So sick of drinking...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 3
So sick of drinking...
Hi guys,
I'm new here. I'm so sick of drinking. I drink and I don't even want to. I'll try and explain.
I have a loving husband, four fabulous children, and everything I ever wanted in life. We have a comfortable income (we could be richer, but who wouldn't want to be). My kids are well adjusted and life is good.
My father was an alcoholic. He died a few years ago in his sixties from cancer. He was never a real father to me, and I have no issues with that. I was very young when my parents divorced and I grew up with a great step-father. His father was also an alcoholic. I only mention this from a genetic point of view.
I have always had low self esteem. And then I got drunk. I loved it. A group of us would go clubbing and get drunk and dance. It was so much fun!
Fast forward to marriage and a family. At first, my husband and I were poor. We would share a dozen beer a week, which was normally on the weekends. We'd barbeque and drink two or three beer each on a Friday night. His family are also alcoholics. But he isn't. He enjoys an occasional drink but hates how much I drink. He's told me on a number of occasions that he's worried about my drinking.
I started out drinking a six pack after work once in a while. It progressed to every night after work. Then as my husbands income increased, I got to be a stay at home mom. Now I start with my 12 pack at noon.
I'm sick of it. It's not even fun anymore. I don't get buzzed and feel good. I get buzzed and feel tired. I don't get hung over, other than maybe once a month. Who drinks 12 beer and doesn't get hung over!?!
I'm a drunk, and I don't know how to stop. I don't want to drink, and I get up in the morning and swear off beer, and by one o'clock my body goes in panic mode because I need beer.
What is scaring me is the voice in my head that is saying, well you can stop drinking, what pills can you find to give you the same buzz?
I need to stop. And I don't know how.
I'm new here. I'm so sick of drinking. I drink and I don't even want to. I'll try and explain.
I have a loving husband, four fabulous children, and everything I ever wanted in life. We have a comfortable income (we could be richer, but who wouldn't want to be). My kids are well adjusted and life is good.
My father was an alcoholic. He died a few years ago in his sixties from cancer. He was never a real father to me, and I have no issues with that. I was very young when my parents divorced and I grew up with a great step-father. His father was also an alcoholic. I only mention this from a genetic point of view.
I have always had low self esteem. And then I got drunk. I loved it. A group of us would go clubbing and get drunk and dance. It was so much fun!
Fast forward to marriage and a family. At first, my husband and I were poor. We would share a dozen beer a week, which was normally on the weekends. We'd barbeque and drink two or three beer each on a Friday night. His family are also alcoholics. But he isn't. He enjoys an occasional drink but hates how much I drink. He's told me on a number of occasions that he's worried about my drinking.
I started out drinking a six pack after work once in a while. It progressed to every night after work. Then as my husbands income increased, I got to be a stay at home mom. Now I start with my 12 pack at noon.
I'm sick of it. It's not even fun anymore. I don't get buzzed and feel good. I get buzzed and feel tired. I don't get hung over, other than maybe once a month. Who drinks 12 beer and doesn't get hung over!?!
I'm a drunk, and I don't know how to stop. I don't want to drink, and I get up in the morning and swear off beer, and by one o'clock my body goes in panic mode because I need beer.
What is scaring me is the voice in my head that is saying, well you can stop drinking, what pills can you find to give you the same buzz?
I need to stop. And I don't know how.
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Welcome to SR.
If you are serious about stopping drinking, it is important to understand that it is the first drink that does the damage.
Ask your Doctor for advice,withdrawals can be dangerous
If you are serious about stopping drinking, it is important to understand that it is the first drink that does the damage.
Ask your Doctor for advice,withdrawals can be dangerous
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 3
Yes I do. Weekends are hard for me, so my get sober date starts this Monday.
I know it should be today, but Monday is a day that I can prepare for. I can plan for it in that all booze is out of the house. The kids are at school so they don't need to deal with my cranky mood. I can get myself ready.
And I am ready to end this. When I was 25, clubbing and getting drunk was fun! It was a stress reliever, and just the social thing to do. I'm 37 now and getting drunk sucks. It just makes me tired.
I think I made my decision to get sober three days ago. I was hung over so I didn't want to drink. It was two o'clock in the afternoon and I hadn't touched a beer. All I could think was how good it felt not to be drinking, and this was while I was hung over. Imagine what it must be like to just be sober.
I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired, and sick of feeling like this. I want my good life back.
I know it should be today, but Monday is a day that I can prepare for. I can plan for it in that all booze is out of the house. The kids are at school so they don't need to deal with my cranky mood. I can get myself ready.
And I am ready to end this. When I was 25, clubbing and getting drunk was fun! It was a stress reliever, and just the social thing to do. I'm 37 now and getting drunk sucks. It just makes me tired.
I think I made my decision to get sober three days ago. I was hung over so I didn't want to drink. It was two o'clock in the afternoon and I hadn't touched a beer. All I could think was how good it felt not to be drinking, and this was while I was hung over. Imagine what it must be like to just be sober.
I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired, and sick of feeling like this. I want my good life back.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
It's tough/ but worth it... Use this site for help, join the march 2014 thread as you'll be stopping in march, they are lovely and really help!!! Just remember no muych u hate being its slave this weekend!!! X
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Santa Barbara, SoCal
Posts: 561
Thelma, it's only day 4 for me and I feel so much better than I did.
Drinking only makes me tired as well. Last week I took shots of vodka with my friends and I was shocked to see how much my tolerance went up. That was a red flag that I needed to stop. Normal people couldn't handle what I did.
Normal people can't handle 12 beers at a time either.
I am glad you are trying to stop. If you really want to prepare for Monday, I would suggest you get some melatonin and the biggest thing for me the first two days was trouble sleeping. Also, some nighttime tea to relax you. And some candy bars because it helps with the cravings somewhat.
Good luck!
Drinking only makes me tired as well. Last week I took shots of vodka with my friends and I was shocked to see how much my tolerance went up. That was a red flag that I needed to stop. Normal people couldn't handle what I did.
Normal people can't handle 12 beers at a time either.
I am glad you are trying to stop. If you really want to prepare for Monday, I would suggest you get some melatonin and the biggest thing for me the first two days was trouble sleeping. Also, some nighttime tea to relax you. And some candy bars because it helps with the cravings somewhat.
Good luck!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family. 
I'm glad you decided to stop drinking and join us. You'll find lots of support here. Asking your doctor for help in getting thru withdrawals is a smart idea as w/d can be rough. Be safe. 
I'm glad you decided to stop drinking and join us. You'll find lots of support here. Asking your doctor for help in getting thru withdrawals is a smart idea as w/d can be rough. Be safe. Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by ThelmaLouise 
Is it wrong that I'm embarrassed to talk to my doctor about my drinking? I feel ashamed to admit it to anyone. I have insight and know that I have a problem, but I feel like an idiot.
It is my humble and unprofessional opinion that involving your doctor in your plans for sobriety is a wise move.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome ThelmaLouise! You came to the right place for understanding and encouragement.
I think you'd feel very relieved opening up to your doctor about it. He may have some good suggestions, and he needs to know what's going on with you so he can help.
I was shy & self-conscious most of my life. Drinking seemed like the perfect solution. 30 yrs. later, I was drinking 'round the clock, completely dependent on it. Never high & happy anymore - just drinking to keep from shaking. It'll feel so good to be free of it. You can do this.
I think you'd feel very relieved opening up to your doctor about it. He may have some good suggestions, and he needs to know what's going on with you so he can help.
I was shy & self-conscious most of my life. Drinking seemed like the perfect solution. 30 yrs. later, I was drinking 'round the clock, completely dependent on it. Never high & happy anymore - just drinking to keep from shaking. It'll feel so good to be free of it. You can do this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome to SR ThelmaLouise
I think it's very normal to feel scared about telling our Dr but the others are right - it's something I think they hear pretty often
Do check out our Class of March support thread too -
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-6-a-6.html
SR helped me turn my life around - I know we can help you do the same
D
I think it's very normal to feel scared about telling our Dr but the others are right - it's something I think they hear pretty often
Do check out our Class of March support thread too -
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-6-a-6.html
SR helped me turn my life around - I know we can help you do the same
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,107
Thelma Louise when I finally got the courage up to tell my doctor he smiled and said I've known for awhile I have been wondering how long it was gonna take for you to tell me. As someone else said they hear this a lot and their checking you out they know
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Glad you found us. I'd like to invite you to our Chat Meetings which take place every Fri and Tue night at 9EST/6PST. Just click on the Chat Room button above and then enter the Meeting Room through the door on the right.
Hope to see you there!
Hope to see you there!
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
I was terrified to tell my doctor. I finally did it about 5 days after I quit drinking. What a weight off my shoulders. She was extremely supportive and understanding. They are professionals and they aren't there to judge.
Bottom line though, if someone was going to judge you, would you rather it be your doctor or your kids and husband?
Bottom line though, if someone was going to judge you, would you rather it be your doctor or your kids and husband?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 12
ThelmaLouise,
Welcome. I have not been here long, but the people and support are truly amazing I hope you stick around.
I can totally relate to your position. My father was alcoholic, too. I also still drink. I want to stop the drinking, but look to other methods pills, mostly to give me the same buzz. I dont want any of it. I can relate to your want to quit. I (somehow) stopped for 5 years until recently.
I agree with suggestions already put forward I would see your doctor. I am seeing mine next Wednesday. Doctors are not there to judge. You show great courage to seek help; it is nothing to be ashamed of. The opposite.
All I know right now is that I am willing to give ANYTHING a shot, no matter how difficult it seems. We are all stronger than we think we are. Besides, anything MUST be better than living the life we are living right now.
Good luck.
Best, Saille
Welcome. I have not been here long, but the people and support are truly amazing I hope you stick around.
I can totally relate to your position. My father was alcoholic, too. I also still drink. I want to stop the drinking, but look to other methods pills, mostly to give me the same buzz. I dont want any of it. I can relate to your want to quit. I (somehow) stopped for 5 years until recently.
I agree with suggestions already put forward I would see your doctor. I am seeing mine next Wednesday. Doctors are not there to judge. You show great courage to seek help; it is nothing to be ashamed of. The opposite.
All I know right now is that I am willing to give ANYTHING a shot, no matter how difficult it seems. We are all stronger than we think we are. Besides, anything MUST be better than living the life we are living right now.
Good luck.
Best, Saille
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Hi Thelma. Welcome to SR. Congratulations on facing up to how things have progressed.
Seeing a doctor is a good idea. It doesn't have to be your regular doctor, but dealing with the shame of alcohol abuse is something you can't avoid, it's part of the process of acceptance and moving through those feelings.
You should never be ashamed to be doing something positive for your health. I think too it's a fear of somehow then being made accountable if you open up to your doctor...but to Dee's point...it's a disease that needs treatment, and withdrawal can be dangerous.
Get all the tools you can for success and visit here....you aren't alone!
Seeing a doctor is a good idea. It doesn't have to be your regular doctor, but dealing with the shame of alcohol abuse is something you can't avoid, it's part of the process of acceptance and moving through those feelings.
You should never be ashamed to be doing something positive for your health. I think too it's a fear of somehow then being made accountable if you open up to your doctor...but to Dee's point...it's a disease that needs treatment, and withdrawal can be dangerous.
Get all the tools you can for success and visit here....you aren't alone!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
welcome!
You can do it, you can get off this ugly merry-go-round!!
You've found a good start right here at SR. I encourage you to get on down to your local AA and get some in--person community support as well.
You CAN stop drinking!
You can do it, you can get off this ugly merry-go-round!!
You've found a good start right here at SR. I encourage you to get on down to your local AA and get some in--person community support as well.
You CAN stop drinking!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
I think a smart doctor knows when you tell them you have a "few" what that means. It was refreshing to tell my doctor. And even when I had to go back to her 4 months later and tell her I slipped and needed a little something to help me through detox (again), all she said was she was glad I came back for more help.....many don't......and that could be tragic.
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