Day 1 Again!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Nsw
Posts: 32
Day 1 Again!
So I'm back here again at day 1, managed to do 4 weeks, just before Christmas, thought to myself "I've so got this, I just went a month, surely I can just drink while on holidays with my friends and family?" well I was away on holidays for 6 weeks and the only day I didn't drink was new years day because I was to hung over. Have continued to drink since returning home, went 6 days without a drink 2 weeks ago then back to drinking every day!
I have finally just got it through my head yesterday that I cant do this myself! I've found a meeting and am planning on attending tonight, I DONT want to be dependant on Alcohol, I want to quit, so why does the thought of never being able to drink again, scare me so much???? I know I cant moderate, history proves this, I'm just so frustrated with my annoying brain.
Has anyone else felt like this? Sorry for rambling.
I have finally just got it through my head yesterday that I cant do this myself! I've found a meeting and am planning on attending tonight, I DONT want to be dependant on Alcohol, I want to quit, so why does the thought of never being able to drink again, scare me so much???? I know I cant moderate, history proves this, I'm just so frustrated with my annoying brain.
Has anyone else felt like this? Sorry for rambling.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Nsw
Posts: 32
Thanks seeks, will do, I am feeling pretty nervous about attending my first meeting tonight, but I realise I need this and I figure at least I wont be sitting at home bored if I'm at an AA meeting.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Ange. Welcome back)
I was surely scared of never been able to have a glass (just one, yeah) of wine again. In early sobriety I was taking one day at a time, kind of repeating Scarlett O'hara's mantra "I will think about it tomorrow".
The trick was I was changing along my sobriety journey. It was like gaining strength and different views day by day.
Without "alco fog" a lot of things became clear, new opportunities opened up, I realized how much it held me back.
My advice is - don't overwhelm yourself with thoughts about the future now. When future comes you will deal with it.
Best wishes to you)
I was surely scared of never been able to have a glass (just one, yeah) of wine again. In early sobriety I was taking one day at a time, kind of repeating Scarlett O'hara's mantra "I will think about it tomorrow".
The trick was I was changing along my sobriety journey. It was like gaining strength and different views day by day.
Without "alco fog" a lot of things became clear, new opportunities opened up, I realized how much it held me back.
My advice is - don't overwhelm yourself with thoughts about the future now. When future comes you will deal with it.
Best wishes to you)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: York
Posts: 24
Hey Ange... I know exactly what you mean. Your opening thread pretty much mirrored my attempts, failures, guilt and anger. I am on day 2 today and this after having a 100% sober November 2013 where like yourself thought "I have cracked this once and for all".
I have found that it can become a vicious cycle :failed attempts lead to guilt lead to depression leads to thinking 'whats the point' and having another drink. As I am learning the present moment is all that matters. Whats happened is a memory.. the future is merely a possibility (good or bad.. exciting or full of fear) so the only thing that exists is the current moment. I have found thinking this way sheds a lot of anger self resentment and guilt and gives me a solid strong base to move forward. Good luck and more power to you
I have found that it can become a vicious cycle :failed attempts lead to guilt lead to depression leads to thinking 'whats the point' and having another drink. As I am learning the present moment is all that matters. Whats happened is a memory.. the future is merely a possibility (good or bad.. exciting or full of fear) so the only thing that exists is the current moment. I have found thinking this way sheds a lot of anger self resentment and guilt and gives me a solid strong base to move forward. Good luck and more power to you
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Port ELizabeth
Posts: 27
I know exactly how you feel, the thought of never drinking again makes me sad !
Drinking is ruining me however... feel like I am being pulled into two. One side wants to stop so bad yet the other side to continue is even stronger. I admire you for your courage.
Drinking is ruining me however... feel like I am being pulled into two. One side wants to stop so bad yet the other side to continue is even stronger. I admire you for your courage.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Hi Ange,
I can totally relate to your story. I've gotten a month under my belt and almost two weeks multiple times. It's so frustrating because the weekends are the hardest part for me. I had 11 days and then Friday came along and I slipped. I went to AA yesterday and things felt better. One day at a time soul sister!
Garrison
I can totally relate to your story. I've gotten a month under my belt and almost two weeks multiple times. It's so frustrating because the weekends are the hardest part for me. I had 11 days and then Friday came along and I slipped. I went to AA yesterday and things felt better. One day at a time soul sister!
Garrison
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Ange4 
I want to quit, so why does the thought of never being able to drink again, scare me so much????
Has anyone else felt like this?
Has anyone else felt like this?
Welcome back to the fight of your life.
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