letitgo

Thanks for the tough love Fandy. You are right. Being a nice and understanding husband is more important then flowers. I can not fix these issues now but I can apologize, be more empathetic, and become a better person through my actions in the future. I just feel bad that I was a jerk to her and wanted to vent. Thanks for putting me in my place. (again selfishness of alcoholism. The world does not revolve around us.) Being a supportive person and having a safe delivery is what I need to focus on.

letitgo

Deeker, I made it to my first meeting on Easter ironically. I drove to a meeting early in the morning but they were closed due to the holiday. Then I drove to another one a few towns over. I was welcomed right away. People told me their stories of darkness and how they lost most of everything. I have not hit that point. It was truly a real eye opener. I also learned why step 1 is so important. If you have one drink it will send you spiraling for another few years or to death. I am lucky that I have not been to the depths of many there but blessed their experiences had such an impact my thoughts about drinking 1-2 on the holiday. I look forward to going back. I was also the youngest one there. And they all said man I wished I quit drinking when I was your age. They referred to all the time they lost with family members an reckless behaviors and people lost to addictions. Alcohol is fun at first. Makes you loose and on top of the world. But then it becomes a necessity to function and turns you into addict. That's certainty no way to live.