HerbiceXXV

My girlfriend is a recovering addict. We met in fall 2012 shortly after my divorce. When we met, she told me that she was a recovering addict (benzos & Heroin), I really didn't care. I was older, she was younger, and I thought this was what divorced guys were supposed to do. Sometime along the way, I fell in love with this woman, so when she relapsed in the winter of this year, I was incredibly hurt. I won't go into everything that happened. You know what happens. But in any event, she's currently in inpatient rehab. She's been clean in outpatient rehab since march, and went in two weeks ago. The question I have for anyone who might have been in a 28 day inpatient program is this... Have you felt the need to cut yourselves off from your significant others while in the program? I miss her dearly, and don't want to distract her from her process, especially since in the grand scheme of things she is only in for another 2 weeks, BUT I just need a little bit of reinforcement to my hope. While I am not a drug user, i drink a beer or two once a week, sometimes twice. I've decided that if we were to be together, I can't drink, and I'm okay with that... I'm just wondering if I should still be supportive, or if I should start disconnecting myself from the relationship. I know that you folks couldn't possibly have the answer, but I'm just seeking some encouragement from anywhere at this point. Ready? Go... What's your experience. Feel free to respond as an addict or the loved one of an addict. I know I've chosen a tough road, but hey... people do this every day, right?

Dee74

Hi and welcome HerbiceXXV

I've never been in rehab but it's pretty common for people to be encouraged to focus on their recovery for those 28 days.

I know that's tough on the guys outside like you but try and think of this is as your partners recuperation time and she's currently on 'no visitors'.

Try not to leap ahead too much - in 2 weeks she'll be out and you can discuss it then - try to give her a little time to adjust though

D

HerbiceXXV

I understand that. She sent me a letter this week, and among other things she said that she couldn't associate with people who drink/drug. What I'm wondering is this... because we did drink together, is she being advised to no longer see me? No, I don't like her as a drug addict, but I'm unsure that we'd have anything in common with her so focused on her sobriety. I'm just kind of scared in a way... It's like meeting someone again for the first time. You know?

ClearLight

I think you should post your concerns in the Friends and Family forum.

You'll find a lot of folks that have been in situations similar to yours.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

least

We also have a Friends and Family of substance abusers forum. Let her know you support her and that you'll give up drinking so it won't be a threat to her sobriety.

Welcome to the SR family.

autumn2

If you only drink a beer once or two a week,you seem like a safe support system. She was into heavy drugs.

I have been in a recovery hospital for 10 days before. Not for drugs,although I was a heavy pot user at the time. Mine was for bi-polar.

I don't know if this is the same everywhere,but where I was at they were men and women there. A lot of relationships were formed. Personally I think it would be better to have only women and only men facilities.

If it is a men and women facility that may be something to think about.

Hevyn

Herbice - I'm glad you found us and reached out for some help. Welcome.

Anna

I'm sorry you're going through this uncertainty.

Since she sent you a letter, why don't you respond to her and let her know you're concerned about her.