Darkblue

I've been lurking for ages: first post tho.

I'm the guy that thinks addiction is everyday use.
What a shock I got.

I'm a binge drinker who goes on week long binges and think it's fine because I can be free for a month.

Not any more

I turned 25 the middle of the month. All my friends invited me out one day after the other. So I'd been drunk but not wasted like I do alone. I can go thru 4 litres in 4 days then get hungover to hell, swear never again and a month or two later I'm back on it.

So imagine my surprise after 10 years of pulling it off to wake up in agony and hot/cold fever sweats.

Thought I was a goner. All I could think was the mess of my flat when I'd be found.
Considered suicide.

4 days on, I had horrible liver pain and eye jaundice.

It's improved but I'm going to the docs tomorrow.

I also suffer from panic/anxiety. Haven't slept in 2 days for fear of dying.
Can't be helping.

I've had jaundice before and detoxes my way thru, but the liver pain. :/
I'm scared.

ScottFromWI

Welcome DarkBlue, glad you are seeing the doc tomorrow. SR is a great place to find support as you probably know from lurking, glad you could join in. I had horrible anxiety at first too, make sure you share that with the doc tomorrow.

PurpleKnight

Hey Darkblue, Welcome to the Forum!!

Thanks for sharing your story, it can't be easy.

What I do know of the liver is that it can come back from a lot of abuse, but you need to give it a chance, your doctor will be able to give you some specific medical advice tomorrow.

You're not out of this just yet, cut out the alcohol and you can come back from this!!

You'll find loads of support here at SR!!

least

Welcome. Going to the doctor is a good first step in getting sober. I'm glad you joined us.

thatcat

Hi and welcome. So happy to hear you're heading to the doctor. Or, if you're jaundiced and detoxing, maybe checking into the ER might be a good idea?

I know what it's like being afraid to sleep too.. a very scary feeling. Are you eating and drinking water?

Personally, I'd head to the ER.... ((hugs)) This can be a great life-changing time for you ... and that will be a great positive! Hang in there and keep posting.

Anna

Please take care of yourself and let us know how you're doing.

Darkblue

Er seems extreme. My liver pain is ebbing daily and I had hoped it's just going to heal
This has scared the life out of me. I will never drink again.

I just worry about the lack of sleep not giving time to heal.
I also worry about seizures, coma... Death. Especially at night.

I'm not very itchy.

I hope the tests will show a lesser bilirubin screen and allow treatment at home.
Hopes. Hopes..

Anyone overcome such a struggle?

PurpleKnight

There are people on this Forum that have gone through a similar struggle!!

It can be done, as long as any of us are breathing there is hope, relax, deep breaths and see what the Dr says tomorrow!!

Hang in there!!

Darkblue

Also I need to detox on the sense of being healthy. But I was never a daily drinker.
My last bender tipped me over....

Yes to water. Got my urine semi clear.
Eating liver healthy foods. No fat. Beets, lemon, some fish.

I have no nausea or sickness and can eat fine.

Darkblue

I had such a good sleep last night. Almost 5 hours. Best I've had in about 2 weeks.

And I was right. The pain has subsided and the jaundice is going.
Still going to the docs obviously.


The mad dreams are vivid and almost sci Fi. And all about groups fighting bandied with me inevitably baffled.



Will update after doc.

Thanks guys xx

Verte

Welome to the forum Darkblue,

This is a great place to be. Like the others wrote, there is a ton of support here.

Hope you are hanging in there.

robgt350

i hope you went to the doctor and followed his/her advice, because you described some very serious symptoms.
hope it all goes well. keep in touch

DisplacedGRITS

Hey, Darkblue. I know what you're talking about with the dreams. I used to call them my TeX Avery dreams. Really messed up stuff. Don't worry too much about it because they do pass. Hope all goes well with the doctor.

Darkblue

Waiting for a doctor callback to find out if it's ER or a doc app

I was positive when I woke up but the more people keep saying its positive, the more I start thinking my panic symptoms are untoward!
I know it can be serious in severe cases so please stop hammering the point.

I'm doing all I can.

thatcat

A few years back, I went completely jaundiced. My eyes were a crazy yellow-orange and my skin was glowing yellow, and so itchy. I had a CT and ultrasound and tons of blood tests. They said my bilirubin was the highest they'd ever seen and my liver was failing (obviously). Four days later, things were looking better and they sent me home, and my next blood test about a month later was just about normal. I am amazed by the liver and so thankful mine gave me another chance (and another still, as I relapsed some time later - ugh). Just thought I'd share...

Darkblue

I'm welling with gratitude. Really helped.

Spinach

Hi the liver is amazing at recovery but it does have limits.
When you see your Dr don't just stick with the acute problem of the liver see how much you can start to work out a plan of action to giving up. It's amazing how we forget how bad things were and start again!
I'm glad you got some sleep And good luck at the Dr's.
John.

Darkblue

I have health anxiety and brushed close to death because of often bimonthly boozing binges

Believe me - I won't touch another damn drink!!!!

I'm sure you've heard that before, but I've done it before with cannabis. It made me have panic attacks so I went from a daily user to nothing at all.

MrBen

If your health ok? Did the docs do any liver tests, it's just jaundice is a serious symptom.

MrBen

Oh you haven't been yet. Sorry I misread. Best of luck fella.