TimidTulip

Hello all, and a big thanks to everyone who wrote back to me on the other thread.

Taking it all on board, I became a bit unglued last night when I realised that I DON'T actually want to give up drinking, it's part of a deal with my partner and therefore, as advised, it's not going to work. I was hopeful until that point.

So last night, for whatever reason, quite unintentionally I drank only one bottle of wine, instead of my usual two. Why? Couldn't tell you. Perhaps this forum got into my sub-conscious, but hey ho, I drank half of my usual amount.

And this morning, I'm not craving a drink. I have a slight, slight tiny hangover - more just an acknowledgement that I did consume alcohol last night, there's no pain or nausea, just a bit thirsty. I have a lot of chores today and have to drive, I've got a tonne of cooking to do, laundry etc, I'm busy. And while still a bit puzzled, I feel good.

So for now I'm gonna press on with the plan so far - one party night with my partner before we both change our lives.....I know that's probably ill-advised too but it feels like "saying goodbye"

So just thought |I'd share the news that things are changing already for me, thank you for everyone that helped.

Oh, and bought the fizzy water too this morning, thanks Croissant!

PurpleKnight

Unless it's you wanting to quit, I'm not too sure how that's going to work.

I'm assuming your partner has a drink problem? or is it both of you?

Just trying to get my head around things!!

TimidTulip

Ah sorry, haven't been very clear!

My Partner does not have a drink problem, in fact I find his ambivilence to alcohol quite annoying - he's just not bothered whether he drinks or not. But I suppose that this the healthy, sober way.

We made a deal two years ago to quit smoking. I did it, but he didn't and still smokes. So we have come to an agreement that his smoking and my drinking both affect the other person in the relationship negatively, so we are both going to quit our own vices come the end of the month. Couple this with an improvement in diet, living circumstance etc and we will soon be a model couple!

The only hiccup is - I dont want to quit drinking. I'd like to be able to control my drinking, but have accepted that this is impossible. In an ideal world I'd just like to have a couple of glasses of wine with a nice meal on pay day, but I can never keep to a couple of glasses, it's always a couple of bottles. So in the absence of being able to control, I must quit. And do it before my health suffers.

Still, on the plus side, I haven't drunk today, and this is my prime time, while my partner is at work and I'm at home.

soberlicious

People always told me if I quit for my kids and family it wouldn't work, but I don't think that's altogether true. I think that quitting because of the negative impact your drinking is having on others can certainly be the impetus for a complete life change. I was very concerned about losing my kids to my ex after I was baker acted 7 years ago. That was the initial reason for me to power through. Just as my drinking had a powerful negative downward spiral, my non drinking had a powerful upward spiral. Living free of addiction gained a momentum all it's own. I no longer abstain solely for my children, but certainly it is morally wrong for me to drink and harm myself, those who love me, and those who I am responsible to care for. So am I non drinker solely for me? No. Solely for others? No. Not ever drinking or using drugs is the right way for me to live my life all the way around. Feels good and right for me and feels good and right for those who love me. Everybody wins .

PurpleKnight

I think Sobriety needs to have a foundation within the person quitting, because what happens if that person disappears? families unfortunately don't always stay together, relationships can dissolve, kids eventually grow up and move out etc.

The initial urgency or seeking a solution to get things kick started can come from other people but eventually things need to evolve IMO into something grounded within ourselves!!