by posting through this right now! The shock and grief are overwhelming, I know.

Just hold on...

Mizzuno

At least i was not out for that long. Its scary what i am capable of. Not too much happened but enough to get me to snap out of it and reafirm the fact that I am an Alcoholic. Thanks everyone for the responses. I do need the comfort right now in so many ways.


Waiting on the doc to call about the referall to Hospice

marie1973

Mizzuno, I understand as much as someone who can for what you are going through...I am on oncology nurse and spend a lot of my time at work with the families of those who are going through life and death with cancer.please do not hesitate to message me anytime to talk.
I'm so very sorry this is happening to your sister and the family. Her use of medications to dull the pain, both physically and emotionally is normal, and hospice is a blessing during this time. My heart goes out to you.

Kaneda8888

Hey Mizz

I am terribly sorry to hear about your sister. I cannot imagine how horrible it must be to have a sibling with a terminal disease. I am also sorry to hear about your relapse. However, I am glad that you have posted on SR and trying to regain your sobriety. It must be so tough and painful right now. All I can say is to not give up, persevere and hang in there. My prayers to you and your family.

Dee74

I'm so sorry Miz.

I watched one of my lifelong friends die a cancer ridden death a few years back. It was indescribably painful for me - but I kept thinking how much more so it must be for my friend and his young wife.

I don't know why things like this happen but I know it does us no good to destroy ourselves along with it.

I'm glad you're back, glad you're sober and very glad you're looking at therapy. Don't do this alone without help.

you've been missed Miz
D

MythOfSisyphus

I certainly can't blame her, either. It's maybe better for her. But that has nothing to do with your drinking. Where she is going you cannot- must not- follow. Getting smashed yourself won't help her or you. I don't mean to lecture because obviously you know this already. But sometimes it helps to hear someone else say it, to confirm to yourself that your inner voice is right.

Get back up and try to get back to sobriety. It really is going to save your life. We're all here for you, Mizz!

aussieblue

Prayers for you and your family Mizz . Glad your back .

DefconOne

Its funny really. We are all traveling on a swift boat to the same destination. Call the destination TOOSOONDEAD. You might have been able to afford better seats, better view, better food, even better emtertainment and company, BUT you are going to end up in the same place as me. In the end life ends up being fair in that sense.

Mizzuno

I didnt really plan all of this out very well. In fact, I didnt plan anything. Never really do. Yes, if i dont hop back onto the sober bus i will end up dead. I knew that going in and know that as i walk away fron this **** for the trillionth time. My sisters illness is not a reason to drink. My lack of coping skills took me out. I called my therapist this morning. I stopped therapy a few weeks ago but clearly i must resume. So, i may not be expressing things to clearly and I may not make much sense right now but I am here. I am sober. I plan on staying here one day at a time. Getting back to me is essential. Thank you all. I feel the support .

Mizzuno

I hear you. I know this to be the truth. Her illness has nothing to do with my drinking. I was told that i needed to actually deal with this and sit with the pain and grieve. Thats terrifying. Nontheless it has to happen. Maybe now that i am going to be sober i can deal with this. 😀

Twofish

Dear Mizzuno,
I'm so glad to see you are back..but so sorry to hear about your sister, I pray she won't suffer unnecessarily. I have missed you and always appreciated your support. So now please lean on us, your SR family? Welcome home.
TF

jdooner

At some point it turned from one day at a time and not drinking to seeking my own truth. That change really helped because now I want, no I need to learn and move forward. I think the pain you are enduring will turn to growth that will result in you doing great things. Don't let the pain bring you down. If you can overcome it you will have great things that you need to do in life.

Good luck Miz - glad to have you back with us!

360shoes

I'm so sorry Mizzuno. (((Hug)))