your success w aa or avert or rational or ...
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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your success w aa or avert or rational or ...
Hi everyone, this is the newly recovering obsessive but with valid questions me again 
.
OK, so would you mind posting a brief(or longer, if you wish) post regarding your success using any method? aa, avert, SOS, anything ...
I'm clear that I have a problem. And there's a lot I like about aa. I also get the reasoning behind programs like avert- as much as I've read, anyway.
Anyway, without this becoming controversial, and keeping it positive, could you just say something like, "I've been sober/recovered x long. I go to x. (Or I do x).
I am struggling tonite especially. And I also know I need help. There's an aa meeting I'm contemplating...
Just needing a little help w direction. I know there's a lot I still don't understand so my opinions at this point are still up in the air.
I also believe there's proof in the puddin'!
Please share your story
. OK, so would you mind posting a brief(or longer, if you wish) post regarding your success using any method? aa, avert, SOS, anything ...
I'm clear that I have a problem. And there's a lot I like about aa. I also get the reasoning behind programs like avert- as much as I've read, anyway.
Anyway, without this becoming controversial, and keeping it positive, could you just say something like, "I've been sober/recovered x long. I go to x. (Or I do x).
I am struggling tonite especially. And I also know I need help. There's an aa meeting I'm contemplating...
Just needing a little help w direction. I know there's a lot I still don't understand so my opinions at this point are still up in the air.
I also believe there's proof in the puddin'!
Please share your story
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
SR, books (Kick the Drink Easily by Jason Vale really appealed to my logical side), dedication to giving sobriety a fair shot to make a fair comparison (I had given 27 years to drinking, a few weeks of sobriety is not a fair shot), in the first few weeks of sobriety if I had to go to bed early versus drink, I did. I also keep a sobriety journal where I record helpful quotes from SR, a list of all my terrible, horrible, scary drunken moments, a good-bye letter to alcohol and a list of all the positives that come with sobriety. Give it a fair shot. You won't be sorry. I am almost seven months sober and never drinking again does not sound nearly as daunting and impossible as it did in the first weeks of sobriety.
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Location: Australia
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I agree with Anna - the motivation is important, and I think it's actually more important than the method..
I didn't use any programme, but I used the hell out of these forums.
I didn't want to drink again, I didn't want to die and I wanted to change my life and reach my potential as a human being.
This is the short version of what I did:
I didn't use any programme, but I used the hell out of these forums.
I didn't want to drink again, I didn't want to die and I wanted to change my life and reach my potential as a human being.
This is the short version of what I did:
Originally Posted by YoungerDee
I think most folks know my story.
The turning point for me was acceptance - acceptance that I was an alcoholic - and the acceptance that I could not drink 'like everyone else'.
So I stopped drinking. I did everything I could to maintain that commitment. I still do, nearly 3 years on - every day.
I nearly died, so fear played a large part in that - I also spent a lot of time here@ SR reaching out, and a lot of time tossing and turning, kicking the walls and deliberately not going out when all I wanted was to run down the road and get a bottle.
It's not easy but I believe it is possible to do that and not give in to the inner voice. The folks here helped me immensely by giving me faith in myself when I had none.
But yeah, not drinking only got me so far. I see not drinking as only the first step in a long journey. I had to change the person I was too.
My alcoholism *became* all pervasive but I believe I *started* to drink for definite reasons - mostly to fill a void within myself.
To heal my 'void', the first step is to stop poisoning myself with drink. I then had to get into what the void was, and how best I could start healing it.
It was a paradox for me to discover that the way towards that was not by thinking more about it, but actually thinking less, and doing more.
I did a lot of service work here, and still do because it helps me to be of service and to give back after many years of taking. It also helps keep me grounded and in perspective.
I also rediscovered my spiritual side - my initial recovery was secular - just don't drink...but it's hard to ignore the wonder in this world when you really start to recover.
It's hard for me to drink when I'm connected to the world in a more than a material way, and when I'm humble and grateful for the blessings I get everyday.
You know I could go on, but that's enough really LOL.
I'm not looking to start a school - I hope my experience helps others but I'm just a guy who found what he needed because he really wanted to quit and he looked hard enough for the way that worked for him.
I encourage everyone to do that. Start the process right away tho - don't wait for 'your way' to fall into your lap - you'll only find 'your way' by going out looking for it, trying a bunch of stuff - and not drinking.
I learned from every single step on my journey - successes and mistakes, friends and foe alike.
But I always kept walking forwards, not backwards
D
The turning point for me was acceptance - acceptance that I was an alcoholic - and the acceptance that I could not drink 'like everyone else'.
So I stopped drinking. I did everything I could to maintain that commitment. I still do, nearly 3 years on - every day.
I nearly died, so fear played a large part in that - I also spent a lot of time here@ SR reaching out, and a lot of time tossing and turning, kicking the walls and deliberately not going out when all I wanted was to run down the road and get a bottle.
It's not easy but I believe it is possible to do that and not give in to the inner voice. The folks here helped me immensely by giving me faith in myself when I had none.
But yeah, not drinking only got me so far. I see not drinking as only the first step in a long journey. I had to change the person I was too.
My alcoholism *became* all pervasive but I believe I *started* to drink for definite reasons - mostly to fill a void within myself.
To heal my 'void', the first step is to stop poisoning myself with drink. I then had to get into what the void was, and how best I could start healing it.
It was a paradox for me to discover that the way towards that was not by thinking more about it, but actually thinking less, and doing more.
I did a lot of service work here, and still do because it helps me to be of service and to give back after many years of taking. It also helps keep me grounded and in perspective.
I also rediscovered my spiritual side - my initial recovery was secular - just don't drink...but it's hard to ignore the wonder in this world when you really start to recover.
It's hard for me to drink when I'm connected to the world in a more than a material way, and when I'm humble and grateful for the blessings I get everyday.
You know I could go on, but that's enough really LOL.
I'm not looking to start a school - I hope my experience helps others but I'm just a guy who found what he needed because he really wanted to quit and he looked hard enough for the way that worked for him.
I encourage everyone to do that. Start the process right away tho - don't wait for 'your way' to fall into your lap - you'll only find 'your way' by going out looking for it, trying a bunch of stuff - and not drinking.
I learned from every single step on my journey - successes and mistakes, friends and foe alike.
But I always kept walking forwards, not backwards
D
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I agree with Anna: motivation is more important than the method used.
I am happily in AA but I know people who have recovered using diverse methods (and there are a lot of them on SR too).
I also think that acceptance is key when it comes to staying sober regardless of what program you use. I am an alcoholic and I can never drink safely again and I am ok with it. It is what it is.
Like Double Dragon alluded to, it can be daunting and overwhelming at first this is why you might want to break down your sobriety in increments of 24 hours until you feel more solid. If you are not already a member, here is the link to the 24 hours club http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4608961
I am happily in AA but I know people who have recovered using diverse methods (and there are a lot of them on SR too).
I also think that acceptance is key when it comes to staying sober regardless of what program you use. I am an alcoholic and I can never drink safely again and I am ok with it. It is what it is.
Like Double Dragon alluded to, it can be daunting and overwhelming at first this is why you might want to break down your sobriety in increments of 24 hours until you feel more solid. If you are not already a member, here is the link to the 24 hours club http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4608961
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
I did a month of inpatient…it was like a bucket of cold water in the face. It made me understand the seriousness of what I was dealing with, and it gave me a safe place to get started.
Since then I use SR a lot, go to a therapist once a week. I curtailed my life sharply for the first six months. I am coming up on 10 months and I am amazed at the things I am now able to accomplish without even thinking of drinking. (I just had my mother AND my mother-in-law here for a week…
)! But I can say I would not have been able to handle that 8 months ago.
At first I felt like modifying my life was cheating or something, I made a point of not putting myself into situations where I would feel resentful. As I slowly started to push my boundaries out I did so from a position of strength. As of now I have gone on vacation sober, traveled to help a friend in another part of the country sober, entertained sober...
The beauty of this is that I am seeing significant progress. I have learned to identify when I am uncomfortable and I have learned to sit in that discomfort and try to understand the dynamics of what is causing agitation. I guess this is what could be termed "surrender", learning that feelings won't kill me. It is an empowering feeling, better than any drug I have ever put in my body. Learning that we have everything we need within us is somewhat awe inspiring.
I would say the best advice I could give is to set your own pace and don't expect your life to stay the same. I believe sobriety is a very personal journey and it has to be something that you feel protective about.
Since then I use SR a lot, go to a therapist once a week. I curtailed my life sharply for the first six months. I am coming up on 10 months and I am amazed at the things I am now able to accomplish without even thinking of drinking. (I just had my mother AND my mother-in-law here for a week…
)! But I can say I would not have been able to handle that 8 months ago.At first I felt like modifying my life was cheating or something, I made a point of not putting myself into situations where I would feel resentful. As I slowly started to push my boundaries out I did so from a position of strength. As of now I have gone on vacation sober, traveled to help a friend in another part of the country sober, entertained sober...
The beauty of this is that I am seeing significant progress. I have learned to identify when I am uncomfortable and I have learned to sit in that discomfort and try to understand the dynamics of what is causing agitation. I guess this is what could be termed "surrender", learning that feelings won't kill me. It is an empowering feeling, better than any drug I have ever put in my body. Learning that we have everything we need within us is somewhat awe inspiring.
I would say the best advice I could give is to set your own pace and don't expect your life to stay the same. I believe sobriety is a very personal journey and it has to be something that you feel protective about.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
A poster made a good point in a different thread:
"In addition to making amends, the only thing I can do is make a better life for myself, which now includes easing the pain and suffering of other people".
I am now at almost 6 months sober. I think what made this time different is that I am trying to focus less on myself and on others more. Like sometimes my dad brings me a cup of tea in bed in the morning. He leans over to kiss my forehead and I can see his face relax when he doesn't get the smell of booze. I also see a therapist once a week and it has made such a difference to my life. My family tell me that I am more relaxed and smiley when I come home from a session.
I also read SR A LOT! I don't always post but I am usually logged in on the laptop or my phone when I'm in town. I also read a lot of books...my absolute favourite being "Drinking: A Love Story". I keep it by my bed and sometimes I will re-read a chapter or two.
I have started doing some volunteer work with meals on wheels. The absolute worst thing for me to do is isolate, so I really push myself to get out, even if it is just a walk around by the lake. And I am more grateful these days. I am not where I want to be yet, but I am closer than I was 6 months ago. I am alive.
"In addition to making amends, the only thing I can do is make a better life for myself, which now includes easing the pain and suffering of other people".
I am now at almost 6 months sober. I think what made this time different is that I am trying to focus less on myself and on others more. Like sometimes my dad brings me a cup of tea in bed in the morning. He leans over to kiss my forehead and I can see his face relax when he doesn't get the smell of booze. I also see a therapist once a week and it has made such a difference to my life. My family tell me that I am more relaxed and smiley when I come home from a session.
I also read SR A LOT! I don't always post but I am usually logged in on the laptop or my phone when I'm in town. I also read a lot of books...my absolute favourite being "Drinking: A Love Story". I keep it by my bed and sometimes I will re-read a chapter or two.
I have started doing some volunteer work with meals on wheels. The absolute worst thing for me to do is isolate, so I really push myself to get out, even if it is just a walk around by the lake. And I am more grateful these days. I am not where I want to be yet, but I am closer than I was 6 months ago. I am alive.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
Thank you. This is day 14 for me. I'm not turning back. I'm just weary. And I know what that has led to in the past. So I'm doing what I can to prevent that.
Thank you D for your story. Very inspirational. I have felt peace a lot in life. But the more I becAme dependent on my nightly "fix" to "unwind", the more I think I've come to look away from whAt brings me real peace. It's like there are areas of my heart that I can't let go.
But you are all correct in that I need to focus more on just taking the next step and less on the how's and whys. This is scary and I'm overwhelmed.
Alcoholism/addiction has taken the lives of much of my family. Since I began this road of coming out of denial and beginning recovery a little over a week ago, I've had good moments/ days even.
And I've had days of crying and realizing that this is more than just a drinking problem.
And I didn't even see it.
Thanks for your patience. Knowing that you are where you are and with compassion and wisdom is so inspiring for me.
❤️
Thank you D for your story. Very inspirational. I have felt peace a lot in life. But the more I becAme dependent on my nightly "fix" to "unwind", the more I think I've come to look away from whAt brings me real peace. It's like there are areas of my heart that I can't let go.
But you are all correct in that I need to focus more on just taking the next step and less on the how's and whys. This is scary and I'm overwhelmed.
Alcoholism/addiction has taken the lives of much of my family. Since I began this road of coming out of denial and beginning recovery a little over a week ago, I've had good moments/ days even.
And I've had days of crying and realizing that this is more than just a drinking problem.
And I didn't even see it.
Thanks for your patience. Knowing that you are where you are and with compassion and wisdom is so inspiring for me.
❤️
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
At first I felt like modifying my life was cheating or something, I made a point of not putting myself into situations where I would feel resentful. As I slowly started to push my boundaries out I did so from a position of strength. As of now I have gone on vacation sober, traveled to help a friend in another part of the country sober, entertained sober...
.
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Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
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http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rd-2014-a.html
been AA for me. however I dont care as long as whatever ya chose works for you. if it aint workin, try something else.
been AA for me. however I dont care as long as whatever ya chose works for you. if it aint workin, try something else.
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Originally Posted by Tetra 
favourite being "Drinking: A Love Story". I keep it by my bed and sometimes I will re-read a chapter or two.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Got sober in AA.
The willingness to go to any length to remain sober is a key ingredient in any method used.
Recovery is dramatic change in life style. If your friends are heavy drinkers, it's imperative, you distance yourself from them in early recovery. Good idea to stay away from bars and clubs as well in the first year.
I stayed busy my first year of sobriety. I do believe idle hands and minds are the devil's workshop . Good idea to have a support system. Let your family and friends know you've made a choice to abstain from alchohol. Give them any reason you so desire be it health, emotional etc.
The willingness to go to any length to remain sober is a key ingredient in any method used.
Recovery is dramatic change in life style. If your friends are heavy drinkers, it's imperative, you distance yourself from them in early recovery. Good idea to stay away from bars and clubs as well in the first year.
I stayed busy my first year of sobriety. I do believe idle hands and minds are the devil's workshop . Good idea to have a support system. Let your family and friends know you've made a choice to abstain from alchohol. Give them any reason you so desire be it health, emotional etc.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
Thanks- My problem is the opposite. I'm isolated and dealing with this alone(outside of supportive spouse which counts for a lot)for different reasons. But my mind is made up. And I will do whatever it takes. Like embarrass myself with another post .
.
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Posts: 211,444
Originally Posted by anna
this book is my all-time favourite too and i've read it cover to cover three times. Each time, i notice something i missed previously. it's the book that made me believe that if she could do it, i could do it.
d
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Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by izzy8
Thanks- My problem is the opposite. I'm isolated and dealing with this alone(outside of supportive spouse which counts for a lot)for different reasons. But my mind is made up. And I will do whatever it takes. Like embarrass myself with another post .
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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Posts: 12,000
I went to a meeting tonight and the topic ended up being about honesty.
YOUNGERDEE'S post hit home with me. People were talking about finally getting honest with themselves and admitting they were alcoholics before they got serious. Some said they were drinking for twenty years before they finally got honest and admitted they were alcoholic.
I shared.
I said I honestly knew I was an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. I knew and I didn't care because I was doing alright drinking - not rock bottom yet. The honesty for me really came when I finally ACCEPTED that I was alcoholic.
Once I accepted it, it was time to do something. I haven't had a drink since nor do I intend to ever drink again. None of this one day at a time for me. No more ever! That was all it took for me. I read the avrt stuff, I read the big book, I go to meetings. I knew I just could never drink again and I held to it and plan to hold to it. What confirmed for me that I could hold to it, beside I knew I could, was taking the AVRT crash course. I remember posting that I got my PhD one night. That's it plain and simple. As for the 12 steps and all that, I realize there are things I need to change about myself. I don't need a higher power. I just need some direction and focus. The Bodhisattva, rule 62, whatever. Empower yourself.
If you are into reading, try The Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa available from Shambahala Publications. This is my twelve steps.
YOUNGERDEE'S post hit home with me. People were talking about finally getting honest with themselves and admitting they were alcoholics before they got serious. Some said they were drinking for twenty years before they finally got honest and admitted they were alcoholic.
I shared.
I said I honestly knew I was an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. I knew and I didn't care because I was doing alright drinking - not rock bottom yet. The honesty for me really came when I finally ACCEPTED that I was alcoholic.
Once I accepted it, it was time to do something. I haven't had a drink since nor do I intend to ever drink again. None of this one day at a time for me. No more ever! That was all it took for me. I read the avrt stuff, I read the big book, I go to meetings. I knew I just could never drink again and I held to it and plan to hold to it. What confirmed for me that I could hold to it, beside I knew I could, was taking the AVRT crash course. I remember posting that I got my PhD one night. That's it plain and simple. As for the 12 steps and all that, I realize there are things I need to change about myself. I don't need a higher power. I just need some direction and focus. The Bodhisattva, rule 62, whatever. Empower yourself.
If you are into reading, try The Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa available from Shambahala Publications. This is my twelve steps.
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