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Advice needed!

Old 06-23-2014, 04:56 AM
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Advice needed!

Hi,

I'm on day 6 (relapsed after being sober for 30 days)

My boyfriend is in Brazil for the world cup and this has happened while he's been away. I didnt want to tell him while he was still there but was that the wrong thing? I feel like I'm lying to him when he's sending me messages of support (day 34 - so proud of you, etc) but I couldnt have ruined this experience for him. He's not an alcoholic but has been extremely supportive throughout.

I'm dreading picking him up from the airport on Friday and telling him, he's got such faith in me.

Any advice would be really great.

L x
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Old 06-23-2014, 05:01 AM
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You have plenty of time to explain when he is home with you. Proud of you for jumping right back on. Try to figure out why you drank so you don't repeat it. You got this. Congrats on day six.
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Old 06-23-2014, 05:14 AM
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Don't worry about it, your back up at 6 Days, that's what counts, how you reacted to the situation, how you immediatly re committed to Sobriety, he'll appreciate that more as actions speak louder to friends/family than anything else!!

The phrase "I drank once out of the last 36 Days" still sounds pretty impressive!!
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Old 06-23-2014, 07:18 AM
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Do you think he will though? I just feel like finishing to let him out of this x
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Old 06-23-2014, 08:01 AM
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I am on day 23 myself. Congratulations on making it 30, that is impressive. Also, well done for having the courage to admit your lapse. That takes guts.
I feel honesty and accountability are extremely important for us. I know I have never been honest or accountable for my drinking until now and it seems to have made everything easier this time round. Alcohol is all about secrets.

Come clean when he returns. My guess is he will respect you for your honest and his support will not waver. More importantly you will respect yourself and reaffirm that you want to stay sober.
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Old 06-23-2014, 10:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Boudicca View Post
I am on day 23 myself. Congratulations on making it 30, that is impressive. Also, well done for having the courage to admit your lapse. That takes guts. I feel honesty and accountability are extremely important for us. I know I have never been honest or accountable for my drinking until now and it seems to have made everything easier this time round. Alcohol is all about secrets. Come clean when he returns. My guess is he will respect you for your honest and his support will not waver. More importantly you will respect yourself and reaffirm that you want to stay sober.
Thank you! Honesty for me was really hard. I'd lied so much being a drunk I forgot how to be honest. I know to be sober I need to be honest. I just hate lying to someone I love.

Giving so much away is a struggle for me but it helps a little writing it down. Just want to be better.

L x
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Old 06-23-2014, 10:33 AM
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Well done on day 23!!!! X
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Old 06-23-2014, 11:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Foolsgold186 View Post
Thank you! Honesty for me was really hard. I'd lied so much being a drunk I forgot how to be honest. I know to be sober I need to be honest. I just hate lying to someone I love.

Giving so much away is a struggle for me but it helps a little writing it down. Just want to be better.

L x
You can do it! It is hard to ask for help and support. Difficult to let others in to our "dark places." But what I am discovering is that sharing isn't weakness. It is strength.
Doesn't make it any easier, lol.
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Old 06-23-2014, 11:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Foolsgold186 View Post
Do you think he will though? I just feel like finishing to let him out of this x
I think honesty and proving change through actions are always positive ways forward, I'd say sit him down and have a chat about all this.

The fact he was texting you all the way from Brazil, at the World Cup (he is putting most of us guys to shame), sounds like he cares about you enough to give you a chance to talk it over.
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