Need Advice - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-01-2014, 02:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
goody's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 15

Need Advice


Today is day one after drinking again. I went two weeks this time, but I have drank more times than I could count. Again, I tried to hide my drinking from my husband, but he found the empty beer cans in the garage. He is not talking to me and again and is leaving for his night shift. I told him before he left that I joined SoberRecovery and he told me that he does not care anymore; in all fairness, I have sworn off drinking many times before. I do not have anyone I can talk to as I no longer have close friends. Any advice would be appreciated.
goody is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to goody For This Useful Post:
BoozeFree (06-01-2014), HeadLump (06-01-2014), Hevyn (06-01-2014)
Old 06-01-2014, 02:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 458
You need to build a network of people. You might be best to go to physical meetings.
anykey is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to anykey For This Useful Post:
goody (06-01-2014)
Old 06-01-2014, 02:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Goldcoastgirl's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 643
Most people here have experienced that feeling of shame and feeling they have disappointed others, it hurts inside. How about you just start the day afresh and try not to beat yourself up. Give yourself a hug and be kind to yourself. I found it impossible to heal inside while I carry around that self hatred. Just baby steps and do something different today. Let us know how you are doing. We all understand x
__________________
"You are not broken and in need of fixing, you are wounded and in need of healing"
Goldcoastgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Goldcoastgirl For This Useful Post:
goody (06-01-2014)
Old 06-01-2014, 02:12 PM   #4 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 51,218
You will find lots of support and understanding here. We do know how hard this is.

I was like you and had made failed promises to my husband many times till he had given up. The thing is, each time you relapse it is harder physically and mentally to get back at it again. I hope you make you make this the beginning of your recovery.
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
goody (06-01-2014)
Old 06-01-2014, 02:16 PM   #5 (permalink)
Realising my life
 
HeadLump's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,676
Welcome, goody Glad to have you on board.

Your husband will come round in time, but you need to show him that you're serious and you can only do that by staying sober. My partner was disbelieving for a few weeks when I (finally) gave up. He is now very, very proud and extremely supportive, but I had to earn that.

If your husband doesn't have a drink problem himself, he will find it impossible to understand and could well be very frightened, too.

Show him that you mean business this time - and let us support you while you do it
__________________
27 Jan 2013 - my dawn of realisation
HeadLump is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to HeadLump For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-01-2014)
Old 06-01-2014, 02:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 174,976
Blog Entries: 1
Welcome Goody - you will find support and ideas here

It really helped me to draw on the communal strength I found here - it stopped me from, drinking more than once

why not join our Class of June support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ne-2014-a.html

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
goody (06-01-2014)
Old 06-01-2014, 02:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
GwenCummings's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 375
It's not just him who is disappointed in you... You are as well. Prove it to him but more importantly prove it to yourself that you can do this. Good luck.
__________________
GwenCummings is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to GwenCummings For This Useful Post:
goody (06-01-2014), HeadLump (06-01-2014)
Old 06-01-2014, 03:40 PM   #8 (permalink)
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: New York - Catskill Mtns.
Posts: 37,585
Hi goody. I'm sorry you're going through this rough time, but being among friends who understand will help. Hold your head up and make a new start - we know you can do it. Don't let anyone make you feel defeated. Glad you are with us.
__________________
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle

A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

Hevyn is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-01-2014)
Old 06-01-2014, 05:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
goody's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 15
Thank you HeadLump. What you said has made me feel a little bit better at a time when I feel just awful!

goody is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to goody For This Useful Post:
HeadLump (06-02-2014)
Old 06-01-2014, 05:25 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
goody's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 15
Thanks Hevyn for your very kind words of encouragement. Feeling a bit better now because of them!

goody is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2014, 05:27 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Mountainmanbob's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,186
Quote:
Originally Posted by goody View Post

I told him before he left that I joined SoberRecovery and he told me that he does not care anymore

Any advice would be appreciated.
the signs are there
he is very tired of you and what you are doing
don't take this lightly
many do and before they know it, it's (way) too late

this site is great
but
you may need more than this site so as to stay sober ???

I would find some local AA meetings ((fast))
get a homegroup
and
attend often

treatment may also be a good option

seems that the road sign is there for the reading
but
you need go no further down that road

MM
Mountainmanbob is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Mountainmanbob For This Useful Post:
goody (06-01-2014)
Old 06-01-2014, 05:28 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
goody's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 15
Thanks to All

Thank you all for your quick responses and solid advice. Feeling more connected to people who truly understand where I am coming from and where I want to be.


goody is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2014, 05:29 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
goody's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 15
Excellent advice!
goody is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:38 PM.