BruceSA

Hello Friends,

I’m sure there are posts on the forum about the number of days that have been achieved in sobriety, but a short search didn’t really turn up much? But then my prehistoric phone doesn't turn up much most of the time!

First up, please, this is in no way taking anything away from anyone who has achieved or wanting to achieve sobriety. Achieving or wanting to achieve Day 1’s and further is the common denominator amongst all of us.
I’m counting my days too, for a number of reasons. Firstly it gets my morale up, seeing the number of days tick away, secondly, when you look at the huge number of sober days achieved by “veterans”, it does give one a target and sense that “I can also get there if I apply myself and keep strictly to my sobriety rules”.

However, I’m pondering a few things here:

Is there a link between number of sober days and the reduced “probability” - for want of a better word - of a slip? The physical requirements or effort to get alcohol is still the same for anyone – a 5 minute trip to the bottlestore, select and pay, whether you’re a veteran or not? The mental processes are a different issue completely. I’m sure the count does play a huge part in staying sober as time heals a lot of things. And with time comes experience, maturity and more tested ways of living one’s new life. I’ve read a number of articles about people with many years of sobriety who suddenly succumb to a relapse. As some of you may know I’m very sensitive to the first drink won’t hurt scenario and maybe this exerts other influences on the way I’m thinking?

Secondly, although I believe that counting has a lot of benefits, is there perhaps more of a link between quality of sobriety and day-count and staying clean?
Perhaps a person at 50 days who feels strong and positive and keen has more chance than someone at, say, 500 days who is miserable and still in the “I’m feeling good but I’m not feeling good” space? And then there’s the person at 500 days who feels fantastic and is moving forward quickly.

Maybe I spend too much time travelling where the mind is able to wander around and visit places you haven’t really thought of or questioned?

Once again, please, I’m not having a dig at counting days, if it’s day half or day thousand, it’s still a great achievement. And if it acts as a motivation (like it does for me), then fantastic.
Any thoughts, please?

Fight the good fight and let’s stay sober! Good luck.

Everything’s gonna be all right. Rockabye.

Bruce.

Taproot

Great questions, Bruce. I am very new here and can easily count my days because I can count to five. And I have wondered, just to be blunt about it, "What are the odds?" Lots of folks don't succeed at kicking their substance--in my case, alcohol. I have tried and failed before myself. I wonder if there is a point, a number of days, at which your odds of making that permeant change improve? Boy, I hope so. I try to take on each day just by itself, but at the same time I wonder in the back of my head if things maybe get better after 60 or 120 days, etc?

Dee74

Hi Bruce

I don't think counting days or not counting days makes much of a difference in one sense - if you drink - under either system - it's not the counting or not counting of days that made you drink again, it's alcoholism (and a not quite optiomal sobriety plan)

In the wider sense, I don't believe there's ever a time where any of us can be complacent... as you say madness is one drink away.

But...I'm a lot different in 2014 to the guy who rocked up here in 2007.

I've done a lot of work and I have a lot of safeguards to help me ensure I never drink again.

I haven't been tempted in a few years.

I have no expectation that I'll be tempted any time soon either - but...if I am I have strategies in place (support, and ways to deal with situations) to make sure my recovery continues uninterrupted

So in short, count or don't count...there are long term success stories here from either camp - but I'd say do make sure you do the hard yards behind that personal decision

D

BruceSA

Hello, D,

Many thanks for the reply, makes a lot of sense!

All the best,

Bruce.

Michael66

I can only speak for my own experience. To begin with, the sight of beer caused some obsessive thoughts and ruminations on beer, sobriety, drunkenness, etc. Now it has little effect. In the early days I knew I had to avoid going places where people were drinking, but now I am very comfortable going places where other people are drinking and asking for a coke or water. In the early days I could have no alcohol in the house, now I'm perfectly OK with having some in for other people.

But I don't think the day count is particularly important here,as the rate at which that healing occurs is going to be different for all of us. I don't think we can say 'By day X you should not feel.......".

I think whether you count or not is up to whether it motivates you. I don't count days but I do have a 'celebration' pizza on the 19th of each month. If counting days motivates people then I say 'go for it'.

LadyinBC

I count my days because I worked hard for some of those days. I do it simply for me, I don't compare my days to anyone else and I don't want anyone to compare theirs to mine.

It really is a personal choice. Whatever works for a person is okay in my books.

Taking5

According to a lot of therapists, 5 years is a magical number where the possibility of a relapse goes down dramatically.

kiki1988

I do, but I'm trying to place less focus on it because it sometimes makes me feel like I am trapped on a desert island waiting to be rescued... or in the Big Brother house. This week is flying by as I'm making an effort to keep myself busy, and when they asked me as a new comer for my day count at a meeting yesterday, I had to think about it.

I think it's like those wiser and more experienced than me have said - do whatever works for you.

FreeOwl

double edged sword sometimes. On the one hand, the sense of accomplishment, the meeting milestones and the affirmation of one's peers who understand when another month or year has been made in sobriety are all motivating and - to me - powerful things.

On the other hand there are those days when I look at my sobriety app and wonder "will 6 months ever come? a year? holy crap.... my entire LIFE??"

So I suppose there are pros and cons. I haven't looked at my app or counted in a couple weeks and I'm not really sure where I am. Creeping up on 90 days somewhere but not certain what actual day. That's kinda been nice and I think I may pay less day-to-day attention on the counting for a while.

I'm looking forward to 6 months - because at 6 months I'll be eligible to volunteer at the local hospital's detox unit AA meetings. I want to do that as a bit of service work and as an added tool in my sobriety. I had wanted to my first actual run at sobriety but then I let go of sobriety just shy of 6 months and went back out....

I will really feel good about making one year... .that I know. Yet I also get a little scared of my own mental trickery; will I use that milestone as 'evidence' that I'm ok? Will 5 years mark relapse??

I don't know that we can ever really NOT pay attention to how long it's been... this thing is so huge, such an integral part of our lives. But I am going to try and strike a balance in it.

HAHA!!! Ahhhh.... yes... the irony. Balance. Isn't that our core issue? Whether it be with alcohol, drugs, or even COUNTING. Obsession?

littlemelorelei

Hiya Bruce

I keep count to keep track of where I am upto, and I like to reward myself when I reach personal goals but I am not obsessive about it...when you reach a year or so you tend to find its there but you put it more to the back of your mind as life takes over and you are more focused on living than thinking about when your last drink was... its a good motivation to keep track because its good to see how far you have come sometimes...

LL

sugarbear1

I count the days, kinda, mostly in months now....every day was a miracle I haven't drank or used.....

The quality of my sobriety seems to depend on what I am doing about me today.....

I'm a numbers person, so counting just happens today.

Sober since May 16, 2011. ~it's a Miracle~

GreenEggsAndHam

My therapists in IOP actually discussed this with us after a big meeting they had with the Behavior Health experts in their field. The research showed that at one year the chances of relapse decreased but at five years they saw the biggest decrease in risk of relapse.

They also found that the longer one abstains and then relapses, the harder it is for them to get sober again. So someone relapsing after 15 years will have a harder time getting clean than someone relapsing after one year. (in general)


The only thing I don't like about counting days is that it seems to make time draaaagggg, especially when I'm looking forward to picking up a chip.

doggonecarl

People who live each day in recovery have less of a chance of slipping than those who are just counting the days they haven't drank.

CAPTAINZING2000

Well it's not a race, we are all winners here when we don't drink.
Been a lot of years now, it's a little hard to recall. I'm sure I was happy picking each one of the monthly coins to a year.
I see the enthusiasm of a lot of you posters on here now as you reach a milestone.
If you're not always looking forwards your probably not enjoying your gift of sobriety .
I've accumulated numerous days I don't know if I'd ever reach the time I have again if I ever pick up again .

soberlicious

I don't count time, but I do acknowledge yearly the day my life changed. I look at it more of a celebration of my life now, the same way I celebrate my children's birthday (not a typo, they share the same one). The mindset is "today is the day you came into my life and changed it permanently forever and I'm indescribably glad for it" not "you've been around for 5,840 days now, I sure hope you can hang on for another 24 hours." There is a subtle difference to me.

I am a person who has gone back to drinking after 10 years. Those were 10 happy years too. I wasn't white knuckling. I don't think that the amount of time away from alcohol directly correlates to the ability to stay happily abstinent. I know many people who had the switch flip and they knew solidly they would never go back...as solidly on day one as they did on day 1,000.

One of the things I don't like about counting time is that I would be counting time on something I no longer do and I will never do. If I say I am "x number of days in recovery" to me it suggests a transient state. I am a nondrinker. It is a permanent state, not a transient state. Why would I count time on something permanent? "It's been 16,000 days since I learned to use the potty. God willing I won't slip up and go in my pants today."

adee

You might be overthinking this. Said with kindness by a chronic over-thinker.

Counting days seems to be a mechanism that is helpful to some and not to others. I find it keeps me more honest with myself but that's not to say that others don't find the same with not counting.

Do whatever adds value to your sobriety today.

BruceSA

Thanks, Guys,

Some excellent points here, make one think a bit harder, thank you.

I particularly like the point by soberlicious referring to "if I'm not going back there, why am I counting?" Nice idea!

Thanks to all !
Bruce.

ChiefBromden

That made me chuckle when I realized that it's not only 651 days ago that I had my last drink, but about the same number of days (roughly) since I last pooped my pants. One would almost think there is a relation there.

IreLander

Just collected my 2 month chip. I worked hard for that chip every day I didn't drink. I count my days as I feel its a road map to where I have been, and what I had to go through to get to this day. I have come so far from even day 30 to day 64 and one thing I know for sure is that I have a LONG way to go.

resolute50

So,is there a point where recovery>recovered?
I count,8 months today for me.
But,I also count the days till the weekend.