120 Days Yesterday
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Los Angeles,CA
Posts: 150
120 Days Yesterday
As I was writing out my days on the May calendar, I saw that 120 landed on the day I was filling my calendar out. I felt the sense of satisfaction on another milestone attained, something I can be happy about this month. I didn't feel any different but gradually I've noticed that I've become accustomed to having a lifestyle without any imbibing.
I reflected the state I was in only a year ago. I was in state of mind where I wasn't sure if I was going to have to pay out of pocket for damages I caused during a business trip. During that trip that was only 3/4 days long, I was going out with my co-workers every night. While they recovered pretty well for the next day business we needed to do, I was still incredibly hungover and dehydrated. Then one night, we all went out to this nightclub and the friend I was hanging out with had to suddenly leave early. Once she left I didn't really have anybody to talk to so I took advantage of all the free drinks they were serving. We all came back home by taxi and we found out one of our co-workers was using the master bedroom for the night. For some reason I completely flipped out and threw bottles and glass at a co-worker that happened to be next to me and another glass hit the flat screen television and cracked it. I then managed to step all over the glass and cut my feet up. I had to be held by others to prevent myself from intentionally cutting my wrists. Out of nowhere I was suffering a nervous breakdown except it was during a business trip which meant that my boss was going to be notified about it. Long story short, I was able to retain my job as long as I saw a psychologist weekly. My co-workers forgave me and I've managed to survive that particular moment without any major scars. This year I decided not to do the business trip since I felt guilty for what I did and I didn't want to put myself in a vulnerable situation again.
I guess it's interesting to look back and realize the horrible state I was in a year ago compared to today where I'm of sharp mind and much more stable without habitually binge drinking. Thanks for reading my story.
I reflected the state I was in only a year ago. I was in state of mind where I wasn't sure if I was going to have to pay out of pocket for damages I caused during a business trip. During that trip that was only 3/4 days long, I was going out with my co-workers every night. While they recovered pretty well for the next day business we needed to do, I was still incredibly hungover and dehydrated. Then one night, we all went out to this nightclub and the friend I was hanging out with had to suddenly leave early. Once she left I didn't really have anybody to talk to so I took advantage of all the free drinks they were serving. We all came back home by taxi and we found out one of our co-workers was using the master bedroom for the night. For some reason I completely flipped out and threw bottles and glass at a co-worker that happened to be next to me and another glass hit the flat screen television and cracked it. I then managed to step all over the glass and cut my feet up. I had to be held by others to prevent myself from intentionally cutting my wrists. Out of nowhere I was suffering a nervous breakdown except it was during a business trip which meant that my boss was going to be notified about it. Long story short, I was able to retain my job as long as I saw a psychologist weekly. My co-workers forgave me and I've managed to survive that particular moment without any major scars. This year I decided not to do the business trip since I felt guilty for what I did and I didn't want to put myself in a vulnerable situation again.
I guess it's interesting to look back and realize the horrible state I was in a year ago compared to today where I'm of sharp mind and much more stable without habitually binge drinking. Thanks for reading my story.
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