I am torn as to whether I should try AA again?
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Chicago Ridge, IL
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I am torn as to whether I should try AA again?
I have a history of drug abuse and alcoholism. I am not currently consuming any drugs and haven't been for a while. I had stopped drinking to an extent. But I was cracking every once in a while. I just got out of the psych ward. I am having a difficult time in life. Last night I decided that I was going to drink. I drove illegally to the gas station, purchased a box with three liters of wine, came home and started drinking it. I literally had to try to time my drinks in between because I didn't want to drink it too fast. I maybe consumed about 50 ounces or so in an hour. I did not even see it coming, but I was MAJORLY intoxicated. I fell a few times, I woke up in bed and all the lights were on downstairs and in my room, I was half dressed for some reason, and I literally spent about an hour this morning just detangling my hair and I don't know how it got that way. And I spilled stuff all over myself and everything else. I was REALLY drunk. Today I feel so horrible. My head is pounding and my stomach is angry, I am shaking, etc. But I don't know if this warrants AA. I am a little scared of what I might do. Or if I may lose control of the situation. I still have some of the wine and I feel like I don't know if I want to throw it out and try to stay away from it or drink more. I just don't know what the right thing to do is here. Once I get the thought in my head that I want to drink, it is going to happen regardless of what I have to do. And sometimes I have suicidal and crazy happy mood swings when drinking too. What should I do?
I have a history of drug abuse and alcoholism. I am not currently consuming any drugs and haven't been for a while. I had stopped drinking to an extent. But I was cracking every once in a while. I just got out of the psych ward. I am having a difficult time in life. Last night I decided that I was going to drink. I drove illegally to the gas station, purchased a box with three liters of wine, came home and started drinking it. I literally had to try to time my drinks in between because I didn't want to drink it too fast. I maybe consumed about 50 ounces or so in an hour. I did not even see it coming, but I was MAJORLY intoxicated. I fell a few times, I woke up in bed and all the lights were on downstairs and in my room, I was half dressed for some reason, and I literally spent about an hour this morning just detangling my hair and I don't know how it got that way. And I spilled stuff all over myself and everything else. I was REALLY drunk. Today I feel so horrible. My head is pounding and my stomach is angry, I am shaking, etc. But I don't know if this warrants AA. I am a little scared of what I might do. Or if I may lose control of the situation. I still have some of the wine and I feel like I don't know if I want to throw it out and try to stay away from it or drink more. I just don't know what the right thing to do is here. Once I get the thought in my head that I want to drink, it is going to happen regardless of what I have to do. And sometimes I have suicidal and crazy happy mood swings when drinking too. What should I do?
Wishing you well.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
I saw my psychiatrist a few weeks ago. I walked in with cuts on my face, hands and a leg and had no idea how they got there. This has happened many times before. Seriously burned myself a few months ago. He told me that eventually, during one of my blackouts, I will do something that will be life-threatening, and, being in a blackout, I won't realize it until, maybe its too late. I knew he was right. Scary stuff.
You ask if your actions warrant AA. I would ask you what you think....read your own post and decide if your actions seem like something that warrants help.
I would highly recommend going to a meeting and also dumping out the wine.
I would highly recommend going to a meeting and also dumping out the wine.
Ima,
I was also unable to eat at first. The mere thought or sight of food made me sick. I had been taking in so many calories through booze that I was never hungry and just could not eat.
A few days after stopping the grog, I started to get an appetite, slowly. Seventy days later, I now eat a lot and I eat proper food, not just junk, which when I was drinking was usually what I turned to if I did get hungry. And I enjoy it. I quite seriously only ate when I was drinking in order to survive.
You have many, many people rooting for you.
I was also unable to eat at first. The mere thought or sight of food made me sick. I had been taking in so many calories through booze that I was never hungry and just could not eat.
A few days after stopping the grog, I started to get an appetite, slowly. Seventy days later, I now eat a lot and I eat proper food, not just junk, which when I was drinking was usually what I turned to if I did get hungry. And I enjoy it. I quite seriously only ate when I was drinking in order to survive.
You have many, many people rooting for you.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
“I was MAJORLY intoxicated. I fell a few times, I woke up in bed and all the lights were on downstairs and in my room, I was half dressed for some reason, and I literally spent about an hour this morning just detangling my hair and I don't know how it got that way. And I spilled stuff all over myself and everything else. I was REALLY drunk. Today I feel so horrible. My head is pounding and my stomach is angry, I am shaking, etc. But I don't know if this warrants AA. I am a little scared of what I might do. Or if I may lose control of the situation. I still have some of the wine and I feel like I don't know if I want to throw it out and try to stay away from it or drink more. I just don't know what the right thing to do is here.”
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help other to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.
BE WELL
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help other to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.
BE WELL
You said that you are scared. I've been where you're at and it is scary. It stinks to wake up disoriented and not know what happened. That only stopped for me when I quit drinking. If you are interested in quitting drinking and want support then attending AA to see what it has to offer won't do any harm. I find it great to be around people who know what I am going through and are supportive. If you google chicago AA you can find the meetings nearest you very easily.
Try not to drink. Get some sleep. Hang in there.
Try not to drink. Get some sleep. Hang in there.
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