Jansen

I've gone two weeks sober. I'm drunk... again.

Just had to pick up the guitar and remembering how good I was when I could just let my feels flow.

So many great songs that I just couldn't tune into without alcohol.

I was in the zone a few hours ago. Now I'm just coasting, watching youtube and all the songs I should be able to play... If I weren't drunk.

I want that feeling every day. Tomorrow? I'll hate myself.

Two weeks, and I couldn't help myself. That sucks. Why did I drink today? Well, because I just needed a boost. I talked myself in to it, and now I'm back to... scratch? Day 1?

It sucks to tell yourself that you won't drink, and then go back to the old familiar.

Goldcoastgirl

You are not alone Jansen. I know it is disappointing I did the same last weekend and beat myself up and I was over a month sober. Tomorrow is a new day, don't give up.

finaltime

I did that exact same thing last wed. Was doing so well, feeling strong and secure, energy, doing things that I had been putting off. THEN BAM wed went to the store got two bottles of wine, then called my coke dealer. Thursday was HURTING. Friday-sunday was ok, then sunday night had a big dinner with friends, DRANK AGAIN. Monday got pills, spent the last 5 days hating myself, popping pills, drinking every night so I didn't have to think….

Now its saturday am, no pills, no booze, no coke, and feeling uneasy. My back is playing tricks on me, and my AV is wanting to stay in control. OVER IT.

can you go to a meeting tomorrow? I was going to meetings, that was helping me. Now look.

All we can do is pick ourselves up and keep on trying. My problem now is I am starting to be afraid of feeling super good as I know where that leads. Why can't I just always be happy to feel good. Why does it always have to be this stupid treat to feel normal. UGH its like if I am high or hungover or coming down, I don't need to think. Then I focus on that. Is that really what I want my life to be about? hang in there

Anna

It's often hard to stop drinking for good and many of us falter. The main thing is that you're back and you've learned something about yourself and now you can move on.

2muchpain

Jansen, you went 2 weeks sober. That's no easy thing to do!! That took a lot of strength. The way I look at it, you messed up, but you can get strength from that too. It's not a total waste as long as you get back on track quickly. Otherwise, you lose a lot of what you have gained. Good luck.

Notmyrealname

A big part of my learning to be sober was learning to say "no" and to be rock-solid consistent about it. A month's time of staying off the sauce can in some ways be boiled down to merely a couple of minutes' worth of making the right decision (i.e., "NO") on a few discrete occasions.

I fell off the wagon numerous times during a year of trying to get my head straight, finally stuck after a bunch of limited successes. 240 days sober today (hey that's about 2/3 of a year, now that I think about it.. wow, time flies) . Just keep at it, man, strive for steady progress, don't let setbacks get you out of your groove.

least

I tried and failed at recovery until I finally wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Then I was able to stay sober.

Welcome to the SR family.

Jansen

Thank you for your posts.

KateL

Just try again Jansen. It happens xxxx

rove27

Just get back on the horse:-) Another lesson learned!

Kero

I faltered badly last weekend. I had a plan. I wanted to finish reading a good book, play some video games, and stay sober. Well, I drank and guess what? All those good things I wanted to do didn't happen.

This weekend I didn't stop at the booze store (first Friday in a LOOOONG time).

After last weekend I didn't think of staying sober like I was giving something up, but instead getting all those other things back! I just watched a great movie with my spouse (and could actually stay awake!), read some more of my book, and now I'm still feeling great and might play some video games. Had I stopped at the booze store on the way home, I'd have lost all those things.

Hope this helps you and stay at it. Don't get discouraged.