thelonghaul

I had to take an ambulance to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack. was released without my keys, no wallet. walked the 30 blocks home in hospital socks. Now I'm sober 12 hours give or take, I feel like crying, I just want this to stop.I didn't even think I drank that much but before I knew it, in 5 days, I went from a beer to handle a day. Whats wrong with me? I've got a great family, excellent roommates (not enablers). I guess i'm just scared of being sober.

EverySngleNight

Have you considered going to rehab? If you haven't been able to do it on your own, and things are getting so bad that you're walking 30 blocks in socks- It may be time to consider a higher level of care. Sending my best.

littlefish

I had a long list of all the things that were wrong with me. When I got sober, it seemed that there really had been only one thing wrong, my drinking.
There's a whole lot you can do to get started on recovery. Find a meeting, AA or a non-faith based program. Find inpatient or outpatient treatment. I started with a dr. Appt to get my blood work done.
Then I started with an outpatient program. And an addiction therapist. That same week I started going to AA.

I'm sober today and can't imagine living the miserable, sick and dangerous way I used to live drinking. It seems like a strangers life when I think back on it.

You can experience a real feeling of hope if you get busy and take some practical steps to installing a program of recovery in your life. Today!
You can do this -

Nonsensical

Sounds to me like you're addicted to alcohol.

Ghostlight1

I've wound up in some pretty horrible situations because of my drinking, too. I should, in fact, be dead. Someone was watching over me, I guess.
You can stop all the drama by stopping drinking. A handle a day is a lot and, if you're anything like me, things will only get worse.
I hope you do find a solution to your alcohol intake. There are people just waiting to help you.
I would start with a doctor and be brutally honest about your drinking and whats been going on.

I feel for you. I was like you for years. Sobriety has ended all the horrors I went through.
Best to you.

Dee74

Hi the longhaul

I think many of us are scared of change. I know I was. I also knew that my drinking life was no sustainable - something was gonna give - whether it was my health, my relationships, my job or what - something was going to break.

When you accept that, I think change can be made a little easier.

Think about what you've been doping to stay sober...then think about what else you could add to that.

You can do this

D

bigsombrero

Hi thelonghaul,

Many of us have been to the hospital due to panic attacks and/or more tangible issues like withdrawal seizures. I have been to the hospital for both of those reasons.

I know it's hard to imagine, but you should probably reach out and get some help. This is something that's going to be incredibly hard to manage without some support. For me, it was a very basic rehab clinic. For others it's AA (the price is right). For some it's Rational Recovery, or another program. The bottom line is that you need to learn some skills here that you don't have right now. I hope you can find somewhere to get started. Reach out.

least

I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

thelonghaul

thanks for all the input from everyone. Yes I'm definitely addicted to alcohol, there's no doubt about that. Im thinking AA for sure plus site and perhaps some out patient. Unfortunately I can't go to rehab (money and time issue) Right now I'm just holed up in my apartment. I'm getting a little closer to the 24 hr mark. Shakes have subsided, feeling better. Thanks for the wise words.

Mountainmanbob

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Mar 17, 2012 - 2 posts - ‎1 author
Liquor ceased to be a luxury, it became a necessity. ... 2) Do I see that once my drinking became a necessity that I had lost all control, choice, ...

Coldfusion

You are so fortunate to be in San Francisco! I've traveled all over the world, and that is my favorite city!

You can find any type of meeting you want, and there is almost always a meeting happening. Take advantage of that!

shay17

I'm sorry you're in this place right now.

I can relate. I walked out of ER in my hospital socks after falling and busting my head open in a 7-11. Luckily I only had to walk to a friends car. Second time I was in a 5150 hold for threatening to jump off the GG bridge when in a drunken fight with my ex boyfriend (i was in a black out). I also live in SF.

Yep, I'm not so proud of those times. I can only imagine what other horrific experiences await if I (we) keep giving in to this poison.

Good luck, congrats on nearly 24 hours - keep a positive outlook and don't be afraid to ask for as much support as you need to start stringing days together again.

soberlicious

I feel your pain. I was ranting and screaming in the psych ward, waving my arms around in an assless gown insisting that I was "not crazy". Actually, the truth is, I was not crazy at all. I was addicted to alcohol. As Non said, it sounds like you are too. The good news is that you can stop drinking alcohol. You have the ability to do that. Once you quit drinking, you can decide how you want your life to be and you can go about making it that way. Best to you. xo