NeonTiger

That's right! 118 days since my last drink. Which means I've not touched a drop in 2014.

I always wanted to share my story with you guys but never felt able to. Lack of energy, fear of reading my own story, a few reasons I guess. I've been a lurker on the forums for the last few years and have wanted to stop for a long time and decided on 27th December 2013 that enough was enough, I was slowly killing myself. I never really saw it as a drink problem as I suffer from depression, that was the problem for me, and alcohol numbed it. For a few hours. Then I'd feel 50 times worse for at least 3 days after stopping a binge drinking session. I was pretty good at hiding my issues, a functional drinker I guess, as I work full time through the week, didn't touch a drop throughout the week, but could easily see off 100+ units on the weekend to try and hide away from life and its problems. This was a weekly thing, feel like **** in work from Monday to Thursday then do it all over again Friday night. I was effectively putting myself through withdrawal every single week, the horrendous shakes, cold sweats, insomnia for 3 days straight to the point I'd cry because I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep. Thankfully I have no kids or dependants that had to rely on me so I was only destroying my own life. I turn 29 next month, I'd say I've been a heavy drinker for 5 years so I'm grateful for every sober day now and how I feel I've managed to catch it before it is too late. My 20s have been miserable with the drink, the fact I'm overweight and stuff... but I've been hitting the gym and eating well since I've stopped, have lost over a stone so far and I feel better than ever. I'm so excited to turn 30 whereas there were times I'd wonder if I'd ever make it that far from drinking myself to death or leaving my depression get the better of me whilst drunk and doing something stupid to hurt myself. It doesn't feel like I'm losing out on not drinking (which is how I was convinced quitting would be like). On the contrary, it feels like I've gained so much. I can comfortably say I will happily never touch another drink again.

That's pretty much the jist of my story. I just wanted to say, and I'm sure there are many other lurkers who are just like me, thank you to each and every single one of you for sharing your stories. My withdrawals lasting in to the first few days of the new year were made a little easier by reading people's stories and it made me feel like I wasn't alone.

It made me realise that it's never too late to take a stand. I felt I had nothing to live for this time last year, now I feel like life is just beginning. Again, thank you so much for sharing your stories. I wish everyone all the luck in the world with their sobriety.

Thank you, guys and gals. Xx

resolute50

Congrats on 118 days,WELL DONE!!!

I really like this statement,"It doesn't feel like I'm losing out on not drinking (which is how I was convinced quitting would be like). On the contrary, it feels like I've gained so much."

I feel the same way.

least

Thank you for sharing your story. It might help a newcomer in need of strength. And congrats on your sober time!

NeonTiger

That is the honest truth, I was so convinced I needed to be drinking to have fun with my friends and such, since I've stopped it's made me realise (luckily!) how little my friends actually drink and how I have far more fun sober as I can actually remember the good times and make some new memories, whereas when drunk the memories were just grey clouds. I'm really lucky to have a close circle of friends who are very light drinkers really, who are never pushy and totally respect my decision not to drink. I think they like me being the designated driver as well

vincho

Hey awesome job man! I envy you. I recently just quit (again) and am on day 6. Your story pretty much describes mine, word for word. I am in my mid twenties and can relate to the ****y week and then drinking all weekend to "forget about life and have a good time". I drank hard for 4-5 years and I felt my health plummet and my depression was god awful for 3-4 days after the weekend. It really sucked and I am surprised that it took me so long to put 2 and 2 together. Alcohol is a hard battle, especially with depression. I hope that this time I can stay clean and see the light of sobriety like you. Congratulations and thank you for sharing your story.

ChickChick

Congrats on 118 days, that is fantastic! And thank you so much for sharing your story.

NeonTiger

One other thing, there is a wonderful app called "Stop Drinking Alcohol App" on the Google Play store which has a tick off calendar to keep track of your sobriety alongside many inspirational sobriety related quotes. It is free (but I upgraded to the paid version which gives extra quotes as I was so impressed). I highly recommend it as the quotes really helped me get in the right mindset and it is nice to tick off day by day. I'm not affiliated with the app or anything, just think it's brilliant

SoberLeigh

Thanks, NeonTiger, for sharing your story. Congratulations on 118 sober days. Wonderful to hear you are doing so well.

NeonTiger

Thank you for your kind words. If I can do it, I promise you can do it too. Depression gets so much easier to manage when you're sober as well. I was always told exercise helps but was always dubious, but joining a gym has done more for me than Prozac, Citalopram and Mirtazopine have ever managed. There's a long way to go as I'm still a lard-butt but the exercise is making me feel amazing and the weight is flying off me. The emotional buzz post gym beats anything alcohol ever did for me.

phoenixbot

Thanks for sharing! I can't wait to hit 118 days. It's so encouraging to hear others reflect on how worth it it's been.

Upward2Enlightenment

Great Job on the 118 days

iSPAZ

Congrats Neon Tiger!!!

NeonTiger

Thank you everyone for your kind words. You have no idea how appreciated they are x

Stoogy

Hi NeonTiger, just been reading your awesome post, really relate to this and the timescale is pretty much bang on with mine, 8th December 2013 for me. Kind of like being born again to be honest and I would not change it for the world. Love life and if anything I'm a bit depressed that I waited as long as I did to kick that disgusting life draining disease we call alcoholism.
Look forward to more of your posts, you are doing the most awesome thing.
Congratulations.

Marleyjb187

Congrats on 118 days, I felt I was reading my life word for word. I am glad too see you have came so far.

Keepintheday

Thanks so much for posting your story. That sounds exactly like me, can so relate to the misery of Monday - Thursday in the office and then the all weekend bender which of course was in fact misery as well, or just putting off the misery to come again the following week. Congrats on your sobriety and the changes you are seeing! I want some of that!! :-)

NeonTiger

It's both comforting and also crazy that other people have a similar story to my own. I think we've all kidded ourselves that because we didn't drink through the week and that we could hold down an office job that we weren't alcoholics. I guess the stereotypical alcoholic doesn't really exist any more huh? It's not necessarily the down and out unemployed homeless guy - we come from all walks of life.

Thanks again for the kind words. X

Thepatman

Thanks for posting this, you have just inspired a chronic Alcoholic.

On day 2 from another relapse (I could write a book on this) strength slowly coming back.

Never made it passed 100 days, thanks for making me see the other side,

IWLSAST

Congrats on your sober journey! Thanks for sharing your story.

NeonTiger

I never thought I'd make it this far. I thought life would suck without booze. How wrong I was, I'm hoping you'll see the same soon. Stay strong and good luck with your sobriety, friend.