Hope for newcomers - 5 months today.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Hope for newcomers - 5 months today.
As I reflect over the past five months I have been through a lot of ups and downs. Mostly downs. Lost my job and was being rudely treated - back and forth and sideways talking from my "employer". One day they give me hope and the next they crush it. Dealing with disappointments and aggravations on the home front. Looking over the overwhelming amount of things I have neglected over the recent years. Sometimes I don't know where to begin.
Early I went to a lot of meetings just to get me out of the house. Otherwise I just avoided doing anything. It took some time for my mind and body to adjust to not constantly having a beer in my hand. The headaches and weird sleeping patterns in the early months. The lack of desire to get off my butt. Watching senseless and mundane television shows. Just vegging a lot.
The acceptance of my situation was what kept me going. I knew drinking was the cause of my situation. And no matter how many times I just wanted to drink a beer and feel ahhhhh, I did not. Whenever I felt the urge to want a beer, I came on SR and read posts. It always set me straight again. My understanding of how to conquer the AV (AVRT) was instrumental and still is to my sobriety. Seeing new people struggle and hoping I was able to encourage them, or just being silly sometimes, got me through my periods of melancholy.
I still get the urge to drink a beer when I am engaging in routine activities that I would usually drink doing. There weren't many that I didn't.
I recall my neighbor saying to me a month ago that he never saw me without a beer in my hand. I said,"Bull***," but he said, "Nope, you ALWAYS were drinking." Wow!
I still have a long way to go. And I am totally committed to this.
I will never drink again. And I will never change my mind.
Anyone can do this if you put your mind to it. Just don't pick up that drink.
LB
Early I went to a lot of meetings just to get me out of the house. Otherwise I just avoided doing anything. It took some time for my mind and body to adjust to not constantly having a beer in my hand. The headaches and weird sleeping patterns in the early months. The lack of desire to get off my butt. Watching senseless and mundane television shows. Just vegging a lot.
The acceptance of my situation was what kept me going. I knew drinking was the cause of my situation. And no matter how many times I just wanted to drink a beer and feel ahhhhh, I did not. Whenever I felt the urge to want a beer, I came on SR and read posts. It always set me straight again. My understanding of how to conquer the AV (AVRT) was instrumental and still is to my sobriety. Seeing new people struggle and hoping I was able to encourage them, or just being silly sometimes, got me through my periods of melancholy.
I still get the urge to drink a beer when I am engaging in routine activities that I would usually drink doing. There weren't many that I didn't.
I recall my neighbor saying to me a month ago that he never saw me without a beer in my hand. I said,"Bull***," but he said, "Nope, you ALWAYS were drinking." Wow!
I still have a long way to go. And I am totally committed to this.
I will never drink again. And I will never change my mind.
Anyone can do this if you put your mind to it. Just don't pick up that drink.
LB
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hey Brain, congrats on the great job staying sober, and thank you for this honest post 
Yes, it's definitely a turbulent journey but everyone says it gets much better with time if we continue working on it. You've been through a lot in your early sobriety. I relate to the apathy and not wanting to do anything on some days. In my case, I find it essential that I choose activities and interactions that really interest me to bridge these fluctuations.
I like what you said about how you started out with acceptance and making a definitive decision to never drink again. That's also how I started my ride. For me the extra reward from this type of cognitive approach is that as time goes by, I gain more self confidence from my ability to stick with this decision. This, for me, is I think related to my psychological preferences. Before heavy drinking became a problem for me, I always prided myself on being a very decisive individual - then one of the most difficult features of alcoholism and associated depression was how this ability got seriously messed up... so it's a good feeling now being able to stick with a decision and being committed.
I wish you all the best in continuing this and hope you stick around on SR
Yes, it's definitely a turbulent journey but everyone says it gets much better with time if we continue working on it. You've been through a lot in your early sobriety. I relate to the apathy and not wanting to do anything on some days. In my case, I find it essential that I choose activities and interactions that really interest me to bridge these fluctuations.
I like what you said about how you started out with acceptance and making a definitive decision to never drink again. That's also how I started my ride. For me the extra reward from this type of cognitive approach is that as time goes by, I gain more self confidence from my ability to stick with this decision. This, for me, is I think related to my psychological preferences. Before heavy drinking became a problem for me, I always prided myself on being a very decisive individual - then one of the most difficult features of alcoholism and associated depression was how this ability got seriously messed up... so it's a good feeling now being able to stick with a decision and being committed.
I wish you all the best in continuing this and hope you stick around on SR
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