malcolmsloan

I started again so so many times tornrealization. I know how you feel right now, for sure. I think it's super important to be careful of really beating yourself up. New day. And when you meet your goals and start reflecting back, this one day won't loom as large as it feels at this moment. Learn from it and move on.

fini

TR,
don'
t know how many times you have to start again. it was many, for me.

it was many because i did what you did, sounds like: setting a goal, and knowing i could drink again once the goal was reached, it was doable, the not-drinking.
later, i decided not to drink again. ever. planned, committed, chosen.
went back to drinking over and over.
the best-made plans and decisions and firm commitments ....over and over.

i don't find it strange at all that you found it easier when you had a goal and "could have drinks".
knowing there will be no drinks, letting go of that, is an entire revolution. well, was for me.
i had to understand who i was before i could drop the drinking and the desire for it.
don't know what YOU need to do to get there, but without starting again, you're not gonna get there

so start again.

tornrealization

Thanks everyone. I'm going to try again. Tired today. Drinking tea. Wish this was easier. Weekends continue to be thy enemy.

gleefan

Torn -- You are more than your addiction to alcohol. Is there a non drinking support person you can call when you get the urge to drink?

Geah -- Sorry to hear about your lapse. Glad you're still here posting.