LBrain

KAD

More and more I'm finding that it's not so much the various methods available that are the problem, but the people using them who can be fairly close-minded and polarizing. I've been guilty of doing the same thing, so I'm directing this at myself, too. Isn't it that way with a lot of things? Religion? Politics? Even something as seemingly innocuous as sports? Maybe it really is all about how you use it, and keeping an open mind toward those who disagree with you. (And that goes for the ones who disagree, as well.) I find the same narrow-mindedness and biases among pretty much all schools of thought on this topic in particular.

soberlicious

I had a sponsor who I thought "had what I wanted". She was educated (more than one advanced degree), a strong beautiful woman. She exuded confidence. It turns out she was actually very troubled and was threatened by the successes of other females ( including mine). Not confident at all judging by her penchant for belittling and competing with other woman. She used the "you're heading for a relapse" line all the time.

There are lots of weirdos in AA. Of course, there are weirdos in all walks of life that's for sure, but I don't have to willingly spend my free time with them.

If I want someone to put me down, hold me back, belittle me, make me small, or tell me that my every thought and action is wrong, I have any number of people from birth until my recent past to do that for me. I don't need to find new ones.

I felt for my sponsor. I think her intentions were good, but she just wasn't equipped with enough mental health to put herself in a position of mentoring others. To be fully honest, I've learned more about living life on life's terms, about acceptance, and about triumph in the face of adversity from my autistic son than I've ever learned from my sponsor.

grtgrandpa

I have been in recovery for 28 years using AA because:
1. consequences made me want recovery
2. I worked the steps
3. The grace of God
4. Love of fellow AA members
5. Rewards of recovery---p. 83-84 in Big Book

ToxicTonic

I don't have a need for a controlling sponsor. I am looking for someone to take me through the steps - not control every facet of my life.

Soberpotamus

Do YOU think you're on the way to relapse? That might be the better question.

ScottFromWI

How many different people have you actually asked to be your sponsor? It's fairly simple to ask someone what their concept of being a sponsor is and how they go about it.

MandalayVA

I think it's forgotten sometimes that sponsors are alcoholics too. They may not be drinking, but that doesn't mean that their problems and issues have gone away along with the alcohol.

soberlicious

All the more reason they should not be "counseling" others, only facilitating understanding of the steps as outlined in the text.

Amazingglazier

Timmah , i'm sure there are other meeting that might be better for you, I went to some that I liked and some as you say, were a joke. With meeting the only message that is consistent is not to drink. Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

Dee74

Seeing as the OP pretty much worked this out on page one, I think we've had enough supplementary discussion.

I hope the OP will update us on a fresh thread

D