Woke up
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Welcome Carejoy -
I kept up heavy social drinking well into my 30's, and when many of my old friends slowed down due to marriage/family, I moved the party to my couch where I started drinking hard alcohol alone every night. The occasional night out or weekend ball game invite turned me into a rotten mess. Everything hurt, all the time, and my anxiety levels were through the roof until I started drinking in the mornings...as you can probably guess, I eventually hit "rock bottom".
I sure wish I'd have had the sense to quit before the ambulances needed to be called. If you think it's embarrassing to lose your phone and act like a fool at ladies' night, it's a lot more shameful to be wheeled into a hospital on a gurney! I think you are showing some real foresight by trying to get a hold of your situation. Good for you for coming here and displaying such honesty.
So, what's the plan? Did you drink today? What can you do to stay sober tomorrow? Next week?
I kept up heavy social drinking well into my 30's, and when many of my old friends slowed down due to marriage/family, I moved the party to my couch where I started drinking hard alcohol alone every night. The occasional night out or weekend ball game invite turned me into a rotten mess. Everything hurt, all the time, and my anxiety levels were through the roof until I started drinking in the mornings...as you can probably guess, I eventually hit "rock bottom".
I sure wish I'd have had the sense to quit before the ambulances needed to be called. If you think it's embarrassing to lose your phone and act like a fool at ladies' night, it's a lot more shameful to be wheeled into a hospital on a gurney! I think you are showing some real foresight by trying to get a hold of your situation. Good for you for coming here and displaying such honesty.
So, what's the plan? Did you drink today? What can you do to stay sober tomorrow? Next week?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Hi Carejoy,
Yep, that was me too. I finally couldn't take it anymore. Not one more morning loathing who I had become. Not one more.
I think the hardest part in the beginning is you know you can't do it anymore but you are scared to live without it. I figured I needed to just pick which hard I wanted. Neither was going to be easy. So I picked my hard. I quit drinking alcohol. And I couldn't imagine how I would ever survive without my silent liquid feeling changer in a bottle with a pretty wrapper. But I did. Sometimes alone but mostly with support.
And then I learned to love me just the way I was. Sober.
Granted. It wasn't always easy. Some days were glorious and I felt I could do anything. Some days I was lucky to shower. But the farther I got away from drinking it the more opportunity I had to work on all the things I was so lousy at doing. Like valuing myself. Liking myself. Being proud of myself. Taking on whatever I was feeling and surviving it. Actually, growing because of it.
I figured I needed to choose my hard and take the sob on or it would choose it for me.
You can do it. You got a lot of people here who understand.
Yep, that was me too. I finally couldn't take it anymore. Not one more morning loathing who I had become. Not one more.
I think the hardest part in the beginning is you know you can't do it anymore but you are scared to live without it. I figured I needed to just pick which hard I wanted. Neither was going to be easy. So I picked my hard. I quit drinking alcohol. And I couldn't imagine how I would ever survive without my silent liquid feeling changer in a bottle with a pretty wrapper. But I did. Sometimes alone but mostly with support.
And then I learned to love me just the way I was. Sober.
Granted. It wasn't always easy. Some days were glorious and I felt I could do anything. Some days I was lucky to shower. But the farther I got away from drinking it the more opportunity I had to work on all the things I was so lousy at doing. Like valuing myself. Liking myself. Being proud of myself. Taking on whatever I was feeling and surviving it. Actually, growing because of it.
I figured I needed to choose my hard and take the sob on or it would choose it for me.
You can do it. You got a lot of people here who understand.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: okc,ok
Posts: 10
Good Morning Carejoy,
Please stop now. I wasted 10 years of my life drinking every night at home, rum and diet coke. I can't even begin to count the times I drunk texted or said some stupid embarrassing things on the internet or started fights with my husband because we BOTH drank.. I about lost a super good marriage over it too..now we are going on 30 years. There really is a better life on the other side of the coin. Lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks, no more red face and busted blood veins, bloated belly, yellowish eyes, dry skin, bad reeking breath, blubbering stupid talk around my kid. I got so bad on numerous occasions I drove my kid drunk to school in the morning and could hardly even see the road!!! I thought well...I slept for 2 hours I am just hung over not knowing I was still plastered. Thank god she was young and I sucked on cough drops to mask the smell and did not kill us both..omg what a liar alcohol is, I hate alcohol and everything it took from me and my family!! Then after time you get back your energy and self-worth. Keep up the good work it does pay off!
Please stop now. I wasted 10 years of my life drinking every night at home, rum and diet coke. I can't even begin to count the times I drunk texted or said some stupid embarrassing things on the internet or started fights with my husband because we BOTH drank.. I about lost a super good marriage over it too..now we are going on 30 years. There really is a better life on the other side of the coin. Lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks, no more red face and busted blood veins, bloated belly, yellowish eyes, dry skin, bad reeking breath, blubbering stupid talk around my kid. I got so bad on numerous occasions I drove my kid drunk to school in the morning and could hardly even see the road!!! I thought well...I slept for 2 hours I am just hung over not knowing I was still plastered. Thank god she was young and I sucked on cough drops to mask the smell and did not kill us both..omg what a liar alcohol is, I hate alcohol and everything it took from me and my family!! Then after time you get back your energy and self-worth. Keep up the good work it does pay off!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Viginia Beach VA
Posts: 26
Originally Posted by bigsombrero 
Welcome Carejoy -
I kept up heavy social drinking well into my 30's, and when many of my old friends slowed down due to marriage/family, I moved the party to my couch where I started drinking hard alcohol alone every night. The occasional night out or weekend ball game invite turned me into a rotten mess. Everything hurt, all the time, and my anxiety levels were through the roof until I started drinking in the mornings...as you can probably guess, I eventually hit "rock bottom".
I sure wish I'd have had the sense to quit before the ambulances needed to be called. If you think it's embarrassing to lose your phone and act like a fool at ladies' night, it's a lot more shameful to be wheeled into a hospital on a gurney! I think you are showing some real foresight by trying to get a hold of your situation. Good for you for coming here and displaying such honesty.
So, what's the plan? Did you drink today? What can you do to stay sober tomorrow? Next week?
I kept up heavy social drinking well into my 30's, and when many of my old friends slowed down due to marriage/family, I moved the party to my couch where I started drinking hard alcohol alone every night. The occasional night out or weekend ball game invite turned me into a rotten mess. Everything hurt, all the time, and my anxiety levels were through the roof until I started drinking in the mornings...as you can probably guess, I eventually hit "rock bottom".
I sure wish I'd have had the sense to quit before the ambulances needed to be called. If you think it's embarrassing to lose your phone and act like a fool at ladies' night, it's a lot more shameful to be wheeled into a hospital on a gurney! I think you are showing some real foresight by trying to get a hold of your situation. Good for you for coming here and displaying such honesty.
So, what's the plan? Did you drink today? What can you do to stay sober tomorrow? Next week?
I love this statement! I couldn't write everything I was feeling and all of you can explain my life better than I could! I plan to stay sober for the next 24 hours to start with. I have found some great sources to use on here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Viginia Beach VA
Posts: 26
Beginning of day three sober. No waking up with fright as to what did I do last night. No running to the kitchen to "hide" any evidence. No checking the computer and phone to see if I did something wrong. No guilt trying to figure out if I embarrassed my kids. Drinking is truly like a fever you can't escape. You know it is so wrong and but you can't escape. A true insanity. A literal "buzz" of insanity. Thank you day 3 from the bottom of my heart.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey Carejoy!! 
Hangover free mornings are great, aren't they? keep focused on all the positives of being Sober and think about them when you feel like drinking, they'll help to get you through the day!!
Hangover free mornings are great, aren't they? keep focused on all the positives of being Sober and think about them when you feel like drinking, they'll help to get you through the day!!
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Yay you Carejoy!!!! 
The guilt-thing with drinking around my children was a huge driver to sobriety for me. I shudder to think how long I had a wine glass in my hand at every given moment at home.....thinking that it really was a shame to be teaching my children that this was ok......and then stowing that guilt because I didn't want to quit. Icky feeling. There's was a party on my couch, only I was the mommy who quietly drank until she passed out on it.
I started this journey to sobriety six months ago. It hasn't been a perfect ride, but I am there now ~ and I will tell you that the very best part is the feeling of being sober for my children.
Back in September when I started, I joined the September class here at SR. That has been a wonderful experience. If you haven't done this already, you may want to check out the February class. It's good to have a posse! My class kept me accountable and it was great to talk through stuff with them, when I felt like drinking. The class is everyone who is quitting in February.
Hope you have a lovely sober day Carejoy!
Originally Posted by Carejoy
No guilt trying to figure out if I embarrassed my kids. Drinking is truly like a fever you can't escape. You know it is so wrong and but you can't escape.
I started this journey to sobriety six months ago. It hasn't been a perfect ride, but I am there now ~ and I will tell you that the very best part is the feeling of being sober for my children.
Back in September when I started, I joined the September class here at SR. That has been a wonderful experience. If you haven't done this already, you may want to check out the February class. It's good to have a posse! My class kept me accountable and it was great to talk through stuff with them, when I felt like drinking. The class is everyone who is quitting in February.
Hope you have a lovely sober day Carejoy!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 556
Congratulations on day 3 carejoy! Quitting drinking isn't easy but man, there is some sweet relief in it. Someone upthread said that you get to a point where everything hurts, and that's definitely how it felt for me at the end. Everything hurt - physically, emotionally, spiritually. Removing the alcohol has its own kind of pain and struggle but it's an honest hurt, a hurt with purpose, that is leading to a better place, one you can be proud of every day. You are doing great. Keep going.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Viginia Beach VA
Posts: 26
Here I am at day 5! I am so thankful for this site! I received a book I ordered yesterday from a suggestion I got from a wonderful person on here and I could not stop reading it. I felt stress yesterday at work and to combat the desire to go to happy hour, I sat down and listened to some guided meditation on you tube. This was also a suggestion I got from a member. Thank you for giving me tools to help my "sober self". She IS still in there! I feel joy this morning!!!!!!
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