SoberNLuvingIt

I have a question. I have been sober for 4 months, I did 200 meetings in my first 90 days. belong to 2 groups and i'm active with my groups.

Tonight I missed a commitment due to some personal stuff and my sponsor said i'm on my way to a relapse. I understand I didn't keep my word that I would make the commitment, but, does this warrant him saying this?
thx

Fandy

what does your common sense tell you?

Kevin78

Sounds a bit ott. Sometimes personal stuff does get in the way, Thats life.

Anna

Congratulations on your 4 months sober. Good for you.

Dee74

I think the important thing is what you think about it, SoberNLuvingIt
maybe it's time for a discussion with your sponsor?

D

SoberNLuvingIt

Hi All,

Thank you for the feedback. This is my first time giving AA a shot so this is all new. I am speaking with my sponsor tomorrow.

LadyinBC

The only person who can really tell us that we are on our way to a relapse is ourselves.

Quite frankly 200 meetings in 90 days is quite the commitment. Be open and honest with your sponsor if you feel that he/she is judging you.

We are not perfect and life does interfere in commitments sometimes.

jason2

No. Sounds like you need a new sponsor.

ex D-Boy

Thats the trouble with some 12 steppers, They replace one addiction with another :\

IMO having real life engagements taking priority over whatever your sponsor was asking is a good sign of putting your past behind you once and for all.

Then again I do not know much, I'm just an ex dope head.

KAD

Yeah... it's that sort of thing that makes me very squeamish about becoming involved in AA. That was totally uncalled for, not to mention demotivating and unsupportive. It's what has often earned them "cult" status. I would definitely seek a new sponsor. Ridiculous...

eliza24

Don't let somebody else's opinion change the way you feel about your success. I'm sure plenty of people here, including myself, wish they were already at 4 months!l that's really amazing!l I think this remark deserves to be respectfully acknowledged but dismissed in your mind. You're doing fantastic.

Amazingglazier

That is a good idea ! I was going to AA several years ago and owned a trucking company at the time. My sponsor became very possessive of my time, what little I had and whenever I missed a meeting he would chew me out about thinking I was drinking and how the meetings should override anything and everything! I told him I try to, but if I got stuck somewhere with a load, I couldn't just drop the trailer and go to the meeting. He was also my court mandated counselor and held my license restoration in his hands. As soon as I got cleared to get my full license back I ran from him and the meetings, I wish it hadn't been that way! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

CAPTAINZING2000

What was your commitment and did you call someone to say you would not be there?

Amazingglazier

And Congrats on your 4 Months! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

KAD

This may be a stretch, but to me its like making a commitment to do something for church and then something comes up that prevents you from being able to live up to your commitment (being human and all), and the preacher tells you you're going to Hell for it.

Joe Nerv

A lot of people told me a lot of times that I was going to drink again. I listened to their reasons, and then I used the resentment as fuel . They were wrong. Still standing, alcohol free, 3 decades later.

DisplacedGRITS

Perhaps your sponsor sees other things going on with your sobriety? Talking openly and honestly with your sponsor is good. There could be other things going on that you don't see. I wouldn't rush to fire your sponsor. Just gather information and see what's up?

tomsteve

there very well could be more to this than yer tellin us but yer sponsor sees.
if it was one commitment missed, it seems out of place to say that, but im thinkin theres more to it.
talk to yer sponsor. ask em why they said that. ask what they are seeing that leads to that opinion.

Croissant

I agree with TomSteve...not really understanding the context.

For example, if you'd agreed specifically with someone to be someplace and then not showing and not telling them as a courtesy....well, firstly, it's rude.

Secondly, your sponsor sees how you participate in meetings....so saying you attended 200, really means nothing if you've swayed from practising what you've learned there. On top of that, not showing up without telling someone, may have sounded warning bells.

Not taking any sides....but as I said, not getting the whole context here, I'm sure.

Gottalife

I see lots of meetings and group activity and no mention of the steps. I'm one of those who recovered through the steps. Until they were done I was always at risk of relapse, it's the nature of my alcoholism. Meetings alone do not treat alcoholism. Is there more to tell?