I truly apologise................
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 442
Originally Posted by Aiko 
I admit it I can not do it on my own!
I am going to the drug centre tomorrow early!
They are going to.go bananas!!!
I am going to the drug centre tomorrow early!
They are going to.go bananas!!!
Come on, get to some help, stop delaying it, youre heading in one direction, its not going to get better on its own and frankly you look like your about to go over the edge of a cliff.
You have time to save it all (even your job and your dignity) - do something about it.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I hope you see a doc today and get help. No one will be angry with you. It's clear you can't do this alone so please ask about rehab or talk honestly with your doc. Please don't stop posting either. SR is for when you're struggling and need help stopping.
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
I am sorry I kept away
I.am a mess My head finaly colapsed!
It has been hell... And working at the same time, they know there is something wrong with me...
I whent to the centre and got told off......... Big time!!!
Or.either get someone to stay with you, and have to take them there so they tell them what to do...
Or we are arranging for rehab...
And want me to tear all the prescriptions I have in front.
God my back ups
but it does not realy matter... If I want to I know who would give me benzo or pot for free..
At least I am scared of drinking!
I gone bonkers thinking of all the variable options!
A friend offered to keep my meds and I can go at night to get some... This is not going to work obviously!
Hood news Since 22 Jan not a drop!
But I can see my dad us drinking again slowly but surely!
I have been looking up a detox place, they work with small groups of 10 days in a hotel, with medical stuff.... Got to.be assesed first... Etc... Looking into it!
So my plan is to finish all the work I have on... Some how!
Tomorrow morning will be translater in a meeting...
I have to be sharp! God help me!
And will e-mail the drug centre to ask them for places I can go!
And hide it somehow of my family!!!
Officially I will be going for a holiday.
They all will think how selfish I am...
My mun waiting to be operatef and I go on holidays...
Got to make sure I am here for her for her surgery appointment...
I thank u all 4 all ur caring words and advice!
Just to let U know I am working looking for solutions!
Night Night. XO
I.am a mess My head finaly colapsed!
It has been hell... And working at the same time, they know there is something wrong with me...
I whent to the centre and got told off......... Big time!!!
Or.either get someone to stay with you, and have to take them there so they tell them what to do...
Or we are arranging for rehab...
And want me to tear all the prescriptions I have in front.
God my back ups
but it does not realy matter... If I want to I know who would give me benzo or pot for free..
At least I am scared of drinking!
I gone bonkers thinking of all the variable options!
A friend offered to keep my meds and I can go at night to get some... This is not going to work obviously!
Hood news Since 22 Jan not a drop!
But I can see my dad us drinking again slowly but surely!
I have been looking up a detox place, they work with small groups of 10 days in a hotel, with medical stuff.... Got to.be assesed first... Etc... Looking into it!
So my plan is to finish all the work I have on... Some how!
Tomorrow morning will be translater in a meeting...
I have to be sharp! God help me!
And will e-mail the drug centre to ask them for places I can go!
And hide it somehow of my family!!!
Officially I will be going for a holiday.
They all will think how selfish I am...
My mun waiting to be operatef and I go on holidays...
Got to make sure I am here for her for her surgery appointment...
I thank u all 4 all ur caring words and advice!
Just to let U know I am working looking for solutions!
Night Night. XO
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
I am escalating....
I knew where I was going...
I smoke tonight a little bit and manage to get 2 benzos + meds...
and my friend told me she is going to her doc so she will get me a box of benzo...
I e-mailed the centre yesterday... asking for rehab places where I can go...
as I can not find anybody to stay with me...
I am really worn out of fighting it.
I am actually wishing to get to a centre where I can get help,
even if it is for 10 days.
I tried again and again....
Have to wait till Monday if I get a response and then arrange somewhere...
but has to be on the days I get off work... and make up a BIG LIE...
I thought to say... I am going to coast place and with a friend from another city.
so they will not find out.
I hate lying I just hate it!!!
I can not continue... I feel ill...
The thing is... every time I say I am going to stop I start escalating,
I want more before I stop...
I need to get somewhere they hold me down for a few days so I can think clearly.
But I think at least a week before I get somewhere...
I knew where I was going...
I smoke tonight a little bit and manage to get 2 benzos + meds...
and my friend told me she is going to her doc so she will get me a box of benzo...
I e-mailed the centre yesterday... asking for rehab places where I can go...
as I can not find anybody to stay with me...
I am really worn out of fighting it.
I am actually wishing to get to a centre where I can get help,
even if it is for 10 days.
I tried again and again....
Have to wait till Monday if I get a response and then arrange somewhere...
but has to be on the days I get off work... and make up a BIG LIE...
I thought to say... I am going to coast place and with a friend from another city.
so they will not find out.
I hate lying I just hate it!!!
I can not continue... I feel ill...
The thing is... every time I say I am going to stop I start escalating,
I want more before I stop...
I need to get somewhere they hold me down for a few days so I can think clearly.
But I think at least a week before I get somewhere...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Aiko, taking those benzos from your friend sounds like such a bad idea; please don't take them; things could get even worse between now and admission into rehab.
Are you sure you can't be honest with your employer?? They may already suspect that something is wrong and be happy to give you the time you need to get well.
Please be safe, dear Aiko.
Are you sure you can't be honest with your employer?? They may already suspect that something is wrong and be happy to give you the time you need to get well.
Please be safe, dear Aiko.
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