31 Days!!! Down the drain.............
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 43
31 Days!!! Down the drain.............
As I as write this, tears are falling from my eyes.
All I remember is bee-lining to the store to make the Sunday 8pm close.
Today is Tuesday...Texts and conversations of which I have no clue...Sunday 11pm Tues 6:23am.
I can honestly say that This is the longest period of time in 2 decades that I have gone so long without a drink.
They say you cant fall off the floor. You can, if you dig yourself a 100 foot hole...
I throw my hands up in the air. I just don't know anymore...(no not suicidal) just in that 100 foot hole digging me another one it seems.
All I remember is bee-lining to the store to make the Sunday 8pm close.
Today is Tuesday...Texts and conversations of which I have no clue...Sunday 11pm Tues 6:23am.
I can honestly say that This is the longest period of time in 2 decades that I have gone so long without a drink.
They say you cant fall off the floor. You can, if you dig yourself a 100 foot hole...
I throw my hands up in the air. I just don't know anymore...(no not suicidal) just in that 100 foot hole digging me another one it seems.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Don't beat yourself up.
Back in '07 I threw away 14 months thinking I could "manage".
It takes a couple tries sometimes before you'll be able to get over the humps in the road.
Just remember what caused it and use it as a tool.
You only lost a battle. It's the war you want to win.
Back in '07 I threw away 14 months thinking I could "manage".
It takes a couple tries sometimes before you'll be able to get over the humps in the road.
Just remember what caused it and use it as a tool.
You only lost a battle. It's the war you want to win.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Olathe
Posts: 200
The 31 days you achieved is worth celebrating and that is where you should be focusing. Fantastic job! So what if you had a hiccup? It doesn't negate what you did. All this "down the drain" stuff I keep hearing from people here is hogwash. Be proud of what you accomplished and have another go at it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Don't beat yourself up. you did a fantastic job reaching 31 days. Start again and set a goal of 100 days. Do what you need to do to stop this crazy thing - sounds like George Jetson.
As you approach your goal, set a new goal. Take it one day at a time to achieve that goal.
Hang in there.
As you approach your goal, set a new goal. Take it one day at a time to achieve that goal.
Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: South Shore, MA
Posts: 348
You did great with 31 days. Etch into your soul how you feel today and let it motivate you. Dust yourself off and keep moving forward. I use my disappointment, shame and overall crappy feelings as
My motivation.
My motivation.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 122
Hello Cflex,
31 days is a major accomplishment, especially after 20 years! Regroup, figure out what triggered the "bee-line" and get serious with a program to help when you feel that way again. I recently had a relapse, and a friend asked me what my plan was. I told them the program I was working and they looked me in the eye, and said "well it aint workin' for ya". They have been sober for 20 years, so I listened, and am regrouping my own program.
You have proven to yourself that you can do 31 days, stick with that, and post often here. Wish you the best!
31 days is a major accomplishment, especially after 20 years! Regroup, figure out what triggered the "bee-line" and get serious with a program to help when you feel that way again. I recently had a relapse, and a friend asked me what my plan was. I told them the program I was working and they looked me in the eye, and said "well it aint workin' for ya". They have been sober for 20 years, so I listened, and am regrouping my own program.
You have proven to yourself that you can do 31 days, stick with that, and post often here. Wish you the best!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
In 2012 I had a couple of sober patches more than a month long - each ended with a return to the fairly serious drinking with which I was accustomed. Unfortunate at the time, certainly, but perhaps it was merely a prelude to better things: sober 1-year anniversary rolls around for me in a little more than two weeks from today.
Hey -- a month off the bottle is .. a month off the bottle. There are a ton of good things to be said about that effort. Further, it's I think easier to go to "nondrinker" from getting drunk once a month than it is from getting drunk on a more frequent basis, and progress is progress.
Life change doesn't usually work like flipping a switch; often it's more like three steps forward followed by a step or two back. Staying sober is like working on a sport or any other skill, just keep working on getting better and making slow and (hopefully) steady progress.
This isn't the end of a streak of thirty-one days so much as it's one of those steps back. Time to follow it up with three steps forward!
Hey -- a month off the bottle is .. a month off the bottle. There are a ton of good things to be said about that effort. Further, it's I think easier to go to "nondrinker" from getting drunk once a month than it is from getting drunk on a more frequent basis, and progress is progress.
Life change doesn't usually work like flipping a switch; often it's more like three steps forward followed by a step or two back. Staying sober is like working on a sport or any other skill, just keep working on getting better and making slow and (hopefully) steady progress.
This isn't the end of a streak of thirty-one days so much as it's one of those steps back. Time to follow it up with three steps forward!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Cflexbxny 
I can honestly say that This is the longest period of time in 2 decades that I have gone so long without a drink.
simple (at least it worked for me)
shoot for another personal sober record for yourself
it works
MM
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Hey there,
Just wanted to let you know that it's ok. I made it to 30 days myself and i went right out and had a few beers. Man that was the longest time that i had been sober in probably 30 years. I really felt bad. Just like everyone says just dust yourself off and try it again. Think about what you need to do to succeed this time around.
Just wanted to let you know that it's ok. I made it to 30 days myself and i went right out and had a few beers. Man that was the longest time that i had been sober in probably 30 years. I really felt bad. Just like everyone says just dust yourself off and try it again. Think about what you need to do to succeed this time around.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
My AV loves to tell me my sober time was wasted. It keeps me feeling low and vulnerable to its incessant suggestions that I should drink.
My AV lies. Sober time is never wasted.
Nobody makes it 31 days without learning something. Put what you learned to use. You can do this.
My AV lies. Sober time is never wasted.
Nobody makes it 31 days without learning something. Put what you learned to use. You can do this.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
You did great going for 31 days!
Do you know what prompted you to buy alcohol on Sunday? I hope you can figure it out and then you can make sure it doesn't happen again.
Blackouts are very scary. I had several of them in my last months of drinking. Know for sure that you don't have to go through this again.
Do you know what prompted you to buy alcohol on Sunday? I hope you can figure it out and then you can make sure it doesn't happen again.
Blackouts are very scary. I had several of them in my last months of drinking. Know for sure that you don't have to go through this again.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Chepstow, Monmouthshire
Posts: 58
Hey Cflex :-)!!
31 days is ace, and it proves you can do some length of time :-)!!
What support have you got?
I go to a feww aa meetings (choose the ones I like and the ones where people laugh)... It's good to have some support and to never ever stop trying... Well done :-)
31 days is ace, and it proves you can do some length of time :-)!!
What support have you got?
I go to a feww aa meetings (choose the ones I like and the ones where people laugh)... It's good to have some support and to never ever stop trying... Well done :-)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Hey, Cflexbxny, you haven't lost those 31 days or the strength and determination you mustered in that time; they are yours; pull yourself up and start again this very minute. The time will start mounting again. Remember one day at a time, learning and gaining strength each day.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
31 days is NOT down the drain. You have 31 days of sober time that no one can take away from you. Not even you.
Use this as a learning experience. Figure out what you can do different next time. Get a plan. You KNOW you can do this, you already have.
Use this as a learning experience. Figure out what you can do different next time. Get a plan. You KNOW you can do this, you already have.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Whitehaven UK
Posts: 221
Hi
31 days is great im now two months in it is awful when you give in and drink we have all been there just dust yourself off and start again
Write down what happened that made you say sod it and buy the poison that way you will start to suss what the triggers are that cause you to drink
The world nor other people give a **** if you fail or succeed there are going to be stresses, bills, deaths etc that test us
At the end of the day only you can dig yourselve out of this hole only you yes hopefully you have support but the only thing standing in the way of you getting better is you
Get back up and carry on
Best of luck
Countryside girl x
31 days is great im now two months in it is awful when you give in and drink we have all been there just dust yourself off and start again
Write down what happened that made you say sod it and buy the poison that way you will start to suss what the triggers are that cause you to drink
The world nor other people give a **** if you fail or succeed there are going to be stresses, bills, deaths etc that test us
At the end of the day only you can dig yourselve out of this hole only you yes hopefully you have support but the only thing standing in the way of you getting better is you
Get back up and carry on
Best of luck
Countryside girl x
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Get up...shake it off.
Stay sober today.
Stay sober today.
Stay sober today.
In a sobriety long ago and far away...I had heard people talking bout how relapse is part of the process. At the time, it kinda ticked me. Well..I guess what it did was scare me. Here I was with my newbie resolve and someone's talking relapse...like some get out of jail free card?? I hated hearing anything bout it...
No way...not me...ain't gonna happen.
It did happen
And it happened again.
All we can do is keep quitting. We look at what caused the last and go forward.
Not sure how old you are but when I was a kid there was this cartoon bout a coyote. always trying to catch a roadrunner to eat for dinner. That roadrunner foiled him everytime. The coyote was always coming up with some scheme to get that roadrunner. He was always buying gadgets or explosives from the ACME company to get this roadrunner.
Something always went wrong. Some weird random event would happen and the roadrunner would slip away. I remember I would always think ..."just try again"..then next time you try to set that trap a random thunder bolt won't come out of nowhere and conk you in the head.
I could never figure out why that coyote never tried the same thing again..
Try again...and maybe that random thunder bolt won't conk you in the head.
We all understand.
Stay sober today.
Stay sober today.
Stay sober today.
In a sobriety long ago and far away...I had heard people talking bout how relapse is part of the process. At the time, it kinda ticked me. Well..I guess what it did was scare me. Here I was with my newbie resolve and someone's talking relapse...like some get out of jail free card?? I hated hearing anything bout it...
No way...not me...ain't gonna happen.
It did happen
And it happened again.
All we can do is keep quitting. We look at what caused the last and go forward.
Not sure how old you are but when I was a kid there was this cartoon bout a coyote. always trying to catch a roadrunner to eat for dinner. That roadrunner foiled him everytime. The coyote was always coming up with some scheme to get that roadrunner. He was always buying gadgets or explosives from the ACME company to get this roadrunner.
Something always went wrong. Some weird random event would happen and the roadrunner would slip away. I remember I would always think ..."just try again"..then next time you try to set that trap a random thunder bolt won't come out of nowhere and conk you in the head.
I could never figure out why that coyote never tried the same thing again..
Try again...and maybe that random thunder bolt won't conk you in the head.
We all understand.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 267
Hey Cflex, I'll just echo what so many others have said--that 31 days isn't wasted and the tools you earned during that time are still in the toolbox. Easy to say "don't beat yourself up" but hard advice to follow, I know. I had 100+ days and did just what you did, right before joining SR. Felt like I'd thrown away all that time and the idea of putting myself in the position of starting over from scratch was almost too much to take.
But it wasn't from scratch. Back on day 31 myself now. Trying not to get overconfident, and absolutely not flaunting, just trying to say...you'll get back there sooner than it feels right now, this time armed with ANOTHER new tool--the gauge that recorded what happened this time.
Hang in there. I know you can get back on track.
But it wasn't from scratch. Back on day 31 myself now. Trying not to get overconfident, and absolutely not flaunting, just trying to say...you'll get back there sooner than it feels right now, this time armed with ANOTHER new tool--the gauge that recorded what happened this time.
Hang in there. I know you can get back on track.
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