I just can't seem to do it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 10
Failed, yep, 3 hours into the evening and I've failed!!!! Why am I so weak?!!! You know, the worst part about it? It's all you wonderful people taking the time to read my post and taking the time to encourage me, and I've effectively rubbed all your support in your faces. Can't even take that advice and apply it beyond a few hours... I'm sooo angry with myself right now. I caved in... Hating myself right now...
I'm so sorry, if a moderator wants to remove me from here I'll understand, just sooo angry with myself... Sorry for ranting...
I'm so sorry, if a moderator wants to remove me from here I'll understand, just sooo angry with myself... Sorry for ranting...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by least 
You won't be 'removed' for drinking. Many of us tried and failed many times before we were able to get it right. Keep trying. You'll get it. 
I will keep trying, I WILL succeed! Thank you
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 86
Welcome Luke,
It sounds like you need a new plan. Have you gone to any AA meetings? Have you tried substance abuse counseling or any type of treatment? There are medications that can help you as well. Dont give up. You can do this and your children's lives will be so much better when you do get help. In the meantime, come here, post as often as you like. Let us know how you are doing.
It sounds like you need a new plan. Have you gone to any AA meetings? Have you tried substance abuse counseling or any type of treatment? There are medications that can help you as well. Dont give up. You can do this and your children's lives will be so much better when you do get help. In the meantime, come here, post as often as you like. Let us know how you are doing.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Luke32
Why am I so weak?!!!
Whatever it took to keep me feeding it the alcohol it craved.
My life improved dramatically when I stopped taking advice on my future from a known liar.
Best of Luck!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hey, Luke. Welcome to SR. 
So first, quit beating yourself up. You're not weak, you're not even unusual—we've all sworn it off with all our heart, only to jump back in hours later. That's where the plan comes in. Step one is to decide to quit. Step two is to have a plan for what you'll do when cravings come in, doubts return, and your commitment waivers. Because it will happen again... and again... and again... at least in the early days. You have an addiction; there's a part of your brain that wants you to fail, and will be whispering in your ear that you can' do this, not now, maybe another day, but today you should just go ahead and give in... it's all lies, just as Nonsensical said, but you need to be ready for it when it happens. That's where the plan comes in.
For some it might be an AA or SMART meeting. Me, I just came to SR and posted and read, went for a walk, then posted and read some more until the urge past or I fell asleep. Joining a class on the daily support threads was really helpful, basically like joining a team of people who were just starting out like me. We leaned on each other, pulled each other through. Reading about AVRT on SR's secular threats helped a lot, too.
I know how hard it is at first—the urge feels so strong, almost irresistible. But it is absolutely resistible. It's just a feeling, it can't actually harm us. There's not even physical pain—it's just an urge. Just your addiction, kicking and screaming, trying to get you to feed it. Don't listen to it. It says drinking will make you feel better—but is that true? Of course not. You know what's really in that bottle—just regret, fear, and despair.
It's hard at first..... but wow, is it ever worth it. You're going to be so glad you did this!
So first, quit beating yourself up. You're not weak, you're not even unusual—we've all sworn it off with all our heart, only to jump back in hours later. That's where the plan comes in. Step one is to decide to quit. Step two is to have a plan for what you'll do when cravings come in, doubts return, and your commitment waivers. Because it will happen again... and again... and again... at least in the early days. You have an addiction; there's a part of your brain that wants you to fail, and will be whispering in your ear that you can' do this, not now, maybe another day, but today you should just go ahead and give in... it's all lies, just as Nonsensical said, but you need to be ready for it when it happens. That's where the plan comes in.
For some it might be an AA or SMART meeting. Me, I just came to SR and posted and read, went for a walk, then posted and read some more until the urge past or I fell asleep. Joining a class on the daily support threads was really helpful, basically like joining a team of people who were just starting out like me. We leaned on each other, pulled each other through. Reading about AVRT on SR's secular threats helped a lot, too.
I know how hard it is at first—the urge feels so strong, almost irresistible. But it is absolutely resistible. It's just a feeling, it can't actually harm us. There's not even physical pain—it's just an urge. Just your addiction, kicking and screaming, trying to get you to feed it. Don't listen to it. It says drinking will make you feel better—but is that true? Of course not. You know what's really in that bottle—just regret, fear, and despair.
It's hard at first..... but wow, is it ever worth it. You're going to be so glad you did this!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 246
but that tomorrow never arrives.
Boy do I know that tune! And the worst of it is, i would get more hammered because "this is my last time".
You are in the right place. Reading and posting gets you out of your own head and the conversations you have had a million times with yourself.
Welcome and best wishes!!!
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