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Heading Out And Need Support

Old 06-16-2014, 07:05 AM
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Heading Out And Need Support

Hey! So I'm on Day 04 now and I thought I would post in the forum because I am in need of some support. I'm heading out to a BBQ at my parents pub and grill. Yes I said PUB and grill. There will be a fully stocked bar and the temptation is going to be very real. But I will stick to Coke light and my BBQ. I will be checking in to the forum at regular intervals to post updates and get some support. This is going to be tough but I can do it. No point being sober if you can't socialize right? Wish me luck.
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Old 06-16-2014, 07:06 AM
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Best of luck to you!!
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Old 06-16-2014, 07:08 AM
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Congrats on 4 days Steve. I wish you luck, although I'll be honest in saying that i'd never have come close to a bar that early into my recovery - simply too much temptation. Is there a reason you can't skip it and go to the next one? At 4 days you have probably not even completely passed through acute withdrawals yet.

If you go - make sure you have a plan b to get out of there quickly if the urges are too strong.
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Old 06-16-2014, 07:18 AM
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Good luck buddy...NO WAY I could have wen't to a pub at 4 days sober and stayed sober, but that's me.... Looks like you have a plan in mind so stick with it and hope it all works out for you...anyway you could just grab the barbecue and head on out or skip it completely?

I agree, we still need to socialize while being sober, but we also need to be smart about it. Good luck man and stay connected, be strong and stick to your plan : )
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Old 06-16-2014, 07:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Steve027 View Post
No point being sober if you can't socialize right? Wish me luck.
If you need "luck" it might be too soon to put yourself in harm's way.

Yes, the point of sobriety isn't to remove ourselves from all social activities. But at four days, are you putting socializing ahead of recovery?

You have plenty of time for pubs and BBQs...when you get a strong foundation of sobriety under you. That's my thoughts, anyway.
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Old 06-16-2014, 07:58 AM
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Thanks for all the support guys! Lucky for me the BBQ area is far away from the actual pub itself, so I'm just going to stay in the safe zone with my soda and knock this one out of the park!
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Old 06-16-2014, 08:22 AM
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Any sober friend that you could take with you? or an exit plan? I can remember going to a conference for work at 4 months and it was tough, let alone days.
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Old 06-16-2014, 08:32 AM
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Hola:

I have been going to events with alcohol since the beginning and something that really helped me was having a mantra to remind me why I needed not to drink.

I just kept reliving over and over again in my head I'll be horrible experiences I've had bc of booze and how crappy it will be to start over. I just kept telling myself that now is the time. Like I have said before, if you have any doubt in your mind that you might drink you're better off not going but if you're sure that you're not going to drink it can be a great sense of pride once the event is over and you didn't drink and this pride can give you fuel to keep going. That's what happened to me in the beginning.

Remember: your life, your deal. Only you would have to face the consequences of your decisions.

Stay strong and keep us posted!
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Old 06-16-2014, 09:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Tamerua View Post
or an exit plan?
Please ensure you have one. I would not suggest being anyone's DD or the like. Have your own car keys. Do not "go" with anyone who will not leave with you if you need to. Do not catch a ride with anyone. If you're the driver and you bring someone..make sure they have a way home if they don't want to come with you. My only advice is to ensure you can leave if you experience great discomfort.
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Old 06-16-2014, 09:57 AM
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I agree with the socialising part, but 4 days sometimes can be a tad soon to be in a pub, great to hear the areas are pretty far apart though!!

Take care of yourself Steve!!
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Old 06-16-2014, 03:16 PM
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Ok guys well it just ticked over to day 05 for me and I made it through the BBQ was tough watching everyone else drink but I stuck to my soda and just enjoyed the BBQ. Feel great about it
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Old 06-16-2014, 03:17 PM
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Fantastic news!!
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Old 06-16-2014, 03:44 PM
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I'm glad you made it Steve

I wanted to comment tho:

No point being sober if you can't socialize right?
sure - but the smart way is to work up to it. Noone starts weight training by lifting 300 pounds right?

Everytime I got sober before I was hellbent on roadtesting my sobriety...I threw myself into a variety of situations - parties BBQ, pubs...

I never drank the first time, and sometimes not the second or third...but I always drank again.

I needed time out from the life I used to lead, so I could work out what kind of life I really wanted and who I wanted to be...so I avoided social occasions where I knew there'd be alcohol for a few months.

Doesn't mean I was a hermit - I just got inventive with things I could do that would not involve alcohol

D
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Old 06-16-2014, 04:16 PM
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I just now saw this Steve, so I was no help. It was a bit risky in your early days - but I'm so glad you didn't have a setback.
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