bigsombrero

Welcome - as others have said, stay strong and follow up on that doctor appointment. Sometimes a big scare like this is what some of us need - I myself had seizures so I understand what it feels like to be spooked like this. Do the right thing and see the doc, looking forward to hearing how it went.

Darkblue

Slight jaundice with no felt enlargement in the liver.

Was utterly honest with her.

She said I'm already on the mend. Full bloodworks to be taken today at 3pm and they'll contact me with the results.
My panic has had more to do with it.

There's a slight pinkness to the back of my throat which could be viral due to lowered immune system. That may be the reason I'm having trouble swallowing but it's probably more likely panic again.

Checked whole belly, eyes, mouth and a full history. I'm a lot calmer now. The sweating tho.... Profuse!

MrBen

Can you have slight jaundice? I honestly think you might just be imagining it. Because my eyes occasionally look yellow when I'm a little tired due to the red veins fading and looking yellow, along with my bathroom light reflecting off the white.

I thought if you had jaundice then you pretty much looked like a Simpson.

Darkblue

Haha. It's not glowing yellow.

I'm not making that up btw. It's on my bloodwork request

"Slight jaundice after alcoholic binge'

MrBen

Right. Well that's something new I've learned today. No I wasn't accusing you of making it up, just I've gotten paranoid and convinced myself I had jaundice when I was fine.

Darkblue

Right so I'll tell you something awfully embarrassing.

Last night, the pain in my liver was ebbing, but I could still feel it.
I named it and we made a pact. Thankfully all in my head.

I promised her (she's a she) that if she would help me I would help her. I promised that I'd never drink again and if I did - she had the power to do what she wishes.

I recognised to her that she's in power, but this wake up call has been so powerful that it's made me seriously reconsider my life. We will travel. We will get that job we want. I'll eat the right food. I'll lose weight for her.

It's crazy and I'm not saying she replied, but I think we have an understanding now haha

biminiblue

Ha! I love it that you made a pact with your liver.

That's an awesome idea!

I just wanted to reassure you that your panic and anxiety is going to get much much better the longer you are away from alcohol. I was a huge bundle of raw nerves and panic in my first month of sobriety. Now at four months, I'm a Zen Goddess.


Well. Sort of. But seriously, the anxiety is practically gone - I have one or two fleeting anxious thoughts every other day or so, but I have tools to banish them now: prayer, meditation, exercise, healthy diet, regular sleep. It is such a relief to feel normal again after so many years of the up/down. Hang in there.

MrBen

Well you've made a deal now, you don't want to make it angry!

PurpleKnight

That's great news, the body will repair itself now given the chance!!

hmmm I have never thought about the gender of my liver!!

Ornithology

Darkblue, I discovered this forum almost one year ago while doing a google search for "liver pain alcohol". I lurked for about 2 months before ending my 34 year addiction to alcohol.
In the last 10 months I've lost 50 pounds, 5 inches off my waist, and have replaced daily drinking with daily running. I've run a couple of 5k races and I'm training for a 10k this Fall.
I would suggest you find a physician you like and trust; mine has been great and is one of my biggest cheerleaders.

Darkblue

That's very inspiring.

Thank you

I'm getting better day by day.
I have a great doctor who knows my innermost secrets and has seen me almost naked haha
The jaundice is gone. The liver is working her way thru all the crap I gave her so can ache. But I'll soothe her with broccoli drinks, avocados twice a week and ZERO booze.

I started walking today. I'm too fragile to immediately jog, but I will.

I've taken this whole thing as a lifestyle change. All my friends know I'm not drinking and I've told them it would harm me, so they'll be very supportive.

Sleep is still an issue but improving.

I also signed up to therapy today to work out anxiety issues.

Am I not just the role model or what

Anna

DarkBlue, I'm so glad that your dr calmed you and that your health is improving.

I want to add that walking daily was (and still is) a big part of my recovery.

Darkblue

Hi guys. Just to update:

My liver function tests came back as in the ranges of high normal.
Ast 62. Bilirubin elevated. Another at 52 (ast?)

She seemed pretty relaxed. I've to make sure I repeat the test next week.

I'm 85% better. Eating, sleeping good, getting out.

I'm glad I went when I did!

PurpleKnight

Great to hear Darkblue!! Keep pushing through!!

Jupiters

yup, sounds like you're definitely on the right path DB! your spirits seem great too

MrBen

I wouldn't worry too much about that mate, the liver function test only tests how your liver is feeling "right now". So considering you are so new to sobriety it would only be logical it was a little bit high. I had mine done and they were very similar to yours while I was drinking, now they're normal. Just keep doing the test, follow the doctors advice, but I'd rest easy considering the result.

Darkblue

Just wanted to give an update after about a month now.

Second tests came back perfectly normal.
Totally off all drink and don't ever intend to drink again
Changed my diet and started exercising.

I have much more energy, stable moods and overall I'm just happier.

I'm not being smug or self righteous. I want people to know that it's not only possible to turn things around, but it feels great too.

I have anxiety but always have. I think it's what made me self medicate.
I start counselling next week.

To all those starting the journey, push through. It gets better every day

Wastinglife

I have been through bad detoxes like this. Worst days of my life.

PurpleKnight

That's great news Darkblue!!

Angel1555

Good luck and hope you start feeling better.