Cant cope - Please help !!!
Alcohol Free Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
Cant cope - Please help !!!
The title says it all really, I have been sober for 6 weeks, but life seems to be beating me down. Feeling depressed and just cant cope without a drink.
I dont know what I am asking for, there is nothing anyone can do, except give what seem like empty words of encouragement, when all I want to do is get pissed.
Still sober, but my resolve has evaporated. I cant cope.
I dont know what I am asking for, there is nothing anyone can do, except give what seem like empty words of encouragement, when all I want to do is get pissed.
Still sober, but my resolve has evaporated. I cant cope.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Maybe you need more support Autan?
If you feel you're clinically depressed speaking to a Dr may help?
The one thing I know is that drinking will not solve anything.
You will be left with the same feelings, and a whole host of new ones.
You already know whats back there - it makes sense to me to stay on this new road.
The AV can be very tricky - I know you've been using AVRT - what does it say about this?
D
If you feel you're clinically depressed speaking to a Dr may help?
The one thing I know is that drinking will not solve anything.
You will be left with the same feelings, and a whole host of new ones.
You already know whats back there - it makes sense to me to stay on this new road.
The AV can be very tricky - I know you've been using AVRT - what does it say about this?
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Sorry to hear it. Many of us had a lot of help to learn coping skills. Have you ever thought about getting some medical/professional assistance with this illness? A cheap recovery clinic or rehab? Addiction therapy? These organizations and professionals exist because people like us need them.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Center of Mass
Posts: 622
I think life is a process where we all get beat down. However, how do we attain happiness? Through a chemical like alcohol? I used to stare at a wall where my guitar sat for years not realizing that my happiness existed in playing the dam thing. I stared at my dirty kitchen for years forgetting that I'm a dam good cook. I relied on every chemical you can think of to put me into an abstract world when what I was looking for was right in front of me. I realize these are empty words .. but it was my experience. Take what you will. Ramblings of an old man you understand 
Alcohol Free Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Maybe you need more support Autan?
If you feel you're clinically depressed speaking to a Dr may help?
The one thing I know is that drinking will not solve anything.
You will be left with the same feelings, and a whole host of new ones.
You already know whats back there - it makes sense to me to stay on this new road.
The AV can be very tricky - I know you've been using AVRT - what does it say about this?
D
If you feel you're clinically depressed speaking to a Dr may help?
The one thing I know is that drinking will not solve anything.
You will be left with the same feelings, and a whole host of new ones.
You already know whats back there - it makes sense to me to stay on this new road.
The AV can be very tricky - I know you've been using AVRT - what does it say about this?
D
Closing the gates of Oblivion
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: OK, USA
Posts: 273
Try to remember that life will always have ups and downs. Sometimes the downs seem to keep piling up before things get better. Alcohol was my coping mechanism so I struggle to find ways to deal with the downs and depression. I just remind myself that drinking will not actually fix any of the issues that I am dealing with, it will only numb me and then I will start to ignore my problems. When I do decide to sober up, the problems have only piled up and it makes sobriety that much more difficult. My best advice is patience and determination, knowing that things will start going your way if you wait. Good Luck autan. Don't let the alcohol and depression tell you what to do.
Alcohol Free Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
Originally Posted by bigsombrero
Sorry to hear it. Many of us had a lot of help to learn coping skills. Have you ever thought about getting some medical/professional assistance with this illness? A cheap recovery clinic or rehab? Addiction therapy? These organizations and professionals exist because people like us need them.
Alcohol Free Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
The bottom line is, my happiness is based on my family being secure. They are secure because my business provides for them. It provides because Autan, is good at doing what he does. He is only good at this while drunk.
You see the problem, since I have been sober (6 weeks), my business is on its knees and so am I. I cannot cope without the old me. Its not much of a choice, but I am beginning to realise that I need to prioritise.
You see the problem, since I have been sober (6 weeks), my business is on its knees and so am I. I cannot cope without the old me. Its not much of a choice, but I am beginning to realise that I need to prioritise.
Live easy but think first
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Sonoran Desert
Posts: 480
I can only speak from my experience.
1.) You aren't alone. We drank because it was our solution. It stopped working, though. When we give up alcohol, we need a new solution.
2.) I found a solution in 12 steps. That may work for you. If it doesn't, do not worry. There are others. SMART is another one. The thing is to find people in your area that can support you and show you the way. We need support.
3.) Learning about the disease of addiction helped me understand why I feel the way I feel and how I can change it.
Good on you for reaching out!!!
Daxemus
1.) You aren't alone. We drank because it was our solution. It stopped working, though. When we give up alcohol, we need a new solution.
2.) I found a solution in 12 steps. That may work for you. If it doesn't, do not worry. There are others. SMART is another one. The thing is to find people in your area that can support you and show you the way. We need support.
3.) Learning about the disease of addiction helped me understand why I feel the way I feel and how I can change it.
Good on you for reaching out!!!
Daxemus
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Center of Mass
Posts: 622
My experience as well. I could only do my job while I was using/drinking because of the intensity and stress. However, there came a time where my body and my mind had to take a break to get well. I had to kick the addiction that kept me fueled but was also killing me. Thank you for your post. The trap you see yourself in is the same one many of us have experienced. Be well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: la belle province, canada
Posts: 12
I've got only a few days of sobriety on you, nothing more, so I can't offer you any sage advice, just my little bit of experience.
What became important for me was the realization that I really couldn't do this on my own. Checking into a facility where I was removed from all of my life circumstances made a difference. I did two weeks there but could have easily spent six. Attending sessions where we identified our drinking triggers and discussed non-drinking/using ways to cope with our anxieties helped. I also have a therapist that helps me work on the emotional **** behind my drinking.
These are big issues, ones we've obviously demonstrated little ability to address on our own. Seeking help and trusting the things you're told, even when they don't make immediate sense, is a difficult but critical part of the process.
Wishing you my best. I hope you keep giving sobriety a go.
What became important for me was the realization that I really couldn't do this on my own. Checking into a facility where I was removed from all of my life circumstances made a difference. I did two weeks there but could have easily spent six. Attending sessions where we identified our drinking triggers and discussed non-drinking/using ways to cope with our anxieties helped. I also have a therapist that helps me work on the emotional **** behind my drinking.
These are big issues, ones we've obviously demonstrated little ability to address on our own. Seeking help and trusting the things you're told, even when they don't make immediate sense, is a difficult but critical part of the process.
Wishing you my best. I hope you keep giving sobriety a go.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Originally Posted by autan
The bottom line is, my happiness is based on my family being secure. They are secure because my business provides for them. It provides because Autan, is good at doing what he does. He is only good at this while drunk.
You see the problem, since I have been sober (6 weeks), my business is on its knees and so am I. I cannot cope without the old me. Its not much of a choice, but I am beginning to realise that I need to prioritise.
You see the problem, since I have been sober (6 weeks), my business is on its knees and so am I. I cannot cope without the old me. Its not much of a choice, but I am beginning to realise that I need to prioritise.
Booze doesn't give you any talents or aptitudes that you don't have naturally Autan.
I think your AV has you so wound up right now you're not even really taking in the responses you're getting here.
You're panicking. Take a deep breathe
Take back control.
Dismiss drinking as an option.
There must be other options.
What else do you have?
D
Closing the gates of Oblivion
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: OK, USA
Posts: 273
Each time I have sobered up, my work life has suffered and I have been on the verge of being fired due to my poor performance. In the beginning, I am learning to cope again, I have a fog in my head, I am trying to concentrate with a constant voice reminding me about booze, the withdrawal symptoms make functioning near impossible. Things do turn around. You start to remember what made you great and you can incorporate those things into your sober life. I am just now inching back into the safety zone at work currently, but have been teetering on the edge. You can still be successful and confidant staying sober.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Originally Posted by autan
He is only good at this while drunk.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Man find some people to talk with, your peers would be good. There are many choices these days all of them good. Just acknowledge that voice and then tell it to %^^& off and do what you have to do to stay sober. It will improve and improve and improve but only if you stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Thank you for your post because you gave me a lot to think about. Why I relapsed after ten and a half months of sobriety. Fear of economic and emotional instability. I hope you find a resolution to what is troubling you. It can be overwhelming.
Last summer I had 10.5 months sober. I was feeling a little anxious but doing okay. I found that my husband relapsed. In the minute between the time I found the bottle and he admitted drinking it seemed my life flashed at fast forward and none of it pretty. I saw the bank accounts dwindle because he was either not working or was stealing money from the accounts, I saw myself going to bed by myself every night that he was out until dawn. Me doing all the work around the house and holding it all together because my salary pays the bills. His is icing on the cake. I saw our debt grow higher as I charged bills to overcome the shortfall because of the drained accounts. All this in the flash of an eye.
I drank because that picture scared me. I had gone through it too many times. I kept drinking and all I had pictured came to fruition. My fears became reality. But the alcohol only made things worse because now I was wasting money on alcohol plus being a lunatic while drinking. Finally I had enough. I put the brakes on November 12, 2013. It wasn't easy. My husband continued to use but I had inside me what I needed to survive and had only just realized it.
I CAN do this sober. You can too, I am willing to bet but fear might be blocking your vision. Peace.
Last summer I had 10.5 months sober. I was feeling a little anxious but doing okay. I found that my husband relapsed. In the minute between the time I found the bottle and he admitted drinking it seemed my life flashed at fast forward and none of it pretty. I saw the bank accounts dwindle because he was either not working or was stealing money from the accounts, I saw myself going to bed by myself every night that he was out until dawn. Me doing all the work around the house and holding it all together because my salary pays the bills. His is icing on the cake. I saw our debt grow higher as I charged bills to overcome the shortfall because of the drained accounts. All this in the flash of an eye.
I drank because that picture scared me. I had gone through it too many times. I kept drinking and all I had pictured came to fruition. My fears became reality. But the alcohol only made things worse because now I was wasting money on alcohol plus being a lunatic while drinking. Finally I had enough. I put the brakes on November 12, 2013. It wasn't easy. My husband continued to use but I had inside me what I needed to survive and had only just realized it.
I CAN do this sober. You can too, I am willing to bet but fear might be blocking your vision. Peace.
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