i am a lush
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
We can give all the well meaning advice in the world, but you're the one who has to follow thru on it. The biggest thing right now is your drinking. Unless you stop drinking you're going to stay in this losing cycle. Drinking is a depressant and will make you feel worse. Please put the bottle down and look at your life with a clear head. Then you can make a decision as to what you're going to do with your life.
We care!
We care!
we are all here for you! glad to see you are trying to get a grip on this at your age, well done mate!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 400
Lush, the road to sobriety is a tough and formidable task. We are all on that journey.
Some of the questions you had, you already answered yourself. You want a good life with someone that loves you. You want to stop drinking but don't know how. Suggestions have been offered however you have replied with rebuttals. You have a bad case of the "can't do that". Let's back up to the beginning.
Do you want to get healthy?
Do you want to live a long life?
Do you have the guts and determination to get the things you want? You survived this far. My guess is that you do.
Get thru medical detox, clear your head, develop a plan and come on back to SR.
You will benefit from the experiences of other folks on this site that truly want to love and help you. Give it a shot Buddy, You have everything to gain and also everything to lose if you don't.
We are rooting for you. You are in a very dark and dangerous place right now. The door is open for you to get out of that place. You have to find it within yourself to take a first step out that door. You can do it. The first step is to pour the booze down the drain and book an appt. to see a doctor.
Some of the questions you had, you already answered yourself. You want a good life with someone that loves you. You want to stop drinking but don't know how. Suggestions have been offered however you have replied with rebuttals. You have a bad case of the "can't do that". Let's back up to the beginning.
Do you want to get healthy?
Do you want to live a long life?
Do you have the guts and determination to get the things you want? You survived this far. My guess is that you do.
Get thru medical detox, clear your head, develop a plan and come on back to SR.
You will benefit from the experiences of other folks on this site that truly want to love and help you. Give it a shot Buddy, You have everything to gain and also everything to lose if you don't.
We are rooting for you. You are in a very dark and dangerous place right now. The door is open for you to get out of that place. You have to find it within yourself to take a first step out that door. You can do it. The first step is to pour the booze down the drain and book an appt. to see a doctor.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,430
It was hard to put down the bottle and accept the consequences of my decisions to drink.
I understand it if very difficult and seems pretty impossible at the moment.
But each hour, day, week you get away from using alcohol to numb the pain is putting you that much closer to finding the life you said you want--connections with other people, peace, and freedom.
Only you can put the bottle down, commit to being sober, and start the process.
We can't do that part for you, but most of us have been in that dark place too
and we can encourage and support you.
I can't believe how much happier and more peaceful my life is now compared to when
I was drinking everyday. It took work to get to this place, but it was worth it.
I wish the same for you Derek.
I understand it if very difficult and seems pretty impossible at the moment.
But each hour, day, week you get away from using alcohol to numb the pain is putting you that much closer to finding the life you said you want--connections with other people, peace, and freedom.
Only you can put the bottle down, commit to being sober, and start the process.
We can't do that part for you, but most of us have been in that dark place too
and we can encourage and support you.
I can't believe how much happier and more peaceful my life is now compared to when
I was drinking everyday. It took work to get to this place, but it was worth it.
I wish the same for you Derek.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 86
Welcome. I can only tell you from experience that when I felt lonely and hopeless my lifeline was reaching out to people like me who understand at AA. There is so much love and understanding and fellowship there. You will find some real friends who really care about you and your struggle. You are so very young, you have a lot of life ahead of you. The choice is yours. Do you continue with your current plan or try something else. There is hope.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 245
Lush, there are people from many different walks of life here, perhaps not in exactly the same situation, but very similar in many aspects. We have all "been there, done that", some of us more times than we care to count. There is a hell of a lot of knowledge and experience here and you should use that to your advantage. We can help in many ways, but we just can't do it for you. So instead of pushing all our suggestions away with a "yeah, but..." or "you guys just don't understand", embrace what we have to say. We understand a lot more than you may think.
If you need to just chat, feel free to PM me at any time (although, I'm in Australia so replies may be late). Sobriety is amazing, and we all want that for you.
Amy.
If you need to just chat, feel free to PM me at any time (although, I'm in Australia so replies may be late). Sobriety is amazing, and we all want that for you.
Amy.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 405
Originally Posted by thelush 
hello. my name is Derek and I am an alcoholic. and I am on and off with pot. mostly the booze. I am now 20 and since I was 15 ive been a daily drinker. when I was 15 I got on intensive probation. I kept getting in trouble so I was finally given a choice by the state, go to a work farm for two years or leave the state till I was 18. I left the state and lived with my mom, parents split when I was 10, and living with my mom didn't work so I went back with my dad, and he dragged me along with him on this hunt for jobs and I ended up living in 6 different town within 2 years. and then finally we heard about this oil boom in ND. and after a month of being out here my dad left, he didn't like it out here, and I was supposed to go back with him as soon as I got my first check. well, after I seen the $ I was making I stayed and was paying on a truck, well one thing led to another and ive been out here for 2 years now and I have no friends, no life, no fun. now I have 4 yehicles and they are all junk so now im kinda stranded out here and I have no $ cuz I spend all on my cars. and whatever I have left I spend on booze and food. and I have no friends or anything cuz all I do is sit in my room and drink booze till I pass out. I drink about a half bottle of vodka everynight. and lately my kidneys hurt, my chest has pain, im getting really violent, and always feel like I wanna just end it you know? and this isn't what I wanna be and I try to tell myself no drinking, no drinking, but as soon I get off work I head straight for the bottle. cuz im just so depressed and alone and ive been moved so much I don't feel like I have a home to go back to. I don't know if any of this makes sense cuz... im drunk right now. but.... I just saw this site and hoping someone could give me some advice, some steps to take, just something to make me feel like there is a light at the end of this dark, dark tunnel.
You never have to take another drink.
Call you local AA hotline tomorrow. Go to a meeting.
Get some telephone numbers and ask for help.
You don't have to live like this. Your life can change. It will be amazing.
Run...
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