An Alcoholic Routine!!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
How exhausting is being an alcoholic!
Just.....all of it. I think that's finally how I got to being sober....I honestly woke up one day, so sick, called in sick to work (as we all know is part of the downward spiral). I just laid there in that self-wallowing agony....the indigestion had gotten worse...I had constant dull pain in my liver.
I just thought I cannot call in sick and feel this $_it ever again. It was a Friday...and I downloaded a heap of books on alcoholism.
But boy...yes, the exhausting working weeks, and God forbid if there was work functions on. Then the total annihilation Friday night because no getting up Saturday....oh, til you go get something to eat....
oh hang on, I have no work tomorrow...well hell, I can't waste a good Saturday night not drinking....let's make it look dignified - I'll pretend I'm looking for a couple of nice bottles of red, everyone entertains on a Saturday night.
Fast forward to Sunday. Uggggh I feel terrible. 12 noon....hmmm Uggggh work tomorrow....if I start drinking now, I promise to get an early night so I don't show up hungover on Monday. Yes, that's it. Best I start drinking now.
Just.....all of it. I think that's finally how I got to being sober....I honestly woke up one day, so sick, called in sick to work (as we all know is part of the downward spiral). I just laid there in that self-wallowing agony....the indigestion had gotten worse...I had constant dull pain in my liver.
I just thought I cannot call in sick and feel this $_it ever again. It was a Friday...and I downloaded a heap of books on alcoholism.
But boy...yes, the exhausting working weeks, and God forbid if there was work functions on. Then the total annihilation Friday night because no getting up Saturday....oh, til you go get something to eat....
oh hang on, I have no work tomorrow...well hell, I can't waste a good Saturday night not drinking....let's make it look dignified - I'll pretend I'm looking for a couple of nice bottles of red, everyone entertains on a Saturday night.
Fast forward to Sunday. Uggggh I feel terrible. 12 noon....hmmm Uggggh work tomorrow....if I start drinking now, I promise to get an early night so I don't show up hungover on Monday. Yes, that's it. Best I start drinking now.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Originally Posted by ccam1973 
Dead on... That was my routine for 20 years. Day 8 sober and so glad that pattern is a thing of the past. Thanks for the reminder!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Originally Posted by Croissant
Good on you! How good does it feel just to get to 8 days!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by Croissant
How exhausting is being an alcoholic!
I never realized how much it took to drink. Not only the drinking or the getting the liquor but the mental exhaustion that goes on everyday. How tired the brain gets from obsessing about it.
The first dive into the fridge in the morning was not for milk for my coffee it was to check how much booze I had left. Then the mental calculations if I had enough money until payday to buy more. If I didn't then more mental calculations and looking through the bills to see what I could put off so I had the money. Not having booze was not an option.
The mental stress and fatigue that went on all day long as I counted down the hours until I could get home and drink. I would clock watch all day.
Never having the time to do anything because I had to go straight home to drink. If I needed booze I got it on my lunch hour, if I couldn't the stress of having to go to the liquor store after work was horrible. That extra 20 minutes felt like hours!
I could go on and on with all the ways my life was unmanageable.
I am so glad I do not have to live like that anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by shalette
Sounds like my life not too long ago!!!! I so can relate!!!! Thanks for the reminder! Day 3 again is great....
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 127
I can relate to some of these schedules, even though I'm not the alcoholic. It's my exabf.
So lucky for him during our relationship I was his personal driver on a daily basis beginning from as early as 7am to as late as 2am. Yup, my doing my fault. Here was his/our typical schedule on a daily basis....
6am - alarm goes off - he hits snooze.
6:15am - alarm goes off - he sleeps through it and I end up poking him to wake him up. He then drags himself out of bed & ends up locking himself in the bathroom for 30 minutes. Is he taking a shower? Taking a s**t? Throwing up? Or brushing teeth & mouth washing? Answer: All of the above, except taking a shower. I say this because he neglected his hygiene only taking showers once a week. He would give himself a bird bath every now & then wetting a wash cloth with hand soap and then drown himself in colone.
6:45am - He makes it downstairs cleaned up & dressed. Goes straight to the coffee pot and pour himself a cup of coffee, lots of cream & sugar.
6:50am - He goes outside to the backyard and drinks his coffee while he smoke cigarette after cigarette. In the mean time I'm sitting at the table staring at the clock thinking to myself (oh god, 10 til 7am. I need to get him to work by 7am and he's F***en taking him precious time. If I get him there late he'll b**ch at me and he'll end up throwing it un my face down the road.) I end up sticking my head out the sliding glass door "hey come on we literally have 10 minutes to get there!"
6:55am - We finally make it inside car but damn the windshield is all icy and the car needs to warm up before I drive off.
6:57am- We are off and I'm speeding! He then always says "I don't know why you always stress, they give us a 15 minute window to clock in and it would be held against us." Then I say "They're just telling you that to see if you'll take advantage of it. It's a test! Besides your a new employee and you should be there on time every time to show them that your worth keeping. Remember your probation is for three months, start screwing up now on attendance and consider yourself doomed!"
7:17am - We arrive at his work. alcoholic says "f**k, im 2 minutes late!" I on the other hand say "Technically your 17 minutes late but yeah have a good day."
4:00pm - I pick him up from work. First stop, the liquor store. He picks up a 12 pack of beer, cigarettes & a few tiny liquor bottles that he thinks I'm unaware of but oh yes I'm aware, very aware.
4:25pm - We arrive home and during this time he is always unpredictiable. Some days he may fix himself something to eat other days he may watch tv and then pass out on couch for a few hours and others days he goes straight to opening up his case of beer. I'd have to say opening up his case of beer always over ruled. Not to mention, he had a time frame of when he would open up his first beer until then he would smoke and listen to music in his phone and if I'm lucky he we would sit and have a nice conversation.
5:30pm- He opens up his first beer & finishes it within 15 minutes. I think to myself (1 down & 11 to go! Hmmm will he be a nice drunk or mean drunk tonight???)
7:00pm - Dinner is ready. However, he always says "save it for me I'll eat it later." I then say you haven't eaten anything since lunch time arn't you hungry??" he always replies back with "I had a big lunch."
8:00pm - I'm sitting on the couch alone watching our favorite show. He is outside in the backyard drinking and smoking.
9:00pm - Our time together doesn't exsist. I might as well go out with a few friends, grad a Starbucks, sing some karaoke, hell find a sober boyfriend while I'm at it! I'm kidding, kidding, oh so kidding...
11:00pm - I'm still waiting for him to join me in the couch as I sit alone. He continues to sit outside drink, smoke and stare out into thin air. yup, he's got the glossy eyes, unstable walk, so sweet behavior and outbursts of laughter here and there. Yup, the drunk is drunk.
11:05pm - he is feeling drunk and feeling good. He now joins me on the couch and we watch a favorite movie of our, I end up falling asleep on couch.
12:30am - I get waken up by the smell of food. He is warning up left overs from dinner and the movie is half way through. Not to mention, he is done drinking his 12 pack.
1:05am - He is done cooking and eating and now wants to watch another movie. I'm trying to keep my eyes open but I can't! I want to stay up and cuddle with him because he only like to cuddle when drunk, but I can't! In tired & all I want to do is go to bed.
1:45am - he is full off energy laughing and watching movie. I in the other hand call it a night. I remind him that he has work in 5 hours and that we are leaving 15 til 7am this time. He ignores me.
3:00am - I get waken up by him climbing into bed, passing out and smelling like alcohol.
6:0oam - His alarm goes off! And the day repeats itself for nine months straight!! God what was I thinking?!
So lucky for him during our relationship I was his personal driver on a daily basis beginning from as early as 7am to as late as 2am. Yup, my doing my fault. Here was his/our typical schedule on a daily basis....
6am - alarm goes off - he hits snooze.
6:15am - alarm goes off - he sleeps through it and I end up poking him to wake him up. He then drags himself out of bed & ends up locking himself in the bathroom for 30 minutes. Is he taking a shower? Taking a s**t? Throwing up? Or brushing teeth & mouth washing? Answer: All of the above, except taking a shower. I say this because he neglected his hygiene only taking showers once a week. He would give himself a bird bath every now & then wetting a wash cloth with hand soap and then drown himself in colone.
6:45am - He makes it downstairs cleaned up & dressed. Goes straight to the coffee pot and pour himself a cup of coffee, lots of cream & sugar.
6:50am - He goes outside to the backyard and drinks his coffee while he smoke cigarette after cigarette. In the mean time I'm sitting at the table staring at the clock thinking to myself (oh god, 10 til 7am. I need to get him to work by 7am and he's F***en taking him precious time. If I get him there late he'll b**ch at me and he'll end up throwing it un my face down the road.) I end up sticking my head out the sliding glass door "hey come on we literally have 10 minutes to get there!"
6:55am - We finally make it inside car but damn the windshield is all icy and the car needs to warm up before I drive off.
6:57am- We are off and I'm speeding! He then always says "I don't know why you always stress, they give us a 15 minute window to clock in and it would be held against us." Then I say "They're just telling you that to see if you'll take advantage of it. It's a test! Besides your a new employee and you should be there on time every time to show them that your worth keeping. Remember your probation is for three months, start screwing up now on attendance and consider yourself doomed!"
7:17am - We arrive at his work. alcoholic says "f**k, im 2 minutes late!" I on the other hand say "Technically your 17 minutes late but yeah have a good day."
4:00pm - I pick him up from work. First stop, the liquor store. He picks up a 12 pack of beer, cigarettes & a few tiny liquor bottles that he thinks I'm unaware of but oh yes I'm aware, very aware.
4:25pm - We arrive home and during this time he is always unpredictiable. Some days he may fix himself something to eat other days he may watch tv and then pass out on couch for a few hours and others days he goes straight to opening up his case of beer. I'd have to say opening up his case of beer always over ruled. Not to mention, he had a time frame of when he would open up his first beer until then he would smoke and listen to music in his phone and if I'm lucky he we would sit and have a nice conversation.
5:30pm- He opens up his first beer & finishes it within 15 minutes. I think to myself (1 down & 11 to go! Hmmm will he be a nice drunk or mean drunk tonight???)
7:00pm - Dinner is ready. However, he always says "save it for me I'll eat it later." I then say you haven't eaten anything since lunch time arn't you hungry??" he always replies back with "I had a big lunch."
8:00pm - I'm sitting on the couch alone watching our favorite show. He is outside in the backyard drinking and smoking.
9:00pm - Our time together doesn't exsist. I might as well go out with a few friends, grad a Starbucks, sing some karaoke, hell find a sober boyfriend while I'm at it! I'm kidding, kidding, oh so kidding...
11:00pm - I'm still waiting for him to join me in the couch as I sit alone. He continues to sit outside drink, smoke and stare out into thin air. yup, he's got the glossy eyes, unstable walk, so sweet behavior and outbursts of laughter here and there. Yup, the drunk is drunk.
11:05pm - he is feeling drunk and feeling good. He now joins me on the couch and we watch a favorite movie of our, I end up falling asleep on couch.
12:30am - I get waken up by the smell of food. He is warning up left overs from dinner and the movie is half way through. Not to mention, he is done drinking his 12 pack.
1:05am - He is done cooking and eating and now wants to watch another movie. I'm trying to keep my eyes open but I can't! I want to stay up and cuddle with him because he only like to cuddle when drunk, but I can't! In tired & all I want to do is go to bed.
1:45am - he is full off energy laughing and watching movie. I in the other hand call it a night. I remind him that he has work in 5 hours and that we are leaving 15 til 7am this time. He ignores me.
3:00am - I get waken up by him climbing into bed, passing out and smelling like alcohol.
6:0oam - His alarm goes off! And the day repeats itself for nine months straight!! God what was I thinking?!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Thanks for your post, Roxxy. Thankfully for my ex I had broken up with him before my routine deteriorated to something resembling the above. Since getting sober, I regretted breaking up with him so very much. Thank you for posting the above from your perspective - I am so very grateful right this moment that I did let him go before I risked putting him through that.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: san mateo, ca.
Posts: 80
I can relate to the morning reeking! Wow! Thought with all the mints would hide the smell! I would talk about 3 ft away so nobody would smell it! It was seeping out of my pours! It's a miracle my old boss never said anything ...even in the summer ...pouring sweat! Them days are gone! Day 115 tomorrow!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 190
Thanks for the reminder! I can completely relate to that routine. I'm actually at the point myself where there is no way I am able to wake up and get to work that early in the morning if I drank the night before. I USED to be able to and I would go through this exact routine, but I've accepted the fact that, now, I'll call into work, sleep until about 1pm, and probably remain hung over until 8pm.
I like the sober version much better, although sometimes getting out of bed still sucks hahaha. "Ugh, I could use at least 2 more hours of sleep", but theres functionality upon getting out of bed.
I like the sober version much better, although sometimes getting out of bed still sucks hahaha. "Ugh, I could use at least 2 more hours of sleep", but theres functionality upon getting out of bed.
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