Another first time AA meeting thread :)
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I actually shared a bit in the meeting... like how I started my drinking habit as a grad student to ease some anxieties and insecurities... and how it led into ~a decade of sinus curve like behaviors.
When I was walking down into the meeting room in the building, I ran into a very friendly lady. I was not sure where the meeting was, so just asked this woman "I'm here for an AA meeting, do you know by chance where it is"? Just like that. She was immediately very helpful directing me. She also decided to sit next to me in the meeting. And gave her phone number.
After the meeting, I found myself approached by a guy and we walked to the nearby subway station together. Pleasant conversation, nothing too deep.
What happened in between...in my mind mostly... later
When I was walking down into the meeting room in the building, I ran into a very friendly lady. I was not sure where the meeting was, so just asked this woman "I'm here for an AA meeting, do you know by chance where it is"? Just like that. She was immediately very helpful directing me. She also decided to sit next to me in the meeting. And gave her phone number.
After the meeting, I found myself approached by a guy and we walked to the nearby subway station together. Pleasant conversation, nothing too deep.
What happened in between...in my mind mostly... later
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Well, friends... there is a lot more to my story now. Confession time...
I've had performance review meeting with my employer today. Not good. They actually scored me better and above my own own scoring and evaluation of myself for the review period. Still not good.
Anyhow, I'm fearing losing this job. ALL due to my self-destructive and useless attitudes during the past ~3 years... before getting sober this January, OK... 3 months won't fix all those years.
Those of you that got to know me and my history, preferences, etc well, may see how devastating losing this current job might be for me.
Anyhow, yet another vivid story of cause and effect, I think!
I've had performance review meeting with my employer today. Not good. They actually scored me better and above my own own scoring and evaluation of myself for the review period. Still not good.
Anyhow, I'm fearing losing this job. ALL due to my self-destructive and useless attitudes during the past ~3 years... before getting sober this January, OK... 3 months won't fix all those years.
Those of you that got to know me and my history, preferences, etc well, may see how devastating losing this current job might be for me.
Anyhow, yet another vivid story of cause and effect, I think!
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I apologize for breaking my own thread here. So basically what happened on Monday: I had that discussion with my employer I wrote about in the above post, and went to my first AA meeting right after (I really did not feel like doing that but wanted to stick with my scheduled decision). Did not get very much out of the AA meeting in that mental state since I was so preoccupied by the work issue...
So, the work issue. I will have a second meeting with the employer Friday afternoon. Actually since the morning after the first one, I've been thinking more and more that this process might eventually lead me to a much better, more satisfying position, and just need to ride it out. Pretty unlikely they would fire me or even consider that vaguely, I think... I'd contributed to this organization far too much, I think, with all my flaws and idiosyncrasies ... but we'll see. All of my employers so far (>15 years) have tended to tolerate most of my eccentricities, it's just that in this last job during the past ~3 years with drinking habits the combination had gotten very extreme, I think. I think I would not tolerate that either, in a "normal" world, and no one should.
Anyhow, so plan to go to more AA meetings and actually focus on them, this issue was a distraction.
So, the work issue. I will have a second meeting with the employer Friday afternoon. Actually since the morning after the first one, I've been thinking more and more that this process might eventually lead me to a much better, more satisfying position, and just need to ride it out. Pretty unlikely they would fire me or even consider that vaguely, I think... I'd contributed to this organization far too much, I think, with all my flaws and idiosyncrasies ... but we'll see. All of my employers so far (>15 years) have tended to tolerate most of my eccentricities, it's just that in this last job during the past ~3 years with drinking habits the combination had gotten very extreme, I think. I think I would not tolerate that either, in a "normal" world, and no one should.
Anyhow, so plan to go to more AA meetings and actually focus on them, this issue was a distraction.
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Hey everyone, sorry about the break again... so that job issue has been sorted, no issue anymore. Can continue with my "dream job" I feel very humbled and grateful.
Back to AA meetings. I've gone to only 4 meetings so far, but am quite interested in and actually, fascinated by, the different dynamics. What many of you have predicted and suggested. So, thank you.
I'm starting to feel more strongly that perhaps I would want to continue all this with working the steps with a sponsor. The question I have right now: don't think I would have time, or more precisely, I would want to designate more time than 1-3 AA meetings and interactions with sponsor per week, at this time. I just have so much going on, and am also interested in other approaches, such as psychotherapy, let alone other interests...
Have you had good experiences doing the 12-step work in a little less intense way? I think 1-2 meetings a week and similar intensity with sponsor interaction might work for me.
Please share
I feel very humbled and grateful.Back to AA meetings. I've gone to only 4 meetings so far, but am quite interested in and actually, fascinated by, the different dynamics. What many of you have predicted and suggested. So, thank you.
I'm starting to feel more strongly that perhaps I would want to continue all this with working the steps with a sponsor. The question I have right now: don't think I would have time, or more precisely, I would want to designate more time than 1-3 AA meetings and interactions with sponsor per week, at this time. I just have so much going on, and am also interested in other approaches, such as psychotherapy, let alone other interests...
Have you had good experiences doing the 12-step work in a little less intense way? I think 1-2 meetings a week and similar intensity with sponsor interaction might work for me.
Please share
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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Just want to relate my experience with this:
I've lost two pretty sweet jobs in the last year. I had a lot of people tell me to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. I usually kept up with it for a bit, and then started to miss meetings and not call my sponsor or anyone I'd met. Come, say, day seven or day eight, I'd feel a lot stronger and less panicky and like I didn't REALLY need the meetings. And then suddenly it'd be three months later and I'd been passed out pretty much the whole time and it was back to day one--like today.
Everyone's different. But I had my dream job five years ago when I first started drinking heavily, and now I'm hoping I get a certain job this week making less than I did in high school. So, if you have your dream job, I guess I'd just caution you not to give yourself any reason to lose it.
I do sympathize, though. At one time I was juggling a job and psychotherapy and meetings. It's a lot, especially in New York. But I wish I'd known at the time that, personally, I would have needed to stick with it.
I've lost two pretty sweet jobs in the last year. I had a lot of people tell me to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. I usually kept up with it for a bit, and then started to miss meetings and not call my sponsor or anyone I'd met. Come, say, day seven or day eight, I'd feel a lot stronger and less panicky and like I didn't REALLY need the meetings. And then suddenly it'd be three months later and I'd been passed out pretty much the whole time and it was back to day one--like today.
Everyone's different. But I had my dream job five years ago when I first started drinking heavily, and now I'm hoping I get a certain job this week making less than I did in high school. So, if you have your dream job, I guess I'd just caution you not to give yourself any reason to lose it.
I do sympathize, though. At one time I was juggling a job and psychotherapy and meetings. It's a lot, especially in New York. But I wish I'd known at the time that, personally, I would have needed to stick with it.
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Thank you for the feedback.
Heath - yeah I usually feel that way, "whatever works", just want to make sure I make good choices.
What phoenixbot said is exactly the reason for trying to be careful. Thanks a lot for sharing that. I know it's not a good idea to get into too many new things in early recovery, all at once, without focus - I think this strategy would likely lead to overwhelm and/or superficiality, and potentially worse. Guess I'm just too curious, and sometimes get too excited. This last ~3 months have felt like gradually getting into a whole new reality or something like that, with so many possibilities... and I love this feeling (for the most part). Don't want to allow myself to get too carried away with it.
Maybe I'll just go step by step - since I've already started meetings a bit, stick with that and focus. See how it goes. Then the therapy later - the way I want to do it requires some processing time anyway.
And I'll definitely stick with SR since that was the first method I tried and it made a huge difference for me, so I know it works.
Heath - yeah I usually feel that way, "whatever works", just want to make sure I make good choices.
What phoenixbot said is exactly the reason for trying to be careful. Thanks a lot for sharing that. I know it's not a good idea to get into too many new things in early recovery, all at once, without focus - I think this strategy would likely lead to overwhelm and/or superficiality, and potentially worse. Guess I'm just too curious, and sometimes get too excited. This last ~3 months have felt like gradually getting into a whole new reality or something like that, with so many possibilities... and I love this feeling (for the most part). Don't want to allow myself to get too carried away with it.
Maybe I'll just go step by step - since I've already started meetings a bit, stick with that and focus. See how it goes. Then the therapy later - the way I want to do it requires some processing time anyway.
And I'll definitely stick with SR since that was the first method I tried and it made a huge difference for me, so I know it works.
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I agree - do what you feel is comfortable for you - there is no right or wrong. I just went to my first meeting, and I didn't think I'd say anything. But, when it came around to me, I did...and I cried a little....but, it was really refreshing. And if this group doesn't "fit" for you, don't be afraid to try other groups. Everyone keeps telling me that, and it makes sense. In no different than finding a good pair of shoes. You wouldn't keep wearing an uncomfortable pair of shoes that cause you blisters and sore toes. But, there is a group out there for each of us as individuals, and you will be so glad you went - not only will you be helping yourself, but you'll be helping others. And that is truly the best part I'm finding about sobriety right now. Granted I'm still fresh (again), but I think taking this leap will take the 28 days and make you a rock.
Good luck and Congratulations on your great success!!!
And yes - too many methods - I agree, my brother has really stressed the importance of putting too much in my mind, and too many methods, that's why I finally buckled down and said AA was my method of choice right now. It was hard to admit it, but he was right.
Good luck and Congratulations on your great success!!!
And yes - too many methods - I agree, my brother has really stressed the importance of putting too much in my mind, and too many methods, that's why I finally buckled down and said AA was my method of choice right now. It was hard to admit it, but he was right.
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Hi Heannie. This phrase, "I agree - do what you feel is comfortable for you - there is no right or wrong." to me is so much BS.
What was comfortable for me and most was to drink and do the softest easiest possible route to get "sober" forget staying sober.
The oldtimers, now me, say, especially in the beginning, sobriety is our most important goal bar none. That includes family, job, friends and so forth. You seem to be doing well and the early part of sobriety can be confusing and nonsenseable in some respects.
Most of us need a lot of meetings to learn from and with the damages done be heavy drinking many learn by repeating listening to NOT drink topics. Many get this mentally however by working the steps and close contact with sober people learn to we handle the biggee for us, the emotional side of out drinking that caused it to begin with.
BE WELL
What was comfortable for me and most was to drink and do the softest easiest possible route to get "sober" forget staying sober.
The oldtimers, now me, say, especially in the beginning, sobriety is our most important goal bar none. That includes family, job, friends and so forth. You seem to be doing well and the early part of sobriety can be confusing and nonsenseable in some respects.
Most of us need a lot of meetings to learn from and with the damages done be heavy drinking many learn by repeating listening to NOT drink topics. Many get this mentally however by working the steps and close contact with sober people learn to we handle the biggee for us, the emotional side of out drinking that caused it to begin with.
BE WELL
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Originally Posted by haennie 
Maybe I'll just go step by step.
Living a sober life takes practice, practice takes time, time takes time.
Try not to compare your program with others. What is right for someone else may not be right for you at the present moment. It does not mean it won't be later on. I try not to dismiss any suggestions, I would just set them on the shelf but never throw them away. There have been more then a couple times I have pulled things off that shelf and I was grateful they were there.
Many times I said, "I am not ready for that" because I was uncomfortable. Sometimes I let it sink in for a day or two and re-visited the idea. Many times fear and that uncomfortable feeling was hard to overcome but in the end I have always been glad I did and it gets easier to say "I will try that".
Keep going to meetings and soak up the information with an open mind.
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Thanks again. Yes IOAA2, often think and feel that many of my ideas and perceptions are BS. I'm not comfortable with many of my attitudes and I know I need changes.
GracieLou - yes I will go to more meetings.
To be honest, the attention I'm getting at these meetings makes me a bit uncomfortable. So weird, because I'm there to seek help, and I also find quite easy to share stories... so LOTS of attention. But somehow at the same time, I still want to run away...
GracieLou - yes I will go to more meetings.
To be honest, the attention I'm getting at these meetings makes me a bit uncomfortable. So weird, because I'm there to seek help, and I also find quite easy to share stories... so LOTS of attention. But somehow at the same time, I still want to run away...
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