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Help please ! I need input, I have some questions about sponsorship in AA



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Help please ! I need input, I have some questions about sponsorship in AA

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Old 03-13-2014, 08:28 AM
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Help please ! I need input, I have some questions about sponsorship in AA

This might be a dumb question but ive been going to AA meeting regulary for the past 6 months and im having trouble finding a sponser. My first question is what is your opinion on males sponsoring females ? My second question can someone if this person be willing sponsor me if she is NOT in AA but has I belive 4_5 years of sobriety she got sober tbrough a program called "BAD" and belives in a higher power ?
Any input would be great im stumped and I need to start working the program
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Old 03-13-2014, 09:35 AM
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Hi, I am in AA but do not have a sponsor yet myself (mainly because I am scared to ask anyone haha) but hopefully my advice can be of help.

Males sponsoring females/females sponsoring males is not recommended because it may lead to sexual feelings. However some sponsors/sponsees are opposite sex and it works out fine, I know of such examples myself. I can understand it may be hard for a woman to find a female sponsor due to a shortage of women in AA in some communities. Another case when male/female sponsorship may be a good idea is if you are gay/lesbian, maybe you are then more comfortable with someone of the opposite sex.

I do not know what BAD is. The fact is that there are no hard and fast rules for what a sponsor is, only suggestions. Some suggest that you work with a sponsor on all the steps 1 - 12, some say that most of the steps can be done without a sponsor. Step 5 requires another person, but this person doesn't have to be a sponsor, it could be anyone (clergyman, therapist, friend, etc. are all common choices). So I don't know if you could call this person your "sponsor", but you could do your 5th step with them.
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Old 03-13-2014, 09:39 AM
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This question will be answered for you better, if you post it in the Alcoholism 12 step support forum.

A sponsor should be someone in AA who has worked through the programme with a sponsor themselves and also someone of the same sex.The days have gone where men sponsored women,this is because there are plenty of women now in the programme.
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Old 03-13-2014, 11:08 AM
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Originally Posted by heath480 View Post
This question will be answered for you better, if you post it in the Alcoholism 12 step support forum.

A sponsor should be someone in AA who has worked through the programme with a sponsor themselves and also someone of the same sex.The days have gone where men sponsored women,this is because there are plenty of women now in the programme.
^I agree....

Also, look for a sponsor that you feel can offer you some specific guidance and actions based on their own experience and from a place of long-term sobriety. If your home group doesn't have anyone you feel aligned with.... try some other groups.

it can take some time... and maybe you want to seek a 'temporary' sponsor to help guide you through the first few steps.
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Old 03-13-2014, 11:20 AM
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Originally Posted by FreeOwl View Post
^I agree....

it can take some time... and maybe you want to seek a 'temporary' sponsor to help guide you through the first few steps.
Try to feel that we are NOT marrying a sponsor so if it doesn't work out we have another chance. Also over the years I've seen many close friendships develop as a result of the sharing involved. The big thing is to "use" a sponsor as both really benefit.

BE WELL
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