Jupiters

well...Day 43...and the reality of my last binge is now setting in majorly. I have court this Wednesday where I will be sentenced I have no idea for how long...but I start my weekends this weekend.
I feel like I have been on autopilot the last 6 weeks but now that it is all coming to fruition this week...I'm not feeling too hot. My nightmares are outta control. I'm terrified. I never thought I would be going to jail. JAIL.
just saying it sounds frikken surreal.
like the shock is now worn off. I have a busy, crazy day here at work....it's going to take major effort to concentrate the next 2 days here.

resolute50

Sometimes the mind makes things seem like they're worse than they really are.
Your thinking of the worst case scenario. Try to relax, there is no sense in torturing yourself over something that hasn't happened yet.

courage2

((Jupiters)) I feel for you. I would be terrified. Just remember that the only thing you HAVE to do right today is hold on to your sobriety. Is there anyone you can talk to face to face? This sounds like a great day for an AA meeting, even if you don't usually go.

nmd

It's out of your control at this point Junipers, and maybe that is what is hardest, but it will pass. The rest of your life is in your control though and you sound like a great person who is making changes to live a happier life.

I'm very lucky I never had a DWI conviction, I know I drove away from at least 3 checkpoints when I was over the limit and should have been arrested. What did I really get away with though? I kept drinking for another 10-12years, I damaged my health, my marriage fell apart and I ended up divorced, and I wasn't always the father I should have been. So How lucky was I? It would have been better if I was arrested that first time over 10 years ago.

Nuudawn

Okay...Martha Stewart went to jail. And she handled it.
As will you..
I'm sure they aren't sending you to Kingston right?
You will be safe.

Jupiters

haha Martha Stewart.
That made me LOL
thx!

Boudicca

So sorry to hear that, Jupiters! This post really resonated with me having been there MORE THAN ONCE! It's insane that the first go round didn't teach me.

That is how much alcohol lies to us! How much we lie to ourselves.
That said, the only way out is through. I sincerely hope they don't put you in, but if it happens know that you WILL make it through. You can do it. It will eventually be over.
It has actually been helpful for me in getting sober because it is part of the "tape" I play in my head when I feel like drinking.

Anna

I can imagine how scary the thought of jail is, and I'm sure it won't be nearly as bad as you are imagining.

And, once you get started on the weekends, I think you will feel like you're moving forward and not on auto-pilot anymore. The waiting is usually the hardest part.

ultradad

Man, God bless you! I'll be praying for you! I'm actually in a somewhat similar situation and I completely understand how horrific the thoughts can be. This too shall pass.

I'm here if you ever need to talk!

Jupiters

Thanks Anna - that's exactly what I am hoping and said to my BF this morning.
I just want this first one done with so I know what I'm dealing with and can start moving on
I've heard some crazy stories. But am hoping I don't get more than 4-6 weekends. I'll know Wed. exactly what's going on.

Jupiters

This Too Shall Pass is on neverending repeat in my head
I am going to do my best to turn this into a positive! I'm praying I maybe even meet some nice women...(who knows eh?!)
I go in Fridays at 8pm (I think) and am going to push for an early Sunday release so I can prep for work week...so it's really just the Saturday I need to get through. I am hoping, praying the judge let's me out early Sundays so I don't need to sit there all day...but hey! this is the consequence of my idiotic behaviour.
I will learn from this. I WILL become a better, stronger person. I have to.

thanks guys.

Lola23

Jupiters - sorry you're going through this. Keep on keeping on with your positive attitude though.

Boudicca

The "crazy stories" are just that: stories. It sounds much worse than it actually is. What you will find to be accurate is there will be many people just like you. (And some not like you, lol.)

(If they allow you reading material or writing material it might be a great time to read some inspirational things or do some journaling. You can work on your recovery just doing that!)

If they don't, someone always has a deck of cards around. It's a good conversation-starter.

The only other advice I can offer is to follow all directions TO THE LETTER! I had more issues with the staff at my "hotel" than I ever did with any of the other "guests!" My two cents. Best of luck, J.

Jupiters

yah, I'm not a sh** disturber so plan on just going in and doing what I am told and getting the f outta there!

bigsombrero

Sorry to hear about the dreaded court appearance. You have done all you could to prepare - stay close to SR and know that we're here to support you, rain or shine. Good luck.

MandalayVA

Live through it, learn from it and move on. We're all cheering for you!

Jupiters

I have a great support system in family, friends, my BF and this board. I'll be just fine.


better than fine!!

PurpleKnight

We're all rooting for you!!

SoberHoopsFan

I understand the feeling even though I never was incarcerated for an extended period of time. Several of my binges resulted in situations where I probably should have been incarcerated, but somehow managed to wiggle my way out of it. It's an awful thing to have hanging over your head (I had it over my head for about 2 months in one situation before it got cleared), but it can serve as a constant reminder of why you should never drink again.

I really feel quite fortunate I never was in jail more than overnighters, but maybe it would have taught me a lesson sooner. If you do end up going, that could be a slight positive way to spin it. I hope it works out, I know how you feel... stay strong.