So sick of drinking...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: rapid city s.d.
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by ThelmaLouise 
Hi guys,
I'm new here. I'm so sick of drinking. I drink and I don't even want to. I'll try and explain.
I have a loving husband, four fabulous children, and everything I ever wanted in life. We have a comfortable income (we could be richer, but who wouldn't want to be). My kids are well adjusted and life is good.
My father was an alcoholic. He died a few years ago in his sixties from cancer. He was never a real father to me, and I have no issues with that. I was very young when my parents divorced and I grew up with a great step-father. His father was also an alcoholic. I only mention this from a genetic point of view.
I have always had low self esteem. And then I got drunk. I loved it. A group of us would go clubbing and get drunk and dance. It was so much fun!
Fast forward to marriage and a family. At first, my husband and I were poor. We would share a dozen beer a week, which was normally on the weekends. We'd barbeque and drink two or three beer each on a Friday night. His family are also alcoholics. But he isn't. He enjoys an occasional drink but hates how much I drink. He's told me on a number of occasions that he's worried about my drinking.
I started out drinking a six pack after work once in a while. It progressed to every night after work. Then as my husbands income increased, I got to be a stay at home mom. Now I start with my 12 pack at noon.
I'm sick of it. It's not even fun anymore. I don't get buzzed and feel good. I get buzzed and feel tired. I don't get hung over, other than maybe once a month. Who drinks 12 beer and doesn't get hung over!?!
I'm a drunk, and I don't know how to stop. I don't want to drink, and I get up in the morning and swear off beer, and by one o'clock my body goes in panic mode because I need beer.
What is scaring me is the voice in my head that is saying, well you can stop drinking, what pills can you find to give you the same buzz?
I need to stop. And I don't know how.
I'm new here. I'm so sick of drinking. I drink and I don't even want to. I'll try and explain.
I have a loving husband, four fabulous children, and everything I ever wanted in life. We have a comfortable income (we could be richer, but who wouldn't want to be). My kids are well adjusted and life is good.
My father was an alcoholic. He died a few years ago in his sixties from cancer. He was never a real father to me, and I have no issues with that. I was very young when my parents divorced and I grew up with a great step-father. His father was also an alcoholic. I only mention this from a genetic point of view.
I have always had low self esteem. And then I got drunk. I loved it. A group of us would go clubbing and get drunk and dance. It was so much fun!
Fast forward to marriage and a family. At first, my husband and I were poor. We would share a dozen beer a week, which was normally on the weekends. We'd barbeque and drink two or three beer each on a Friday night. His family are also alcoholics. But he isn't. He enjoys an occasional drink but hates how much I drink. He's told me on a number of occasions that he's worried about my drinking.
I started out drinking a six pack after work once in a while. It progressed to every night after work. Then as my husbands income increased, I got to be a stay at home mom. Now I start with my 12 pack at noon.
I'm sick of it. It's not even fun anymore. I don't get buzzed and feel good. I get buzzed and feel tired. I don't get hung over, other than maybe once a month. Who drinks 12 beer and doesn't get hung over!?!
I'm a drunk, and I don't know how to stop. I don't want to drink, and I get up in the morning and swear off beer, and by one o'clock my body goes in panic mode because I need beer.
What is scaring me is the voice in my head that is saying, well you can stop drinking, what pills can you find to give you the same buzz?
I need to stop. And I don't know how.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
"spiritual malady."
Originally Posted by ThelmaLouise
I need to stop. And I don't know how.
visit this site often
and
call AA Central for a list of local AA meetings in you area
if you are a believer in God -- attendance in church is good for the soul
Mountainman
"spiritual malady."
From "The Doctor's Opinion" to the end of "More About Alcoholism" the Big Book discusses the first part of Step 1, which states, "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol". We've discussed, studied, and internalized material from the "Doctor's Opinion" to page 23 to see how we're powerless over alcohol bodily. We've used pages 23 - 43 to help us experience how we've been powerless mentally. Now I'd like to talk about a part of our "disease" which is seldom discussed in meetings nowadays: the "spiritual malady."
A.A. Recovery - The Missing Piece The Spiritual Malady
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